Oh, this week was chock full of fun. Enjoy.
ER 1 am
Oh stomach issues, why do
you make my life suck?
After six hours of
CAT scans/ ultrasounds, it’s not
appendicitis
Now I must dabble
in the world of stool samples
I think I might hork
What you are telling
me is that I need to shit
in that plastic cup?
And put it in the
freezer? Should I place it next
to the chicken strips?
My pants are falling
off my hips, this girl needs some
down-home good cooking
Heather B, our phone
conversation was a mere
glimpse at my mania
Am I Bea Arthur?
Sis called me geriatric
while at Bloomingdales
Are these underwear
granny panties? Am I not
bringing sexy back?
Well, her sales pitch worked
I now own the Cadillac
of thongs, lots of them
I could not decide
amidst the pretty colors
so I bought a lot
Whoa, is that a breeze
on my ass cheeks? Awkward, yo
Husband sure likes them
Mind has certainly
been in the gutter lately
Maybe it’s the thongs?
If you think some blogs
are sellouts, then quit fucking
reading them, simple
The best mascara
is sitting on drugstore shelves
LashExact, trust me
And no, I was not
compensated to say that
Peace be with you
I mentioned before
The Carpenters make me cringe
My personal hell
If I hear one more
Carpenters Christmas song, I
will off myself soon
It’s confession time
I enjoy writing haikus
Have a great weekend!
Rachel
December 12, 2008 at 6:48 pmI’m in my early thirties and had never heard of Hanky Panky thongs either. Then again, I don’t really have, uh, a thong-friendly figure. But it’s good to where to go if that changes!
cartoongoddess
December 12, 2008 at 7:50 pmSorry to hear about your tummy troubles, but that is one of the funniest haikus I have read in a while.
Thanks!
Courtney
December 12, 2008 at 10:07 pmThe haiku’s crack me up. Thongs are comfortable, if a bit breezy. :)
Miss Virginia
December 13, 2008 at 8:38 amI love hanky panky’s. Try the middle rise ones w/ the, um, cotton underpart. You’ll love em!
Angella
December 13, 2008 at 9:31 amLashExact, you say?
You ARE the queen of products
And beauty advice
I have been loving
ColossalVolumExpress
But will check it out
I agree with you
The Carpernters should be banned
They’re of the debbil
Carrie
December 14, 2008 at 6:03 pmYour many haikus
Fun to read, and inspire
the poet in me
Thanks!