Bad News Bears

Have I ever told you how much I love my home? Well, I do. I love it, love it, love it. It is the most perfect, darling, updated beach bungalow in the world. You can even ask SAJ…she’ll concur, I’m sure.

My landlord just informed us that he is going to sell it.

Like right now.

The bastard.

I just received a letter with the information about the realtor who will be showing it, and according to him, he “has instructed her to use the utmost courtesy in giving advanced notice of showings and working around your baby’s napping schedule”.

Napping schedule? NAPPING SCHEDULE? What 5-week old has a fucking napping schedule? Um, Mr. Landlord, my baby’s schedule consists of two things. Eating and Sleeping at Random Times Throughout The Day. And unless you want your realtor to become close and personal friends with my nipple or her ass to be royally chewed when she wakes my baby, we better figure something else out ASAP.

I can’t believe this is happening right now. I don’t want to move.