I’m hot. And tired. And annoyed.
I contemplated not writing this until my body temperature cooled off a little, but I have now realized my body temperature is NEVER going to cool down until I have this baby. Which really aggravates me to no end. I’m the cold-natured girl! I’ve never had this problem before…the heat-induced crankiness is beginning and people should be very afraid.
Just today, three people commented on my “pregnant glow” while working. Um, pregnant glow my ass. If you call a complete meltdown with a double-dose of swamp ass a “glow”, more power to ya. Too much information? Well, you try getting in and out of your car 20 times a day, lugging around a bag full of drugs (IN A SUIT MIND YOU) in 90-degree inland California weather. I’m not sure how much longer I can endure my job. Talk about the proverbial “bun in the oven”…whoorlito is literally being cooked in my stomach.
Unfortunately, returning home from work doesn’t remedy the problem. Our house, like 90% of the homes in my neighborhood, doesn’t have air-conditioning. Consider it one of the perks of living by the water- the sweet ocean breeze cools everything down all of the time! Our utility bills are never more than $20 a month! It’s beautiful and amazing out here!
Well, it’s beautiful for 10 months out of the year, but summer can be a different story. Luckily, we have “June gloom”, which is caused by a foggy marine layer that hovers over the coast for 3-4 weeks, keeping it very cool around here. But of course, the ONE SUMMER I’m pregnant, the marine layer swept in early and has now run its course (we think…I’m still holding out hope).
I have to add a disclaimer, though. I am fully aware that 83 degrees with low humidity is downright lovely summer weather according to average American terms. I grew up in Oklahoma where the heat index soared into the 110’s during the summer. Have you ever flown into Oklahoma during the summer? It is quite possibly the ugliest city to view from the sky. Everything is brown because everything is DEAD. The grass doesn’t even survive the summers. It’s horrible. But everyone has air-conditioning in Oklahoma, so as crap-ass as it is outside, you can always hide out in your cool house.
Coastal California? Not so much. And you all, IT’S NOT THAT HOT OUTSIDE! People are performing acrobatics due to the beautiful weather. But I’m hot. So hot I want to cry. Buckets of tears.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to cut off a pair of my pajama pants and eat a popsicle.
Stay tuned for an endless bad attitude! Tomorrow’s subject: the job that is kicking my pregnant ass.
**UPDATE- this was written yesterday. It is now 7:44am and I am officially not hot this very second. I am actually wearing fleece. The sky is overcast. I looked out my kitchen window and saw these new blooms. Which means there is a slight chance of my shitty attitude improving.