It’s The Truth And You Know It


So You Think You Can Dance is the most riveting television program in the history of time.

There. I said it.

I said it so you don’t have to, people.

Wait. Why, you ask? Oh please, let me enlighten you.

1. Cat Deeley has great hair.

2. Mary Murphy is totally Paula Abdul’s older, more responsible sister. She’s the one trying to get little Paula off the druggos and it’s all about the positive reinforcement. Both women are carriers of the B463 (unnecessary bouts of waterworks) and the D387 (getting their middle-age groove on) genes. They both make no sense, need serious cosmetic intervention and use words that are way too young for them. Were his moves really “wicked”, Mary? Because, um, last time I checked, you were the ballroom dancer judge. The show already has a hip-hop judge, and I don’t think he’s appreciating you getting all up in his shiznit, yo.

Most importantly, how does Ms. Murphy have an overbite and an underbite at the same time? Is that anatomically possible?

3. I am so pleasantly baffled by the Benji family. Benji, Benji’s sister, Benji’s cousin Heidi…what is going on in this troupe? They are unbelievable.

4. Travis from Season 2. Travis, I’ll drop everything for you, regardless if your MySpace profile name happens to be “hardassbitch“.

5. The interesting apparel choices by the ladies. Several times, I’ve found myself covering one eye, fully confident that the tiny piece of spandex covering their mons pubis is going to roll downward to the knee area, thus displaying dancer coochie to all of America.

6. Many more reasons, but it’s starting RIGHT. NOW.

*The opinions expressed herein are those of Whoorl, proud owner of the Center Stage DVD.


Tea Party Retaliation


Hey, anybody got any snacks?


No? No snacks? Oh well, this ball will do.


BB: There he goes with the eating again. Now’s the perfect time…


BB: Didn’t like my tea party, did ya now?! You mess with the bull, ya get the horns, bucko!

Wito: (muffled) Heeellllllpppppppp….


BB: Just kidding, mom! Just giving him a hug!

(That’s what they think. Suckas.)


Wito: Little does she know, I found her SNACKS. Victory is mine!


Hope everyone had a great extended weekend. We did!


p.s – 6,000 views? Y’all can stop watching the video now.

Seriously. Paranoia Self Destroya.


The Differences Between Boys and Girls


The Differences Between Boys and Girls from whoorl on Vimeo.

I’m not so sure Wito will receive another tea party invite from Baby Bug.

Can we discuss his size? 9 months old, people. I’m frightened.


This Post Has No Direction Whatsoever


A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about Neil from Citizen of the Month. It was relatively benign- we were at some writer’s retreat and he wouldn’t stop talking to Sophia on the phone. I emailed the next morning to tell him, not that this information was earth-shattering or remotely original, but I just thought he should know that he had invaded a random blogger’s psyche.

Yesterday morning, I noticed on his blog that I appeared in his dream. I only had a cameo appearance, apparently brushing my hair. How fitting.

Well, guess who I had a dream about last night? Neilochka. Again! What is going on? This one was much more bizarre- he lived in a house on a clear lake over an early 20th century town. You could look into the water and see all of the old buildings and railroad tracks covered with algae (obviously the underwater station on Lost had some sort of impact).

We then had a daiquiri-drinking contest and Amanda from Kicky Boots won. She kicked some serious ass.

Anyway, tag-team dreaming is happening over here. Not THAT kind of tag-teaming- will you get your mind out of the gutter, please? I wonder if Neil will have a dream about me tonight – surely, there must be a Guinness World Record category for this.

In other news, So You Think You Can Dance is back for the 3rd season, which makes me clasp my hands and squeeeeee with utter delight. Unfortunately, I missed about 30 minutes of last night’s episode when I was accosted by a sugar-coated spider. Huh?

I am planning on making Ree’s Best Chocolate Sheet Cake Ever today, and was measuring the remaining powdered sugar last night to make sure I had enough. As I poured the powdered sugar into the measuring cup, I thought I noticed something black. I shimmied the sugar around, looked into the cup and didn’t see anything. I figured I was crazy or there was a dead flour bug (GROSS) in there, so I practically STUCK my face in measuring cup, shimmied again, and the fastest fucking spider I’ve ever seen scurried up out of the sugar mound and nearly killed me. It was ANGRY! And provoked by my shimmying! Did I mention ANGRY!? Oh, and it was white, given the sugar and everything. I dropped the measuring cup, it scurried behind the stove, and now I have a freaky white spider living in my kitchen.

I hate spiders. Especially the large ones living in my house behind my stove. Anyway, I couldn’t watch the show because I was blindly spraying non-toxic kitchen cleaner behind the stove, hoping the moisture would adhere to the sugar on the perpetrator’s legs, thus rendering it paralyzed.

I’m pretty sure it did not work, given the strange pain in my lower throat I woke up with this morning, obviously from the sugar spider climbing into my mouth while I was sleeping and vengefully biting the inside of my throat. Hence the weird dreams.

Welcome to my brain.