Shiny Hair!

Shiny Brunettes, Blonds and Redheads Unite!

As I sit here in Oklahoma, my father tells me there are only two types of bad hair. Thin and Curly. I ask him about my curls and he responds that mine is WAVY. Totally different, duh. He would also like to point out that he is referring to Three Stooges corkscrew curly and please refrain from the hate mail. Thank you for your time.

I am continuing with the lists due to your emails, but really because I’m hanging out with my parents and don’t want to focus on writing an entry. So let’s get to it.

Whoorl’s Greatest Hair Products:

1. Back to Basics Pomegranate Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner: This shampoo and conditioner rocks. Smells great, but not too much, makes my hair shiny and purdy. It’s the only shampoo that I buy in the jumbo bottles because it’s That. Good. Bye the way, ULTA has the big bottles on sale right now for $12.49 (about 1/2 off). Run, don’t walk.

2. Aveda Be Curly: I have wavy hair and let it air dry 80% of the time. This is very lightweight, keeps my hair from looking frizzy and smells nice.

3. Pureology Real Curl: Same as above. I just like to mix it up once in awhile. I wouldn’t want my hair to get bored and become a rebellious teenager.

4. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum: When I dry my hair straight, this is a lifesaver. I swear it cuts my drying time in half and makes my hair incredibly shiny. And you only have to use a tiny bit- I think my bottle could last 5 years. After you’re finished drying, just rub the tiniest amount between your palms and coat the shaft. Wait…that didn’t translate well on the page. Hair shaft people! HAIR shaft.

5. Biosilk Hair Therapy: One word. Shiny. But don’t let it tip over in your bathroom cabinet and spill all over your cotton balls, razors and tampons. Trust me.

Alright, you know the drill. Get to it.

While We’re On The Subject…

Let’s talk about concealer, foundation and SPF.

First off, the lip gloss recommendations were out of control. Out of control and totally kick ass. I love that we can all be so unbelievably shallow together. Shallow Lips Unite! I’ve received so many emails from you all about your new purchases and frankly, I have no idea how you made your decisions. Every attempt at sorting through the comments leaves me cross-eyed and drooling. I’ve decided I am momentarily way too caught up in lip gloss, so let’s get caught up in something new.

Shallow Faces Unite!

Ever since Wito came along, my skin has not been looking so hot. I’m a little red and blotchy, ladies. On most days, I don’t wear any makeup (except gloss or balm, of course!), but on the days I am out and about, I’d like a light and natural (SHEER) way to even out my skin tone. I currently use Bobbi Brown Foundation stick for my eye area and I just bought her compact foundation to use (VERY sparingly) to even out my skin.

I like it. I guess. I don’t know. This shit confuses me.

Here are my questions:

1) What SPF products do you use on a daily basis? Do you use a moisturizer with SPF included? Or do you use a moisturizer and a SPF product?

2) Are there any sheer foundation products/powders that you really love?

Criteria (get ready):

1. Right now, I am using Olay Complete SPF 15 moisturizer. It seems to work fairly well with my sensitive complexion, although I would like to find something with higher SPF in it. I am willing to spend more, but I always find myself happier with drugstore brands when it comes to moisturizers.
1. I do not like tinted moisturizers (drugstore OR fancy pants). Tried them all, hate them all.
2. Not a fan of Bare Escentuals. It makes my face way too shimmery/shiny/weird.
3. I do not want to use a brush to apply concealer. It needs to be in a tube or a stick or something.
4. Actually, I don’t want to use a brush for any liquid product. Fingers are good.
5. I am intrigued by powders. I’m happy to use a brush for powder, and I would really like to find a powder that gives coverage without looking all dry and seeping into creases.
6. Yes, a perfect powder would be great.

Basically, I want my skin to look fantastic with no effort. FINE, maybe a little effort.

What I DON’T want are steps. Swirl this, buff that, blah blah blah. I want easy breezy 1-minute application.

God, I’m fucking picky. How do you deal with me?

The Lip Gloss List

One of the list suggestions in yesterday’s comments (Hi Bearca!) was my all-time favorite lip glosses. And if you know me at all, you know I am all sorts of serious when it comes to this subject. I have a small army of glosses scattered around the house. How could I possibly downgrade such an important list to the comments section?!

And really, why talk about parenting issues, global warming or the 2008 elections (Barack! I was in LA in spirit!) when you can talk about LIP GLOSS? On this here blog! Let’s get to it!

Disclaimer: Whoorl has dark hair, dark eyes and fair skin. Whoorl does not guarantee lip gloss compatibility with different skin tones. Failure to recognize this fact could lead to erroneous purchasing of lip gloss and irritability after the fact. You should not commit to new lip gloss if you have a history of finicky behavior or poor decision-making skills. Please consult a professional (like the Sephora mavens) before attempting lip gloss replacement. The professional may need to conduct a color swatch and gloss application to ensure the proper match. Lip gloss application may cause pruritis and swelling of the lips, headache, nausea and diarrhea. However, the most common side effect is suddenly looking smokin’ HOT.

Lip gloss criteria:

1. I don’t do sticky. Nothing is worse than a chunk of your freshly-washed hair stuck in your lips. I would much rather reapply than deal with the stick. Sadly, this means no MAC lip glass, Bobbi Brown lip gloss, etc.
2. Glitter is a deal breaker. I can deal with very finely-milled flecks, but that’s it. Inevitably, lip gloss wears off and those big hunks of glitter solely remain, making me look like I ate colloidal silver for breakfast.

Without further ado…

THE LIP GLOSS LIST

1. Chanel Glossimer in Spark - I think 75% of the people I know own this shade. From what I gather it looks great on pretty much anyone.

2. Delux Beauty Lip Gloss - I have about 6 or 7 of these. They aren’t sticky at all, very sheer (but buildable) and come in a tiny little tube that fits in the smallest of purses or pockets. This used to be important to me when I had a social life. Now, they can be a little tricky to find swimming in my humongous diaper bag. Oh, but they are worth it. My personal faves are:

Jasper - sheer shimmery pink
Norris - raspberry gold
Asher - shimmerless nude pink
Hank - peachy cream
Odin - mauve berry

Sephora has stopped carrying these glosses - rumor has it that Delux Beauty is going out of business. I’d shut down my business too if I just had twins and was married to McDreamy. I guess I better stock up.

3. Laura Mercier Lip Glace in Blush - This is a beautiful color. It’s definitely the most pigmented of my glosses (I usually steer towards the very sheer), but this is a no-fail compliment-getter. They say it’s a medium rose brown, but it’s more of a peachy-pink on me.

4. Stila Lip Glaze in Raspberry - They call it a “high gloss fuschia”. Frankly, that frightens me. I would say it’s a fun sheer fruity color for the summer. However, I can’t stand the clicky pen applicators. It either doesn’t release enough or overflows all over the place. Also, Apricot is a nice barely-there shade.

5. NARS lip gloss - Oh my, I love NARS. Especially the blushes. Of course, I rushed out and bought the Orgasm lip gloss to match my Orgasm blush, but sadly, it looks terrible on me. However, I really like the feel of the gloss. Metalia recently purchased Rose Birman, which intrigues me (yes, lip gloss intrigues me. Have you EVEN been paying attention?!)

So, tell me. What are your favorite lip glosses?

Oh SHIT, I’m about to faint from all the possibilities!

Bring On The Lists

Sweet Jebus, I can be so lazy. Here I sit on the couch in my perfectly clean house (hell yes housekeeper monday), Wito just went down for a nap, my Statcounter and Google Reader feeds are caught up (which one’s better?) and the house is perfectly still. I can even hear the birds outside.

You would think I could get those creative juices flowing and crank out a post, but all I’m interested in is polishing off this box of Cheez-Its in my lap. Who out there doesn’t love the crispy tang of a Cheez-It?! If you don’t, I don’t think we can be friendternets (©Sarcomical) any longer. D told me yesterday that he is concerned about my diet; specifically that I eat nothing but crackers all day long. Hey D, it’s called being LAZY. And what about the Luna bars, dude? I eat those all the time and they have like all the vitamins and minerals you need for a week! Shit.

I was tagged for the six weird things meme that’s going around like the flu (thanks LVgurl), but seriously, don’t we all know that I’m fucking weird by now? If not, the category named call me quirky will get you up to speed. Side note - don’t do it.

La dee dah deeee dah.

OH MY GOD. THIS IS THE WORST POST EVER.

Maybe I should make a list. When I switched over to Wordpress, I looked through my older posts and realized I am a list-making queen. I love me some lists - they even have their own category.

Give me a list topic. I’ve got an hour to kill.

What’s In My Bag - Part 2

Do you remember my streamlined purse contents back in 2005?

Having a baby changes your life - Case in Point #1,547.

Please direct your attention to the 10 lip balms/glosses/sticks in my bag. Necessary?

Whoorlito - 6 month update

Is it just me or does “Wito” sound extremely leader-of-the-baby-mafia-ish. I can hear it now, “DUDE, don’t let Wito find out what you did…he’ll cut your balls off”. That or he’ll eat you.

First things first. Let me just say that ultrasounds are horrible. Not so much the ultrasound itself, but having to restrain a scared and hysterical 6-month old baby while the ultrasound is being performed on him. And the fact that it’s MY BABY. UGH, you guys! It was the worst. The WORST. First off, no worries on why the ultrasound was being performed- Wito has a little cyst on the back of his head and his doctor wants to play it safe.

Anyway, given the way he reacted when the dermatologist was looking at the bump, I knew we were in for a rough time with the actual ultrasound. I don’t want to ramble on about something so seemingly insignificant compared to what other babies have to endure, but let me just say it took 3 staff members to hold him down. I’m not kidding. Four people (including me). And it didn’t help that they were having trouble getting a good shot of the bump, which translated into 20 minutes of hell. He was so unbelievably scared and upset that he vomited all over the exam table and sobbed uncontrollably after the procedure was finished. All of this coming from a child who merely winces when he receives his immunizations.

I stayed in the procedure room for a couple of minutes afterwards to try to calm him down. Luckily, I had his favorite book “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” in the diaper bag. As he sat in my lap crying with that precious lower lip shaking, the second I turned to his favorite page (the green frog), he leaned back into my shoulder, looked up at me with his wet eyes and smiled.

Oh my God. Oh my GOD. Talk about RIPPING your heart out. Then stomping, shredding and setting the rest of it on fire. I got home and called my parents, trying to be oh-so-stoic, but they knew I had officially entered fragile mode.

I guess I always thought the first six months would be the hardest when it came to the worrying. You know, being a new parent and not knowing the ropes. Is my baby sick? Hurt? Tired? Why is he crying so much? And in some ways, it is the hardest. The sleep deprivation, the newness of it all, etc. But it truly doesn’t compare in intensity to the depth of feeling when your child begins to take on a true personality of their own. Gone are the worries about how many wet diapers and naps your baby has per day, and in it’s place are questions like “Will this amazing little person be lucky enough to live a full and blessed life?” And I can only imagine the feeling continues to intensify as every day, month and year passes.

Oh my God, I could go on forever. But I won’t since Wito might kick my ass.

So, Wito Wito Wito. Wito’s big, y’all. He’s in the 93rd percentile for weight and is off the chart for height. Literally. There is no place on the height chart for Wito - he’s one long motherfucker (see, he will kick your ass!). He has more energy than a coked up college mascot- the jumping, sweet jebus, the jumping. He could jump in the damn jumperoo until his head detaches from his body. And when I pull him out (with much resistance), he jumps up and down in my arms only to stop when he decides to perform a back bend because obviously, seeing the world upside down is hella more interesting than right side up.

He’s also a major flirt, evident this morning as we were leaving the dermatologist’s office and he winked at the lovely UPS lady. I personally can’t confirm the wink as I was holding him and couldn’t see, but she was quite adamant that he WINKED. AT HER. SHE WOULDN’T LIE ABOUT SUCH A THING. I considered telling her the wink might have been his attempt at shielding his eye from her intense staring, but alas no. I decided to keep that little nugget to myself.

We’ve been spending lots of time on walks with SAJ and Baby Bug because he is truly happiest when we’re outdoors. Or maybe it’s because he wants to eat Baby Bug for lunch…I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Be My Valentine

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