Groceries and Egg Nog

Pennsylvania Dutch
you make me want to strip nude
and run through the hills

So sweet, warming my
jaded innards, I can’t stop
drinking your goodness

Grocery shopping
with my father is quite a
hysterical time

Pushing the cart while
hearing “HOLY CHRIST! Look at
the price of coffee!”

He also enjoys
making friends with every
deli employee

Have I told you ’bout
my dad’s immense candy drawer?
More sugar than sweet

Blow pops, Sour Patch Kids
Snickers, Kit Kats, Special Dark
My ass will expand

Early Christmas gift
Guitar from dad’s collection
My heart’s a tingle

Greensleeves, did you know
it’s about a prostitute?
Talk about ho HO

  1. Kassi

    December 18, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    Blow pops, Sour Patch Kids
    Snickers, Kit Kats, Special Dark
    My ass will expand

    That one is my favorite! And pictures of the guitar please!

  2. Tracey

    December 18, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    This made me laugh… May your ass not explode this holiday season…

  3. andrea

    December 18, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    You mean to tell me that they make eggnog already spiked with the good stuff. Saves my lazy ass a step. May have to venture out in the snow to find myself some of that good stuff, but might just have to have another hot toddie first.

  4. hi kooky

    December 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Your dad sounds cool. I wish my dad had an immense candy drawer.

  5. Vanessa

    December 18, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    Loving the haikus, wish I had a candy drawer like that!

  6. Brian

    December 18, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    I call it “I push my shopping cart in shame”

    tears wetting the case
    the state of oklahoma
    sells only near beer

  7. Kristabella

    December 19, 2008 at 7:39 am

    Greensleeves is about a prostitute? No, I did NOT know that.

    I hope we’re going to get a Haiku about your shopping trip with Slynnro.

  8. courtney

    December 19, 2008 at 10:21 am

    I didn’t know Greensleeves was about a prostitute, but I did know the tune was written by Henry VIII. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

  9. Rhi

    December 19, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Your blog is so educational. I’ll bring the Greensleeves fact up at Christmas Dinner with my dad. He’ll appreciate it, I know.

  10. Courtney

    December 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Your dad sounds awesome. There’s nothing wrong with drawers ful of candy. Except for the fat ass thing. That part kinda sucks.

  11. amy

    December 20, 2008 at 6:33 am

    so so good! loving this!