A Blessed Year


2006 was a personal best. Let’s do a photo round-up, shall we?


I am so thankful to live in a such a beautiful place with a wonderful husband and a truly amazing baby boy.


I am thankful for my loving, supportive family and friends. I am also thankful that starting next week, I will be living my life as a SAHM to little Wito.


But most importantly, I am thankful that despite my world turning upside down as a new mother, my fantasy football team STILL made it to the playoffs. Don’t even try to mess with THE DONGERS!

Happy New Year!


Get A Grip


I have underestimated The Sickness. I am powerless to its fierce grip.

Let me make a confession. When I started to feel the tickling in my throat and the itchy eyes yesterday, I was secretly relieved. After our whirlwind trip to Oklahoma, I figured it would be a good way to stay in bed for a couple of days without the guilt. D would have to take care of the baby while I lounged in bed, reading magazines and watching shitty TV (which, did I mention, we STILL haven’t purchased Direct TV DVR?!)

Little did I know that The Sickness would take my entire head hostage, conducting strange experiments involving massive amounts of snot and pressure. Add to that a healthy dose of delirium that my baby is going to contract The Sickness and be miserable until he is 2 years old. I PICKED A DRY BOOGER OUT OF HIS NOSE WITH MY DISEASED FINGER! YESTERDAY MORNING! MY BARE DISEASED FINGER! I WASHED THE FINGER DIRECTLY BEFORE THE PICKING OCCURED, BUT YOU CAN’T BE SURE! HE SURELY HAS CONTRACTED THE SICKNESS! In combination, these things can keep a girl up at night.

So, now I’m quarantined in the bedroom while D takes care of the little one out in the non-diseased areas. Once in awhile, he will open the door and let me wave at the baby. Who, by the way, has grown larger since yesterday. And probably is spouting off his ABC’s, dressing himself and has a hottie girlfriend.


I can’t focus on the magazine print, Saturday morning television blows, and all I want is to exit the bedroom and hang out. Be careful what you wish for, is all I’m sayin’.

– I now am sending D to the grocery store with my Dying of Sickness list. I just spent upwards of ten minutes explaining (with my sexy froggy voice) how saltine crackers are vastly different entities, with my personal preference being Zesta followed by Krispy followed by the horrendous Premium brand. If he comes home with Premiums, I will die. The End.


Love Me Some Lists


Well, hello there.

I have a bit of a cold, but don’t fret for little whoorlie. Why, you ask?

1. I am back home, which means I can deal with my cold in MY bed. Yay.

2. This is my first cold since pregnancy. Remember the shitty pregnancy cold of 2006 that lasted forever?! No worries this time around because I can take DRUGS! I can partake in los druggos to effectively deal with said cold! I am currently enjoying the effects of Alka Seltzer Cold Medicine. I love me some ASCM liqui-gels, yo.

3. Having a cold means I shouldn’t unpack our bags or the multitude of boxes containing Wito’s Christmas haul from Oklahoma.

4. Feed a cold. I still have my appetite, which I plan on satiating all day long to make up for the 4 pounds lost over the holidays. Holiday diarrhea rocks!

5. Wito seems to be healthy at this very moment in time. Hopefully, he received a nice dose of whoorlie antibodies for breakfast this morning. But even if he does come down with the snotties, we have four days of holiday before D has to return to work. Which means Nurse D, at your service. Should I dust off the bell? Ring-a-ding-ding! Nurse D, please report to bedroom #1 for assistance STAT!

6. Puffs Plus are soft. Acne-inducing? Possibly. But oh, so soft.

7. A week of blogs to catch up on. How was your holiday week? Oh, I will know so very soon.

8. I will have time to construct entries detailing my Christmas vacation, which consisted of stories including, but not limited to:

*Sub-list alert. How very whoorl…a list inside a list.*

1. A screaming deal on a G-money car. Wito is now rollin’ in the lap of luxury.
2. A 1500-mile road trip complete with screaming baby, which truly is a week worth of posts in itself. Highlights include Texas State Troopers, exciting bathrooms, the race for the last hotel room in town (shout out to the peeps of Las Cruces, New Mexico!), and MUCH, MUCH MORE!
3. The Great Hemorrhage of 2006.
4. The Jalapeno Cheese Ball Surprise.
5. Big decisions on the homefront.

Have I wet your whistle? Are you shaking in suspense?

All in good time, all in good time. A nap is calling my name.


Consider This A Warning


We are headed to Oklahoma tomorrow for a 96-hour Wito bonanza.

By God, if one sick person tries to touch or hold him, I will throw down out on the chilly lawn of dead grass. How’s that for Christmas spirit?

Germy selfish people + Whoorl = UFC

Abundant snark from the trip coming your way next week.

Happy Holidays!