You might want to sit down and grab a beverage. This might take a little bit.
This is my closet.
First things first – the fact that I didn’t re-fold every damn sweater in my closet before posting this photo is huge for me. HUGE. I mean, you are reading the blog of a girl who recently downloaded a friend’s Twitter profile photo, photoshopped a bothersome corner and emailed it to her. SHE DID NOT REQUEST THIS.
But really, folks. The corner was bothersome! One-eyed (precious) baby head staring at me!
These are the types of inconsequential things that plague me. (Believe it or not, my husband is 100 times worse than me. In fact, it’s his detailed aesthetic that has completely transformed me into a person who does things like the above. I BLAME YOU, D.)
So, yeah! OCD. Back to the sweaters. Look at the droopiness! The crookedness! The non-color coordination! Good God, this is hurting me deeply. Do you know that my first job out of college was the Assistant Manager at Ann Taylor? It goes without saying that this bitch can FOLD.
Back to my momentous occasion biznass. I am officially not shopping until April 10th. (cue fanfare) This is most likely NOT going to last, as I am afflicted with Retail Power Consumerism.
Most notable characteristics of RPC:
1) Knowing more about your UPS driver than your extended family.
2) Possessing a vast knowledge of a retail store’s inventory – more than the actual sales associates themselves. (Dear associates at J. Crew, when I ask you to grab the Dream Silvie Dress in Charcoal, I expect you to know what in the hell that means. The catalog should be your bible. GAH. Your Bright Papaya Jane flats look great on you, though!)
3) Refreshing your internet browser 156 times at 8:59pmPST before the day of a big online sale.
4) Purging your closet at least 2-3 times per year and still not wearing 65% off your belongings.
5) Constantly emailing with a group of fashion enablers. I happen to have four. (Just last night, we exchanged 17 emails between 6:39 and 6:55pm. It’s shameful, really.)
I know what some of you are thinking, though. That closet isn’t half bad! It’s not large, it looks totally manageable and is not over-flowing with random crap. Right?
Well, let me show you the other side of the closet. You know, the one that SHOULD be my husband’s side. (Riiiiight. His stuff is totally in Wito’s room.)
Okay, this is ridiculous. Starting at the left side of the photo and continuing until you see the clear, plastic hanging bag is my collection of jackets. OH MY GOD WHO NEEDS THAT MANY JACKETS? Must I remind you of where I live? Let me give you a hint – it was 83 DEGREES YESTERDAY. Look at all of those plastic boxes filled with shoes. I never wear those shoes.
However, that’s not all! See the following cabinets above my closet?
Those are filled with plastic bins of more clothes. Shocking, I know!
What are all of those clothes doing up there? Seriously. This photo also demonstrates my practice of buying certain styles in multiples. The stack of clothes above the bin is made up entirely of J. Crew Bermuda shorts. I’m pretty sure I own every color. (NOT NECESSARY!)
I also become a tad bit obsessed with certain brands. It seems after finding my perfect grey bag last year, I couldn’t STOP buying Hayden Harnett bags.
Again, NOT NECESSARY. And maybe a little weird.
Have I proven my point? The shopping needs to stop. I don’t think Wito’s college fund can be fueled by the resale of Hayden Harnett bags.
I’m not going to lie – for me, this is going to quite a challenge. Between my time spent online and this writing job, I am pretty much surrounded by purchasing opportunities, but I’m going to give it a good college try. (Thanks to my friends Joslyn and Susan for the idea. Now, can you two come to California and hold my hand?)
However, just because I’m not shopping doesn’t mean I’m not looking. In fact, I am introducing a new whoorl category entitled “What I’m Not Buying Today” where I will, well, show you what I’m not buying today. (See the link up in the top navigation bar!) Maybe YOU will buy it and I can live vicariously through you! YES, BRILLIANT!
In closing, when I told my lovely (yet dangerous) enablers of my new plan last night, the lovely Metalia wrote a little song to the tune of Goodbye, Lover by James Blunt for the occasion. (She’s the Weird Al of our time! But, you know, prettier. And normal.) Hold up your lighters, my friends.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw my bills, but “needed” that cardigan.
Yes I saw I was blinded, and I knew you had won.
So I took what’s mine, by eternal right.
That Sylvie dress, perfect for Date Night.
It may be over, but it won’t stop there,
So I’m stopping for now, because I need to repair.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
But I’ve changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I’ve purchased pea coats in bright red.
Shared my finds on the internet.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.
Goodbye to J. Crew.
Goodbye to Gap.
You have been the ones.
You have been the ones for me.
So, the question remains. Who wants to join me? COME ON! We can cry to one another on a weekly basis!
Green Is The New Dots
January 14, 2009 at 3:44 pmI respect your willpower (I wish I had it) and look forward to seeing what you’re not buying so that maybe I can (even though I shouldn’t). And I too have a coat addiction. I live in CHARLESTON, SC. It’s cold enough for a coat about 12 days out of the year. Upside: I have a different one for each day.
Carrisa
January 14, 2009 at 3:45 pmI feel the same as Rhi (shocker). I don’t want to join, but I know I need to join. Although I can say now that I think I’ve found someone who shops more than me. Your HH duster bags up there look an awful lot like my Fossil ones.
Your idea for posting what you’re not buying is brilliant. So if this is like a group thing you’re starting, count me in. I’ll slap a button on my blog and participate!
Leticia
January 14, 2009 at 3:49 pmMy problem is so opposite. I am so cheap it HURTS to buy stuff. And, I only have 1 jacket…and please hold yourself, it is my son’s old jacket that is a “hoodie” type jacket but with a zipper. I know. I should be ashamed, but just am too cheap to spend. I keep reading blogs of people that are a little “free-er” with their money so I can feel like its ok to spend on myself. So, pat yourself on the back. You are teaching me that I deserve to have nice things too and that its ok to splurge, sometimes. :o) (I need to buy a jacket.)
Nicole
January 14, 2009 at 4:09 pmGood for you! I dont shop often, we just cant afford it…three kids, one income. But I dream….boy do I dream and I make do with what I have and make combos I wouldnt have otherwise.
Are you going to do anything with the money you save…donate or sponsor a child or something?
Yes, I am going to donate it to a child. His name is Wito. ;) (I’m going to put in his savings account.)
SleepyNita
January 14, 2009 at 5:02 pmI just tossed 43 items from my closet to the good people of goodwill…… I have another 50 maternity items to go to charity next week. Freeing up that space is liberating. Also, need to shop because am now smaller then I was before pregnancy #2 and in dire need of pants. Need pants and a haircut. Badly.
Chris
January 14, 2009 at 5:22 pmApril 10th? Try me, cause I am not buying any clothes or shoes (excluding those for running as I am not willing to sacrifice my metatarsals) until January 1, 2010!!!
I have more than enough to wear to get me through the year (and beyond). I had decided this on Christmas Day and ma amazed how many people want to do the same, on the same scale or smaller.
Joanna
January 14, 2009 at 5:25 pmI’m joining the challenge. It’s always amazing to find out what you never really needed all along.
My dad is a business reporter and can’t stop urging everyone to buy, buy, buy (and thus stimulate the economy, free-market style). Maybe the solution is to encourage the wealthiest five percent of the country to step up their shopping while the rest of us dial it back?
Maggie
January 14, 2009 at 6:05 pmI’m doing it for all of 2009, and have offered my personal shopping services to friends, because as much as I enjoy having something new to wear, I prefer the ACT of shopping. It’s truly crazy.
Kim Yamaguchi
January 14, 2009 at 6:10 pmOk so I can’t help because I love everything I’ve ever seen you post. You have the clothes that I only wish I had. I’m totally living vicariously through *you* so I can’t buy the stuff you post and have you live vicariously through *me* because I think we’d cancel each other out.
But this post totally cracked me up and still made me jealous. (in a good way)
Jennifer R
January 14, 2009 at 6:41 pmWow. You must be my long lost sister. I have the same obsession with clothes, and I have a ton that I haven’t worn. I mean we have rooms full of clothes!!! There are only two of us in this house, we have five bedrooms and clothes in every one.
Don’t feel bad about the handbags, I have the same obsession with Coach. I could fund my unborn child’s college with those things too.
Miguelina
January 14, 2009 at 7:24 pmSee? I have the opposite problem. I hardly ever shop. I got into the habit once I started getting pregnant, and I’m looking to start spoiling myself again.
Call me after April 10.
(Just kidding. You can do it, Whoorl. You’ve got enviable willpower.)
Heather B.
January 14, 2009 at 7:25 pmI was just upset that I turned off my laptop for emails 4-32. Damn.
You can do it! WE can do it!
Actually I really shouldn’t support you all that much because of your awful HH enabling. Butthead.
Jolie Steele
January 15, 2009 at 5:42 amI’m in! I just purged my closet yesterday. I need to keep it de cluttered for awhile (and also stop SPENDING) so I will give it a go!
paula
January 15, 2009 at 7:20 ami too am on this quest. my problem is not clothes shopping for myself. it’s clothes shopping for my 3 year old. her closet, which is huge, overflows with things she doesn’t wear. she probably dresses in more designer clothing than i, pitiful really. I also have issues buying things i will use one day and never do.
Assertagirl
January 15, 2009 at 7:25 amWhen I find something I really like I buy it in three colours, too. Good luck with your non-shopping!