It’s pouring in Southern California. I guess winter finally made an appearance. I personally don’t mind the rain- it’s the only weather change we experience around here. Well wait, maybe I mean I don’t mind the rain when I’m lying in my bed, eating bonbons and watching Ellen. I DO mind the rain when I have to join society and drive on the streets with Californians. Good God, are they scared of the rain! Total shit-for-brains. It’s not sleet, people. It’s rain.
My mom left this morning. We had a great mother/daughter weekend, except it wasn’t a mother/daughter weekend. It was a mother/daughter/son-in-law weekend. Yes, D was supposed to be in Las Vegas for a bachelor party ensuring our fabulous all-girls rendezvous, but those plans were scrapped when he woke up hurling from food poisoning on Friday morning. When my mother called to tell my father the situation, he casually asked her if I had poisoned D’s food to keep him from frequenting the titty bars, to which she replied, “Probably”.
OH, THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. Although, seriously, why didn’t I think of that? Kidding, people. I kid. Or maybe not. Hahaha, MWAHHAHAAAA!
He was in some pretty disgusting form all weekend. Our toilet was working overtime in the most heinous way. How fun for my mom!! But did that stop the shopping bonanza? HELL NO! And I plan on showing you all my new baby gear when I get my ass out of my comfy bed and take photos (which isn’t going to be until tomorrow).
Until then, I will ponder why Goldfish crackers leave such a shitty taste in my mouth.
