Sucks donkey balls.


Saddy Sad


Well, hello there. Wito and I would like to make it known that we miss Lini and Bishop Stu Tu.

Please come back! I have Coca Cola and Fritos! And Rotel dip!

To keep my mind off the fact that my family is 2 million miles away, I’ve made a new hair tutorial that I will be debuting on Thursday. The Whoorl Blowdrying Tutorial, and good Lord, it is awful. So incredibly awful and lame.

It involves stupid photos and a horrific video because you can’t really show the blowdrying motion with a photograph. Yeah, you heard me, a snippet of a video of me blowdrying my hair. SERIOUSLY DUDE, WHO GIVES A SHIT.

(Hey! To the 5 people who requested a blowdrying tutorial! I’m here for you, man.)


hair thursday makeover 5


Holy crap, you guys. Free ice cream for everyone!

Um, not really.

I was planning to bust out an ice cream pie chart whoorl-style, but promptly remembered it was Wednesday. As in the day before Thursday, and holy hell I need to finish Hair Thursday pronto. Another day, I suppose.

This Hair Thursday is a little different. Our first participant will not be receiving a whoorl makeover.

Meet Hala.


Have you ever heard the term “fishing”? As in fishing for compliments?

Hala is fishing. Listen honey, if your hair is shinier than mine, you ain’t getting no help from whoorl.


I kid, I kid. Hala’s a doll! (And a fellow SoCal mama!)

I totally understand where Hala was coming from when she sent her submission. She was just sick of her hair. Her beautiful, chocolate, shiny, perfect hair. She wanted something new. Hey, we all feel that way now and again. In fact, just this morning I nearly chopped my bangs to the scalp.

(Actually, I did cut my bangs clear to the scalp as a child in a overly dramatic attempt to piss my parents off. Unfortunately, their reaction was of hysterical laughter. Not really what I was striving for. I had to wear a headband right at my hairline for like, 3 months. Awesome.)

You know what I love most about Hala? A couple of weeks after her initial submission, she sent me another email stating that she decided to give the whoorl curling iron trick a spin. She even admitted to not thinking it would work before trying it out.

And look at the result.


The shine! The movement! The volume! Beautiful, right?

Do you SEE where I’m going with this? Hair Thursday Rule #2. Good hair requires effort. Say it with me, GOOD HAIR REQUIRES EFFORT.

I can honestly say that I wouldn’t want to see any other hairstyle on Hala. She looks fabulous!

*stepping down from soapbox*

Our next participant is Melanie.


Melanie’s hair:

A little bit of “wave” from cowlicks
Never colored
Perms her hair
Doesn’t use any styling tools
Uses product, including hair paste for definition
Loves short hair because of the ease

In Melanie’s email, she mentioned she might be rockin’ a little mullet. Yes, yes. I’m seeing some mullet action here.

Let me preface this entry by stating my feelings towards hairstyles with shorter sides and longer backs. I’m not a fan. I know, there are plenty of women who enjoy this hairstyle. Look at Meg Ryan! Lisa Rinna!


Even Cate Blanchett has been wearing the style. I wish I could be more open-minded about the modified mullet, but I just can’t. Like I said, I am made of asshole. Anti-mullet asshole. So what should we do?


Melanie likes short hair, right? Well, let’s chop off the back! How easy would this style be? It’s so fun and fresh, plus totally stylish. Since Melanie already uses hair paste, she wouldn’t need to deal with any new products. Plus, she could stop perming her hair. The paste would give her all the definition she needs.

I emailed Melanie yesterday to ask about her current length and she mentioned that her sides had grown to approximately chin level. If that’s the case, she could also take off the back and go for a bob. Option #2 shows a great shaggy bob where the front is still a little bit shorter than the back, but not to the point where it is harsh. The razored ends of this hairstyle make it easy to add shape to the hair and create a fun flicked-out finish that would look great on Melanie.

What do you all think?


The Great Mofo Delurk!


It’s here! The Great Mofo Delurk!

The day has come, my friends. It’s time to make your voice (yes, you! Over there!) known to your kind host.

Far be it for me to leave you hanging out there without something to say, so tell me. The ice cream truck has pulled up outside your residence, which treat would you go for?


1) Fudgsicle Bar

2) Bullet Firecracker Pop

3) Choco Taco

4) Vanilla Ice Cream Bar

5) Rainbow Sherbet Push Pop

6) Giant Ice Cream Sandwich

7) Nutty Buddy Sundae Cone

8) Creamsicle Bar

9) Banana Chocolate Bullet Pop

10) Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich

11) Lemon Slush

12) Rainbow Snow Cone

9 times out of 10, this girl would go for the Nutty Buddy Sundae Cone. Okay, now you!