Oh, you guys. I’ve been waiting to post for the past several days – just daydreaming of a fun way to tell you that we were in escrow on our first house. Not only our first house, but THE house. Our house. The house that has kept D and I up into the wee hours of the night for the past few weeks, giggling and planning our future. Picking out paint colors, looking through floor samples, measuring spaces…planning the start of a new chapter in a place that could truly be ours. A mid-century, ranch-style home that hadn’t been on the market for over 40 years, it needed a decent amount of work, but it was perfect for us, and we were so ready to take the next step.

We didn’t get it.

Call it a lack of communication, call it first-time home buyer naiveté, call it whatever…we didn’t get it. We were outbid. Totally blindsided, and literally sick with regret.

I always heard that buying a house was an emotional process, but I am just baffled at how upsetting this has been for me. The only thing I can compare it to is a horrible breakup. The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, the ridiculous amount of tears…I’m at a loss. I just want to rewind, but I can’t. I truly felt in my heart of hearts that the home was meant to be ours, but it’s not. It’s someone else’s, and we just need to accept it and move forward.

But for now, I’ll be blue for a little bit longer.

  1. Leslie

    July 26, 2012 at 5:20 am

    I KNOW! You never think it’s going to be so sad, and then it is, and you keep thinking of the house anyway. Ugh. I’m sorry – that happened to my boyfriend and me last year. But then! We found a different but also wonderful house, and we got that one! So… that could be waiting around the corner for you guys.

    Good luck!

  2. Lyndsay

    July 26, 2012 at 7:34 am

    Same thing happened to us. I cried and cried. Then, I got a phone call that the buyers couldn’t sell their home and backed out – were we still interested? We had already signed a contract on another house right down the street from the dream house. Damn the luck. Now I look at the owners with hatred every time I drive by. That was our house! All this to say, I empathize.

  3. Rhi

    July 26, 2012 at 8:06 am

    Oh, man. It’s SO HARD not to get emotionally attached. Hoping something that fits you guys better comes along soon!

  4. claudia098

    July 26, 2012 at 8:36 am

    I’m sorry to hear it. It doesn’t help now, but you’ll find another house that is even more perfect, because this time it will be YOURS!

  5. ohjennymae

    July 26, 2012 at 9:30 am

    aw, man. there’s gonna be a house out there and you’ll love it just as much (if not more!) and it will be yours! you guys could transform any measly shack into a beautiful mid-century abode. i know my words may seem hollow because you truly are mourning the loss of the home you thought was the one, but i know you’ll find another. and it will be perfect.

  6. Samantha

    July 26, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Been there three times in the last eighteen months. It sucks and you’re right, it feels exactly like some kind of horrible break-up where the guy won’t return your calls or your emails and he passes you in the hall at school and laughs with his buddies and acts like he didn’t even see you.

    Here’s what annoyed me the most when we lost our first dream house: “Oh, the right house is out there. You’ll find one you love even more.” I called bullshit until we fell in love with our second house and then boom. Gone. Heard the same crap again. Didn’t believe them until we found the third house. And then that one was lost, too and we heard it again.

    But this time? I believe them. ‘Cause it’s totally true. I’m sorry you guys lost your dream house, but there really, really is another one out there. Promise. (And it’s okay if you don’t believe me.)

  7. Elizabeth

    July 26, 2012 at 10:54 am

    I have this feeling not with houses, but with jobs. So close. My husband is trying to move into a new job, and he tends to come in second for numerous wonderful, perfect jobs. You’re in the last round of interviews! It’s between you and one other person! And then it’s always the other person. For me it’s always, Send us some work samples! We love it! We have the perfect project for you! And then, inevitably, the project gets canceled or underfunded, and, thus, I come so close, yet never close enough, to getting the perfect job. This cycle gets really old, really fast. I feel your pain.

  8. Janssen

    July 26, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Oh no! This is so heartbreaking. Good luck finding something you absolutely love.

  9. Lisa

    July 26, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    I’m so sorry! I’ve never bought a house myself, but I’m addicted to all the home buyer shows on HGTV and I’m planning to start looking in the next year or two, so I can only imagine what it’s like. There will be something else out there for you!

  10. Kate Haas

    July 28, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Same song and dance over here… but it all worked out because we found a MUCH better home soon after. You will too.
    Much Love, Kate

  11. Kaela

    July 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    This happened to me last month…heartbroken and sobbing on the phone to anyone who cared to listen. Then just this weekend a mid century ranch in even better condition came on market and I jumped on it. Now im scheduling my inspection and thanking the universe for not letting me have the first one I fell for. It was annoying to hear at the time but I was told “YOUR house is still out there” and it was…and now it shall be mine in all it’s mid-century goodness! Keep your head up. :)

  12. Pamela

    July 28, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Sarah, listen to me. We have been living like paupers and saving every dime for 3.5 years to buy our dream home. We searched for 8 months and looked at 38 houses (after ruling hundreds out online). I’m telling you all that to say, this was not meant to be. It wasn’t your house. Your house is out there waiting for you and God’s timing is always perfect. We too thought we found “the one” several months ago and were devastated when we didn’t get it. But now we are about to close on THE ONE and we are so glad we didn’t get the first house. I’ve come to see house hunting like being single: You date, hoping to find “the one”. Many were great but they didn’t really hold your interest. Some you thought you should like more than you did, but “it” wasn’t there. Maybe one or two passed through that you loved deeply but in hindsight see it wouldn’t have worked out. And then when you meet your husband you.just.know. And it’s right and it’s not tons of work or effort and although he’s not perfect he’s so much of what you hoped for that the compromises are worth it. That was your husband and that will be your house. I promise.

  13. Asha {Parent Hacks}

    July 29, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I am SO sorry to hear this, Sarah! Your commenters are full of wisdom…just wanted to send you good thoughts. I know there is a beautiful home in your future, but I also just wish I could send you some chicken soup for the now.

  14. bethany actually

    July 29, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry. Of course you’re blue. You’re grieving the home you thought you were going to have, and the possible future you and your family would have there. I hope you find another home that you will love just as much.