Hostage Crisis



I’m in Las Vegas attending my company’s annual meeting. I really can’t think of anything more fun or titillating than being pregnant in Sin City.

I am counting the minutes until Friday evening when I can sleep in my own bed.

Until then, Viva Las Vegas.


A to Z Meme


Thanks for the idea, Sizzle!

[A is for age:]
31. I am woman, hear me roar.

[B is for booze of choice:]
Dirty vodka martinis, red wine, bloody marys. How can a gal pick just one? But now, it’s all about cranberry juice in a wine glass.

[C is for career:]
I sell drugs. Legally, of course.

[D is for your dog’s name:]
I’ve never had a dog. Weep if you must, but trust me, I’m just peachy without one.

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Water. Lip gloss. My Mac. Kiehl’s lip balm. My glasses.

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
That’s tough. Tenor Man by Greyboy Allstars (I play a mean air drum).

[G is for favorite games:]
Scrabble. Russian Rummy. Solitaire.

[H is for hometown:]
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain.

[I is for instruments you play:]
I played the clarinet as a child. I also bought a flute on eBay and took lessons a couple years back.

[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Strawberry jam or jelly.

[K is for kids:]
One on the way!

[L is for last kiss:]
This morning from my husband with morning breath. Yum.

[M is for most admired trait:]
I’m not sure. I try not to make a habit of asking people that question.

N is for name of your crush:]
My husband. (Oh, ok. AND Clive Owen, Patrick Dempsey, Dave Grohl, Beck and James Spader- specifically from Secretary)

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]

[P is for phobias:]
Germs. People coughing in my personal space. Flying without my husband or vice versa. Speaking in front of large groups. ANTS. ANTS. ANTS. They are so scary.

[Q is for quotes you like:]
“People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little.” – Jean Jacques Rousseau

[R is for biggest regret:]
Not studying abroad in Italy during college.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Hello dollies or my mom’s carrot cake.

[T is for time you wake up:]
6:30am, but 7:15am this morning.

[U is for underwear:]
Right now, blue and green striped hipsters.

[V is for vegetables you love:]
I love all vegetables, except for eggplant. I’m severely allergic (like crapping and hurling simultaneously kind of allergic).

[W is for worst habit:]
Leaving my shoes all over the house. D can’t stand it.

[X is for x-rays you’ve had:]
Too many to count.

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Banana Nut Bread. Taco Soup. Curried Couscous. Bourbon Pecan Pie. Coconut Cream Pie. Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies. Lots of stuff!

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Textbook Scorpio-E-O-E-O.


Whoorlito Update


We’re back from my OB appointment where we just heard the sweetest sound ever. Whoorlito’s heartbeat! 145 beats per minute, baby. At first, I was scared my OB wouldn’t find it. It took about 25 seconds, which seemed like an eternity to me. But then all of the sudden, I heard it. D jumped up and ran over to get his ear closer to the doppler. We just looked at each other with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Pure unadulterated joy. Man, SAJ was right when she said OB offices should have a coin-operated machine where you can stop in and listen to your baby’s heartbeat. I would be there everyday of the week!

In other news, I was mis-informed about my ultrasound…it isn’t for another couple of weeks. But using my first ultrasound from 3 weeks ago, I created a highly-scientific ultrasound estimation just for you, my loyal readers.


Have a great weekend, everyone!

p.s.- If anyone needs a Photoshop artist, let me know because OBVIOUSLY I have wicked talent.


Sloppy Mornings with Ann


I saw something this morning that made me want to hurl chunks of last night’s tomato basil pasta feast all over the entire house. And for once I can say with 100% confidence that baby whoorlito had no part of this.

Call me crazy, but doesn’t The Today Show have hair and makeup people? They must, considering Katie Couric looks semi-decent most of time. Except for the lip liner. What is up with the lip liner?

Case in Point:


Look at that hair! Draped all over her shoulders, all tangled and shit. Is she attempting to form dreadlocks? BRUSH THE HAIR.

Here’s a lovely back view as well.


I think I actually saw little hair mites crawling around that mess.