Let me tell you, being jolted awake from a fitful slumber by a three-year-old screaming “BULLDOZER!” at 3am is HILARIOUS.

(Last night it was “bulldozer.” The night before was “MONSTER TRUUUUUUUCK!” At least we are consistent with the vehicular theme.)

Although, I shouldn’t really call it a “fitful” slumber, given my ridiculous stress level has shot me into teeth-grinding stardom, sometimes actually waking myself up from biting a fleshy hunk out of my inner cheek.

So! We are trying our hardest to find a new home in the shortest amount of time possible, which means an abundance of MLS searches and an abundance of realtors showing me rentals that make me want to puke. I don’t understand…I told you that carpet was a deal-breaker, yet here we are, standing in a fully carpeted home that looks like it was last replaced during the Nixon era AND you’re telling me it’s $3200 a month.

Once again, HILARITY ENSUES!

Oh! Also! My late-blooming belly has finally decided to make an appearance at 25 weeks, thus stretching my stomach skin to the point of resembling a pomegranate-colored soccer ball. It’s a tad itchy, folks.

I was pondering all of these lovely tidbits this morning while making my new 30-minute commute to Wito’s preschool, when I remembered that I needed to return a Lands’ End shirt to my local Sears. (Did you know that you could return Lands’ End merchandise bought online to your local Sears? More importantly, did you know that regular-sized Lands’ End shirts make for great maternity wear for those on the petite-bellied side? The things you learn over here at whoorl.com, I tell ya.)

For instance:

Women’s Short Sleeve Shirred Scoopneck Top, $19.50

See! Blousy! Perfect for little baby bellies! Pair this cutie with distressed boyfriend jeans and flats and you’re set for a day of errands! This top was previously available in many colors, one of which I didn’t prefer, hence the return to my local Sears store. DISCLAIMER: I’m not usually a Sears shopper and I don’t want to make assumptions about any other Sears store around the country, but you guys.

This particular store is a Haus o’ Depression. Upon crossing the street to enter the store, the inner lights were so dim, I thought it had gone out of business completely. However, I pulled on the door and LO, it was open. Sad sad sadness. Sad lighting, sad merchandise, sad employees, sad shoppers. Really sad. Why so melancholy, people? Have you been displaced due to excessive levels of mold too? Does your belly really really itch? Let’s hug it out.

I walked out of that store in one of the best moods I’ve experienced in several weeks because you all, things could be worse. I could be itchy-skinned, sleep-deprived, cheek-chewed, homeless AND working at that Sears. Things are looking up already.

*Can you imagine how my cousin feels? I’m sure he’s beyond THRILLED to have the Whoorl family around every evening when he returns from work. Jenga, anyone?

This photo is a perfect capture of the majority of my past week. Unfortunately, after a full investigation, our new home is riddled with mold and therefore, unlivable for our standards.

We are currently staying 30 minutes south of our old neighborhood with my cousin who has generously opened his home to our family, and my days have consisted of multiple trips back and forth between towns in an attempt to keep Wito’s school and playdate schedule intact. My car and I have become quite close.

Newsflash. Not having a home is the pits. I miss my bed, I miss my routine, I miss my neighborhood and I miss not feeling completely reliant on others for a roof over my head.

Hopefully we will find a new and wonderful home very soon. Onward ho!

2. The fact that we all fell ill during Wito’s week off from preschool makes me want to cry, considering I was truly looking forward to the playdates we had scheduled for the week. For instance, tomorrow’s playdate will be held at my friend’s pizza parlor. Good friends, fun kids and ALL YOU CAN EAT FREE PIZZA. Do you realize how wonderful that 2-3 hours would have been for this here pregnant lady? DO YOU?

3. Speaking of being pregnant, I am 21 weeks as of last weekend. Halfway there, my friends, and about 2 photos to show for it. (The second one sure gets the shaft, don’t they?)  Here I am this morning in my (rapidly becoming too snug) Andrew Bird tee.

Interesting how I choose to take a photo of myself on the day that I feel like death. Revel in my natural beauty, folks! REVEL.

4. Many updates are currently going on at the house, and I promise to post some photos in the near future. It’s just that I’m more of a Before/After Photo kind of girl, opposed to a Check Out The Progress We Are Making Today gal. Although, there may or may not be a lovely man named Carlos painting our downstairs powder room navy as I type this.

5. Hell. While I’m randomly busting out my iPhone camera, here’s a shot of my favorite room in the house. Our upstairs loft, aptly named The Treehouse. I could sit here all day.

6. Finally, prepare for utter sweetness. We are big fans of The Sound of Music over here, and my nighttime duties usually consist of a four-song medley of sorts for Wito after D reads his bedtime story. (“Sixteen Going on Seventeen,” “Edelweiss,” “Doe Re Mi” and “My Favorite Things,” in case the suspense is absolutely killing you…)

Yesterday afternoon, Wito was feeling pretty crummy so he decided he wanted to sing “My Favorite Things” in hopes of feeling better. I think it may have helped a tiny bit. (Or maybe it was the ice cream.)

My Favorite Things from whoorl on Vimeo.

This is probably the most organized room in the house as of 2:46pm PST.

(Long ass sigh.)

2. Since I will undoubtedly be huffing cardboard for the remainder of the week, please enjoy a new video series entitled Gone Style’s Five Minute Makeover. (Then you can explain to me how I got so lucky as to work with Rebecca Woolf and Josie Maran because, well, DUDE.)

The perpetrator unloading the third of eleventy million cartloads.