Dear Target

I have a bone to pick with you, Target. First off, I would like you to know that I am a very nice person who enjoys giving the benefit of the doubt. You are a very popular store. I get it.

However, why must it be so difficult for you to keep my meager list of needed items in stock? Will the glorious day ever arrive when I can cross off 100% of the items on my shopping list before exiting your store? For instance, WHY OH GOD WHY is it so hard for you to keep Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths on your shelves? You have 3,000 Dove Moisturizing Face Cloths and 14,000 Dove Deep Clean Face Cloths sitting right there in front of my face, mocking me. All I need is ONE BOX of Sensitive Skin Cloths. WHHYYYYYYY?

Funny story, Target. Do you realize that the primary reason I started using Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths was because you couldn’t keep the Oil of Olay Sensitive Face Cloths on the shelves? So, after much trial and tribulation, I finally found a new brand that didn’t make my skin weep and always seemed to be in stock? But NOW, the Dove ones are always sold out? Do you know how this makes me feel, Target? It makes me feel very shaky. Isn’t that a funny story, Target? Not so much funny ha-ha, but funny stab stab STAB.

Same with deodorant. (Why is it so difficult for me to spell deodorant without spell check? Am I the only one?) I have long been a user of Secret Powder Fresh or “Protecting Powder” deodorant (p.s. – Secret, please stop changing the names. You are confusing me.), yet it has been virtually impossible to find on your shelves. I have spent many, many cumulative hours searching though the sea of Secret deodorants: Vanilla, Rockstar Rose, Tutti-Frutti, Wild Jasmine, Cherry Mischief (seriously, WHO wants their armpits to smell like fruit?), Truth or Pear, Sparkly Shit, WHATEVER. JUST GIVE ME MY OLD SCHOOL POWDER FRESH, PEEPS.

Yet, no dice. So, once again, I changed my personal preference to ensure an In Stock Status. Secret Unscented seemed to be the wise choice, considering there are usually 325 Unscented ones on your shelves at all times. Also, who knew that I would actually enjoy not making my armpits smell like a fabricated freshly-washed baby’s ass? It’s liberating, I tell you!

I bet you know where this is going, don’t you? Over the past couple of months, I can’t find a Secret Unscented to save my life.

Target, I’m beginning to think you are toying with me, knowing that I must visit you in order to buy all of my Method cleaning products. What’s a girl gotta do to get some health and beauty product love?



  1. holly

    April 6, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    i was with you on that until you got to deodorant. i use secret unscented and there is never ONE in stock at target, if it is, the sticker has been pealed back and tampered with and messy white deodorant is stuck to the lid. i need to come to your target!

  2. whoorl

    April 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Oh no, Holly. If you keep reading, you’ll see we’re in the same unfortunate boat.

  3. sizzle

    April 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    I think you might need to move to Seattle because I have not experienced this sort of deficiency at any of my Targets. And for this I praise baby Jesus.

  4. Sarah

    April 6, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Secret has erradicated the unscented. I can’t find it ANYWHERE: Target, RiteAid, Ralphs. It is gone :( I don’t know what to do…

    Whaaat? It’s still listed on the website…fingers crossed.


    April 6, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    I actually started using Degree Little Black Dress Certified, or some crap like that, because Target was out of my Secret (and I can’t get the cap off the Degree to save my life)…so I went to a different store and got a different Secret with an entirely new label and now I’m thinking of just growing my armpit hair and going au naturel. (Not really).

    And I’ve avoided using the “d” word in this whole comment becuase no, I don’t know how to spell it either.

  6. Jessica

    April 6, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Lately I can’t find my method products at Target. And they didn’t have my intuition cartridges. Tarrrrgetttt!!!

  7. Kate

    April 6, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    I struggled endlessly with spelling deodorant correctly on the first try until I realized that it’s deODORant — so you just have to remember there’s an odor inside.

    Kate! OMG! You have solved my issue with spelling that word. You are a genius, my friend.

  8. Stephanie

    April 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    True story: My husband and I once had a full-blown argument about how to spell deodorant.

    Method products . . . yummy.

  9. Jessica

    April 6, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    I am all about drugstore.com for this reason. I order my deodorant, my husband’s deodorant and all my face stuff in one swoop and like three days later, it arrives. No searching, no empty shelves (WHY TARGET, WHY!) and also helps with the old budget…

    Kate, you have also taught me how to spell deodorant. I MAY be spelling deodorant continuously because now I know how to spell deodorant.


  10. Amy

    April 6, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I’m originally from Minnesota, the Birthplace of Target. I never had trouble finding my preferred items in stock at any one of the number of Targets I frequented until I moved to Seattle. The Northgate Target is always so picked over I stopped going there and order all my toiletries from Drugstore.com.
    Did you know there is a schedule for when they restock certain departments? Wednesday is usually the day to stock the beauty department, but you can check with your store.

  11. Shash

    April 6, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    I feel the same way, but about the Method products we apparently so covet. Target has scaled back on the amount of products they stock. My favorite aroma pill, Pomegranate Tea, is now MIA. SO my backup of Vanilla Apple? POOF! Gone too!

    Target is SO on notice around here….

  12. Miguelina

    April 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Sure unscented gel. You’re welcome.

  13. Jen

    April 6, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    I DO NOT understand the ‘Sparkly Shit’ deodorant thing that Secret has going on. Who the heck wants sparkles in their armpits???

  14. Alana @ The Good Girl Gone Blog

    April 6, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I’m so sad to hear that you’ve had bad Target experiences. (Wow, I should do customer service for them…) Target is typically my “happy place,” and they usually have everything I need, plus tons of extra stuff that I want and don’t need but by anything (aka stuff for my non-existent kitchen).

  15. Courtney

    April 6, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    I loooove Target, but I had a similar problem. I really really wanted the Baby Einstein Jumper for the baby and I got a gift card for Christmas. I went to FOUR different Targets before I found ONE in stock despite the first three saying they had at least five in the store! Lame-o. And then baby decided she doesn’t really think the jumper is that cool so there.