It Pays To Wear Cute Panties – Part Two

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My ass hurts. Enjoy your day.



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It Pays To Wear Cute Panties

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For when you least expect it, you’ll be dropping trou for a male nurse who bears an uncanny resemblance to Tim Riggins.

And as he carefully pulls down said panties to administer a booster shot in your upper bum, you’ll thank the heavens for tetanus immunizations.



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It’s Here! IT’S HERE!

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I’ve been waiting and waiting and WAITING (months, I say!) for the brand spankin’ newly-released book of my very favorite artist’s illustrations. And it’s HERE!

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It doesn’t disappoint, either. It’s huge! Do you see that nickel to the left? HUGE, I tell you!

Look at it open.

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That’s four full-sized water bottles! (My first measuring attempt was with steak knives. Not very child-friendly, mi amigos.)

This is the greatest day ever. I feel like Ralphie from A Christmas Story.

If you’ll excuse me, I think I shall spend some quality time with my sweet Charley Harper.



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The Birthday Boy

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Wito experienced a 5-day birthday bonanza complete with 2 parties and grandparental coddling beyond belief. The child was spoiled ROTTEN- trust me, I’m still paying for it 6 days later.

Our typical day since we’ve been back home:

“Mamamamammaaaaa, mamamamaamaa. MAMAAMAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA.”

He wants to be picked up, he wants down, no wait, he wants up, DAMMIT, HE WANTS DOWN. GAH. WHY CAN’T YOU READ MY MIND, WOMAN?

“Mamamamamaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

Thanks, mom and dad. Really.

I guess I’ll let them off the hook considering they hosted the greatest 1st birthday bash ever. Great food, people, and the Trinity of Sweets – cake, cupcakes AND cookies. Oh, and wine. LOTS of wine – 6 hours of wine consumption, to be exact.

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First birthday parties usually don’t involve a terribly high level of alcohol consumption, but my parents were also hosting Blogher 2.0, Oklahoma-Style. I can’t tell you how surreal it was to open my parents’ front door and see Heather, Susan and Shana looking back at me. (Well, not so much Shana Banana. We’ve had our fair share of Okie vino.) All three were just lovely, especially standing in the midst of many, many strangers. I’m sure my mother put Heather at ease when she exclaimed, “Of course I know you! You’re from the Dunkin’ Donuts video!” However, the deal was sealed when they kept completely straight faces as I explained to my inlaws how we all met at a scrapbooking convention in Reno. It was true love from that point on.

The four of us laughed and sipped (okay, more like gulped) wine long after the last birthday guests trickled out of the door. 6 hours later, and less than 9 hours until Heather’s flight, we said our goodbyes. Such fun, those ladies!

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Let’s get back to the man at hand, shall we? He had so much fun seeing all of his relatives and Okie friends. The best part was his birthday cake celebration – he just sat there staring at it for several minutes until my sister coaxed him into licking a little bit of icing. Then, it was ON. The boy ingested sinful amounts of frosting, but promptly gagged (in an extremely dramatic fashion, imagine that) when he tasted the actual chocolate cake. We’ll have to discuss that later, Wito.

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I am still shocked that he didn’t experience much of a sugar high or have tummy troubles. What a little man.

A couple of days later, my aunts hosted a Sip-n-See party for 70 of my mother’s closest friends. These 2 photos tell the story better than I ever could.

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Pssst. See those ladies over there? They are trying to hug me. They sure smell nice, but don’t they know I need my space? If you need me, I’ll be trying to escape out the window.

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Dear God, when will this be OVER? I’M NOT A PUPPET, PEOPLE.

All in all, we had such a great time with all of our friends and family in Oklahoma. It’s hard to believe that Wito has graced us with his presence for an entire year. I truly can’t wait for all of the adventures to come.

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You’ve come a long way, Wito. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Oh, and I will never tire of hearing you say, “Mamamama”. Even if it is the 412th time that day.



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