Tips For Prospective Nannies

1. Do not have a publicly accessible Myspace account.

2. Do not include myriads of photos of yourself drinking, smoking and licking your friends’ faces.

3. Do not make up stories about families you’ve nannied for in your past 15 years of experience.

4. Do not decline a 9:00am breakfast meeting because you have “an early breakfast outing with family”, only to show up at the 10:30am meeting time with wet hair pulled back into a bun. It might be a tad obvious that you just came from the shower. And honey, I can smell hangover from a mile away. Trust me, I am The Hangover Expert.

5. Do not make your friends pretend they are your work references. Do not tell me your married-with-kids reference is in Europe, when in actuality she’s single, has her own Myspace account, and apparently from her comment on your Myspace account, was partying with you in California last night.

6. Do not replicate unique grammatical errors in both your emails and your falsely-created reference emails.

7. Do not assume that mothers aren’t smart or technically savvy.

8. Do not fool yourself into thinking that mothers aren’t extremely intuitive when it comes to protecting their children.

9. Do NOT wonder why you weren’t hired.

I have found an absolutely wonderful, WONDERFUL nanny for Whoorlito who obviously has not committed any of these jackass maneuvers and additionally has passed my 1,225-point inspection. Cheers!

  • Jen

    November 26, 2006 at 9:59 am

    Wow. Just … wow. I really feel for you.

  • Angella

    November 26, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Oh. My. Word! Seriously. I hope the other prospective nannies are wonderful!

  • reddirtroad

    November 26, 2006 at 10:07 am

    11. Do NOT mess with the Whoorl.

  • Sadie

    November 26, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Holy shit, one of your prospective nannies really did this stuff?! My God, people are so dumb. I would love it if you’d please blow up this chick’s spot when you tell her she’s not getting the job. PLEASE.

    Also – I am sure you’ll find someone who meets your criteria, and take wonderful care of Anders. Hopefully, in the next what, 48 hours?

  • Holly

    November 26, 2006 at 10:25 am

    No way! Thank the almighty fantastic intuition of being a mother, women & Whoorl!

  • Jennifer

    November 26, 2006 at 10:53 am

    Silly Nanny! So glad you found the perfect one. I’m exhausted just reading about the Nanny search. Still shocked that someone who tried to get the job was so blatantly stupid.

  • Jora

    November 26, 2006 at 11:23 am

    congratulations on finding a wonderful nanny. your hard, hard work obviously paid off!

  • jonniker

    November 26, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    Oh my God. Seriously? That’s horrific, just HORRIFIC. My Space! Swinging! Wet hair! The LIST JUST GOES ON AND ON.

  • Maliavale

    November 26, 2006 at 12:09 pm

    That list could also be entitled 10 Reasons I Hate People.

    Hurrah for finding someone, however!

  • Melanie

    November 26, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    De-Lurking to say, I LOVE THIS POST!!!
    Thanks for the great read, I wish you well with your chosen nanny,she has big shoes to fill!

  • irish mistery

    November 26, 2006 at 12:24 pm

    Congrats on finding the best Nanny! Can’t believe there’s people out there with all the ‘nanny offending’ behaviours you’ve listed!

  • Alex

    November 26, 2006 at 12:28 pm

    Some people are so sketchy. Glad you found a good nanny!!

  • rebecca

    November 26, 2006 at 12:41 pm

    DUDE. And OMG, just under the wire!

  • Anne Glamore

    November 26, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    That’s so awful it’s fabulous. I mean, you’ll be telling THIS story forever.

  • BeachMama

    November 26, 2006 at 1:22 pm


    Happy to hear that despite all the other quacks out there, you were able to find one you like. Hope the transition goes smoothly.

  • Tricia

    November 26, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    I love to see when paranoia pays off. Congrats on intuition and careful suspicion.

  • Leanna

    November 26, 2006 at 6:44 pm

    Congrats on the Nanny find!

  • abbersnail

    November 26, 2006 at 7:21 pm

    Um… ew. Just ew. Who ARE these people?

  • metalia

    November 26, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    Oh my lord! That’s insane, and appalling. Congrats on finding a good nanny, though!

    In light of the bad one’s flaws, though (and there are clearly many), maybe consider posting her on isawyournanny.blogspot.com? Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like, and it is kind of crazy, but you may spare some nearby mom who lacks you instincts, and mad detective skillz :)

  • Veronique

    November 26, 2006 at 8:03 pm

    And she actually wanted to be a nanny??!?

    I’m glad you found a great one in the end :) Congrats

  • Elizabeth

    November 26, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    yaayyy.. I’m so glad that you have found someone that you are happy with.

  • nabbalicious

    November 26, 2006 at 9:46 pm

    DUDE! What is the matter with people?

    And your instincts are the shit. Good detective work!

  • Heather

    November 27, 2006 at 5:22 am

    Congrats on the Nanny! Hope it all works out for you.

  • Jessie

    November 27, 2006 at 6:09 am

    Those are good tips ;) Really, whouldn’t you think people would know better? Glad you found someone who was much brighter than the example above.

  • Jecca

    November 27, 2006 at 10:59 am

    Excellent sleuthing, and hooray for finding someone who is not any of these things! (And please, please tell me that you told her all this stuff — that she knows just how busted she is.)

  • ms. sizzle

    November 27, 2006 at 1:01 pm

    good god! no wonder you were so good at that on line detective game. ;) my supervisor at my new job checked out candidates on my space. she weeded out some anarchists. ha. that’s good thinking whoorl. you’re one smart cookie. anders is so lucky!

  • Sarcomical

    November 27, 2006 at 2:11 pm


    truly disturbing.

  • Darren

    November 27, 2006 at 7:33 am

    Was this all from the same person? Good lord!

    Congrats on finding a nanny, though. That must have been nerve-racking!

  • Darren

    November 27, 2006 at 7:34 am

    Was this all from the same person? Good lord!

    Congrats on finding a nanny, though. That must have been nerve-racking!

  • Wacky Mommy

    November 27, 2006 at 3:08 pm

    Rock on!

  • chirky

    November 27, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    GAH, I am so glad you found someone, because Holy Mother of Moses, that list was gruesome. And, I’m imagining it was offenses committed by ONE PERSON. Yes?

  • amy

    November 27, 2006 at 4:27 pm

    i am so glad you found someone to take care of him. and your first day back went well!

  • Alicat

    November 27, 2006 at 4:55 pm

    eeek! that is some low-down dirty shit she tried to pull (the bad nanny, that is).

  • undercover celebrity

    November 27, 2006 at 10:00 am

    that is simultaneously HILARIOUS and TERRIFYING!


  • Lin

    November 27, 2006 at 5:41 pm

    Well done, Whoorl…not an easy time for you emotionally, I’m sure, But I’ll bet having this great gal with your boy made your leave-taking a little easier this morning. Good luck with it all.

  • kris

    November 27, 2006 at 8:46 pm

    I’m not sure why I (and my Pinot) have not received your nanny-hiring call. I am still at home waiting . . .

    (Your mega hotpot recipe is on its way, btw . . .)