I’m leaving in one hour- heading to Oklahoma for the holidays with Wito by MYSELF. (D is meeting us later.)

I wrote this yesterday and learned lots of good tips.

The one thing I forgot, though? TO CHARGE THE FUCKING DVD BATTERY.

Commence hysterical laughing/crying hybrid.


Emails, Scheeemails


It has come to my attention that my snot-nosed punk email address has left my cheese out in the wind. If you have sent me an email during the past 3 days regarding Hair Thursdays, life in general or how much you adore me, I haven’t received it. (Which is truly a shame. Especially if you wanted to tell me how I’ve made the world a better place.)

However, if you sent me a very mean email, I somehow DID receive those. No need to send again! Thanks!

As for Hair Thursday submissions, some people have voiced concern about being the “MIA participants” I mentioned last week. Right now, the participants being featured are people who sent their initial email last August. If you have sent me information in the past four months, don’t worry, I have it. Your time has not come. (Although I accept bribes in the form of cold, hard cash.)

Currently, new submissions are slated for Fall 2008.

As for my asshole email problem, all pressing issues should be sent to whoorlATgmailDOTcom for the time being.

And just in case you were wondering:



Have a great weekend!


Monitoring The Situation


First off, are the “clever” entry titles really necessary?

Let’s see, I’m going to write about video monitors, so let’s name it, hmmm, MONITORING THE SITUATION! Yes, God, YES! I am fucking BRILLIANT. 2008 Blogger’s Choice Award, here I come.

16 months into this parenting gig, we JUST purchased a monitor for Wito.

You already know where this is going, don’t you? Oh, C’MON. Not every little thing written on this website has to do with my obsessive-compulsive issues.

Except. That it does. Peace be with you.

You see, we don’t need a monitor. We live in a 1950’s bungalow, people. Our bedrooms share a wall, which has a built-in floor furnace that heats both of the bedrooms. In other words, the only object dividing us from Wito is a contraption of heavy metal grating. We can hear everything. More specifically, I can hear everything. Rustling? Yes. Heavy breathing? Yes. Wito’s brain transitioning sleep cycles? I do believe so.

However, during the past two months, we have been wading in teething territory, or what I would like to call “Operation Holy Molars”.

Once again! Brilliant AND witty! Vote here! *pumping fists in air*

These son-of-a-bitch molars have caused some erratic night waking, but it’s difficult for us to assess the son-of-a-bitchdom because Wito’s crib sits right next the door. If we open that door, it’s all over. But what if the random moaning signals pain? What if his foot is stuck in the crib railing? What if some satanic looking Santa has crept into his room and is stab, stab, stabbing him?

The questions. My God, the questions.

Long story short. We bought a video monitor. And it rocks.

What’s Wito doing right now, you ask?


Why, he’s taking a nap! Thanks for asking.

What about now?


Oh, yes. Still sleeping.

5 minutes later?


Sawing logs, that kid.







This can’t possibly bode well for me.


Fevers and Hair


Hey! Guess where I was yesterday afternoon? No, really! Take a guess!

Why, YES! I was at the pediatrician’s office! With Wito! Who had a fever of 102.7!

(insert hysterically maniacal laughter)

Ha. Ha. Er, ahem. How did THAT happen, you ask?

Let’s see:

Friday – Pediatrician’s office
Monday – Pediatric Neurologist’s office
Tuesday – Neuro Ophthalmologist’s office

Would you care to wager on how Wito came down with a fever? Could it possibly be the germy germs he’s been making out with for the past 5 days in said offices?

So, yes. We completed our 4th appointment in 6 days, as of late yesterday afternoon. Someone give this handsome toddler and his fair-haired mama a prize, will ya?

To top it off, I just can’t stop my tremendous feelings of guilt and worry.

No, not about Wito…about YOU PEOPLE!

I noticed this incoming link to my site, read it and tada, now feel like a Big Let Down Asshole. Did the lovely Alice make any sort of insinuation that I was a BLDA? Of course not! It’s my self-imposed guilt, people!

So, here’s the thing. I wasn’t planning on doing a Hair Thursday during the week of Christmas, two potential participants are MIA, so that leaves 4 lovely ladies who were supposed to be part of Hair Thursday 2007: The Frosh Year.

These four ladies got all of their information and photos in on time, so who am I to flake out on them? (Mom! Are you reading this? I can’t deal with guilt! I’ll do anything to make people happy! I AM EXACTLY LIKE YOU.)

So. Alice, Dani, Caroline R. and Stephanie B. – COME ON DOWN!

Okay, not this very minute, but I promise I will do a 4-participant Hair Thursday once I’m back in Oklahoma, where Wito will be lovingly whisked off by my family while I’m carelessly ignored by everyone. (Just kidding, mom! Don’t cry! Although, baking me a carrot cake might help with the guilt.)

December 27th*, yo. Be there or be square, bitches.

*updated due to ballyhoo