Sinus Infections Are Fun



Welcome to my world. Put up your feet and watch the Food Network with me! Don’t be afraid of the productive coughing, the humidifier, snotty tissues and bad attitude. It’s fun here! I promise!

– photo by the miserable husband who desperately wants to escape




I had a bizarro dream last night. I blame my raging sinus infection. The pressure in my cranium is so intense, it is forcing neuron synapses in my dream sector, resulting in Rawwwrrr, PPD (Pregnancy Porn Dreams)! Oh, the google searches that will ensue!

Ok, it really wasn’t a porn dream, but it was beyond strange. D and I were at a bar, where we hit it off with Uma Thurman and some short Asian man. So, the four of us decide to go back this huge bustling hotel. Like this kind of behavior was totally normal, or something? CLEARLY, this three-week long battle with my sinuses has turned me into a freaky-dream sicko.

We got back to the hotel room and all hopped in the sack in our skivvies. I noticed Uma was getting all of D’s attention! I yelled “HELLOOOO, I’m over here, assholes!”, which made the short Asian man give me quite the lusting look. Come to think of it, it was Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles. I was very much NOT into the Donger, so I pretended to be asleep. Well, would you want to get with this? Then, all of the sudden, Uma was professing her love to me and I had to bail. I got up to leave the room and noticed around 100 people staring at us through a huge window.

What in the hell?

The good news is that I officially have been put on antibiotics to help fight the infection, and don’t worry, it’s Pregnancy Category B, my doctor said it is perfectly safe and my internet searches consisting of

Amoxicillin Sinus Infections
Amoxicillin Birth Defects
Amoxicillin Pregnancy
Amoxicillin Placenta
Amoxicillin Teratogenic Effects
Amoxicillin Dosing
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Issues
Amoxicillin Pregnancy Complaints

haven’t scared me into my normal hypochondriac mania. Here’s to feeling better in the near future. Cheers!


My Apologies to 58.9% of You


First and foremost, I’m trying not to be the “I told you so” type, but to all my family and close friends, I TOLD YOU SO! I knew it. I knew it. I knew it! Mama Whoorl is quite intuitive, folks. Too bad Papa Whoorl didn’t possess the same instincts.

Ok, the time has come! Let’s take a gander at the ultrasound photos.

Awwww, look how cute!!


Crossing the legs, just like Daddy.


Count ’em, five little fingers.


And the Piece de Resistance…DRUMROLL, PLEASE….


HOT DOG CITY! It’s a Whoorlito!




When will the REAL American Idol start? I’m so tired of watching losers do their thing.

Am I destined to use this old ratty broken-screen iBook forever since I spilled half a glass of water on my brand new beautiful Powerbook yesterday and I am not allowed to turn it on for 24 more hours according to a very helpful genius at the The Genius Bar? Do you understand the suspense of waiting 48 hours to turn on your computer to see if it MIGHT have survived a major water spill? And the ramifications of ruining a $2,000 laptop? All because your STUPID ELBOW KNOCKED OVER THE GLASS OF WATER THAT YOU HAD TO HAVE ON YOUR DESK BECAUSE YOUR SHITTY PREGNANCY-INDUCED HEADACHES ARE SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO DRINKING A GALLON OF WATER A DAY?

Am I going to catch every single cold virus that is circulating in Orange County this season?

Is Daniel going to win on Project Runway? Because I have a crush. BIG crush. I’ll be his little orchid muse anyday.

Should I tell you the sex of my baby since I have known for over a week and it’s killing me but the ultrasound was really early so I want to make sure? Even though the tech and nurses were all willing to bet money on the fact that IT IS SOOOO A <<<>>>? I was going to post my new ultrasounds for you all to see for yourselves, but they are held hostage on my Powerbook. And we all understand that won’t happen for 24 MORE HOURS if it happens at all. Oh pleeeeeeease let my laptop be OK.