Why, Jell-O Pudding Pops? Why?

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As I sat down yesterday afternoon, ready to crank out a post, I made the mistake of finding this piece from yesterday’s New York Times. Bye bye, Monday afternoon. Those comments sucked me in and didn’t let me go until late in the evening – evident from my healthy dinner of smokehouse almonds and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

It’s just that, Oh My God, where did all of my favorites go? Jell-O Pudding Pops – no longer. (What up, Mr. Cosby?!) The original Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. The Motorola StarTac phone. Those little triangular side-vent windows in cars, allowing the perfect amount of breeze to circulate without messing up the hair! Gone! Like the Wind!

If you take the time to read through the thousands of comments, you’ll notice that the Honda CRX is greatly missed. I had no idea it was such a reliable, yet zippy, little car. I do know my high school Honda Prelude (with the cute flip-up headlights) was one of my favorites. Ahh, the good old days.

However, things took a turn for the worse. My sweet nostalgia turned into festering anger. What do you mean no more Tato Skins?! I LOVED those chips! Taco Bell-flavored Doritos? And Alphabits cereal?! HOW AM I GOING TO TEACH WITO THE ALPHABET?!

*googling Alphabits cereal*

Oh, I see. The commenters must have been mistaken. Feeling better.

Then, I saw another comment that shook me to the very core. Planters Cheez Balls. Oh, that can’t be…could it? No more Planters Cheez Balls?! In the round tin? No other puffed cheese product compares!

*googling Planters Cheez Balls*

It’s true. It’s true. You can’t even find them on eBay. (Not that I tried. Um, or anything.)

OHMYGODICAN’TLIVEWITHOUTTHECHEEZBALLGOODNESSICAN’TBREATHENOREALLYPANICKY PANICKYHELPSOSHELPSOS.

It’s a very sad day in the Whoorl household. Now, if we could have a moment of silence for my beloved Planters Cheez Balls.



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New Hair Product Alert

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It’s really pathetic how I could talk about products all day long. People, I am a Power Consumer.

Yesterday, my hair stylist introduced me to Kerastase’s new curly hair products. Now, I’ve read about Kerastase eleventy million times, but even I, the Power Consumer, refuse to pay $60.00 for shampoo and conditioner. She used the entire line on my hair yesterday, including the Oleo-Curl Definition Cream, and good Lord, my curls looked fabulous. Soft, bouncy and perfectly defined. She used a diffuser, but some of the other stylists told me it works just as well when air-drying (which is what this girl likes to hear).

I passed on the shampoo and conditioner, but caved on the definition cream. The smell alone sends me to the most happy place ever. I think you curly girls should try it.

All I know is that my curling iron is silently weeping in the drawer. It doesn’t look like he will see the daylight for many moons to come.

UPDATE: Okay, here’s a photo. My hair isn’t completely dry yet, but you get the picture. All I did was towel-dry, apply a quarter-sized dollop of the definition cream and air-dry. No tools involved.



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The Final Verdict

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Hello. Welcome to my running blog.

WAIT, come back! I swear, this is the last of the running gear entries, but I needed to divulge my final and SHOCKING opinion.

I, Sarah of Whoorl, am officially in love with all of my new road-tested (not just trotting-the-sidewalk-with-wine-tested!) running gear.

1. Adidas Response Baggy Short – I love these shorts. LOVE. I ran in both these and the Nike Tempo shorts and for me, the Adidas worked the best. The 4-inch inseam (opposed to the Nike 3-inch) made all of the difference. They are paper-thin, don’t ride up and keep my thighs completely cool the entire time. I am now the proud owner of several pairs.

2. Lucy Energy Sport Bra – The best part about this sport bra? It doesn’t cut off the circulation to my armpits – meaning, no armpit fat bubbling over the edges of the bra. Hallelujah. Oh, and they are on sale RIGHT NOW online for $10.00. TEN DOLLARS, PEOPLE. Get ‘em while you can.

3. NikeSportsTee Tank – These have the Nike Dri-FIT technology, so they keep you cool and happy. Plus, I love the colors.

And finally, the skirts. I wanted to love the skirts, y’all. However, I am very sorry to say that the skirts were shipped right back their maker. Personally, I am not a fan for a couple of reasons. For me, the material was too thick. It felt very similar to the sweaty capri pants that started this whole running gear search in the first place. There just isn’t any comparison to the light-weight papery feel of the shorts. Also, the skirt’s waistband sat much higher on my waist than the shorts, and when I attempted to pull it down, it would just ride back up. The compression shorts were visible below the skirt, too. All in all, no. Just no- at least, not for ME. I’m sure the skirts look fabulous on YOU. *kisses*

Now, I’m off to run on a treadmill while running shoe experts analyze my gait and try to help me understand why my right ankle feels like it will break off at any second. Please Jebus, don’t let me trip.



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The Ongoing Quest

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Thanks to you, I have in my possession many shorts of the running variety. (I’m definitely intrigued by the running skirts, I just feel the need to do a little more research before purchasing.) I ordered all of the shorts online, stemming from my inability to deal with athletic store dressing rooms due to imminent toe fungi lurking in the carpet fibers. We ARE talking about people of the athletic persuasion. (Did I mention I sold Lamisil for several years? I have seen some of the funkiest toes in the history of man, trust me. One elderly lady had a toe nail that formed a yellow “ram’s horn”, which curled in a counter-clockwise manner, piercing the skin on the left side of her big toe. I witnessed this directly after a lunch from Panera, and needless to say, it is no longer a dining option.)

Friday night, I conducted a fashion show of sorts for my husband while drinking a lovely 2003 Malbec. Here are my preliminary findings for a couple of favorites. The Adidas Response Baggy Short was a great recommendation, although I ordered the wrong size. They were a little too baggy, but the other size should be here today. I really like the length (4 inches) and the leg room. They feel more like soccer shorts than running shorts, which is a good thing.

The shorts I really want to love are the Nike Tempo Track Shorts. Such fun colors- which, duh, is the pinnacle of importance! I wisely ordered two sizes, but had trouble deciding which one technically fit. Now, these shorts don’t mess around. They have a 3-inch inseam, and look like serious bad ass running shorts (Lawyerish, you were so right). D and I decided the smaller size (what the Nike size chart recommended) are most likely the correct fit, but GOOD LORD, they are short. I find myself blushing and tugging at them while alone in my own home. On a positive note, just wearing them around the house should burn extra calories, seeing that sitting and staring at my entire thigh from knee to hip smashed against a chair is NOT an option.

After my 2nd or 3rd glass of wine, we conducted a performance test specifically targeting the “ride-up” issue, which consisted of me trotting barefoot up and down my sidewalk while holding my wine glass. I’m sure the neighbors enjoyed that show. Interestingly enough, the larger sizes definitely rode up my inner thighs, prompting me to wonder if I’ve been wearing the wrong size shorts all along. It’s almost like the extra fabric bubbles up, causing the crappy ride-up.

For the immediate time-being, I think Adidas will be my staple, but the Nike shorts will be my goal. When I’m feeling the burn and wanting to slow down, I’ll just envision myself in my two-tone pink Nikes with smooth and slender thighs hauling ass around town. That should keep me truckin’.



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