I’m in the process of making a whoorlito gender poll for my website, but for some completely asinine reason, when I try to post it, it turns my entire page green.
BUGGER.
Even my smartypants art director/graphic designer husband can’t figure it out. Oh well, at least it gives me something to do besides scorching my retina watching 834 episodes of Everyday Italian and Paula’s Home Cooking.
By the way, thanks for all the de-lurkdom! I loved it!
Hi there, I’m bored. I bet you can’t guess where I am. No really, guess. Oh, come on, one little guess.
FUCKING MAKE A GUESS, NOW!
Oh, I’m so sorry! Some pent-up energy must have escaped my tender motherly heart. Here’s a hint – it’s the same place as yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before, infinitely and forever.
My bed.
But not for the reasons you might think. Nope, nosirreebob. You see, I’ve been given the go-ahead regarding the baby. “Things look perfect! No more bed rest for you!” “Please run through the hills singing at the top of your lungs!” “Wrestle an alligator with all of your might!”
Well, maybe I can’t RUN through the hills, but I could take a nice leisurely walk if I felt the need. But nope, I’m stuck in bed with this crappy cold that has lasted for 5 DAYS and I can’t seem to get rid of it. AND I’M GOING CRAZY. You’ve read about my colds or “pinto bean syndromes” before…they last for 36 hours, tops. 36 HOURS. NOT 879,000 HOURS, PEEPS!
***ANN CURRY UPDATE***
It seems Ann has brushed her hair today! Holy shit! She must have gotten my memo!
***ANN CURRY UPDATE***
Anyway, I’m bored and learning through my detailed “colds and pregnancy” google searches that it takes much longer for colds to work their course in pregnant women. So I just will have to wait it out. Bored. And bored. Did I mention I was bored?
Thank God for my wireless laptop. At least I can sit in my bed and fill my brain with frightening pregnancy stories from TLC online and Babycenter. Awesome.
WAIT! I know what I want to do. You know how last week was De-Lurking Week? And I didn’t ask ANYONE to de-lurk because I’m cool like that? Well honestly, I didn’t because I wasn’t sure anyone would actually do it, and My Ego! My Fragile Ego! Well, how about if all of you fabulous people leave me a comment today? Today would be PERFECT, considering I am going to refresh my comments page every 6.5 seconds until I go to sleep tonight.
Oh, come on! Don’t you want to make a sick, bed-ridden pregnant woman’s heart beam with pride and true happiness?
*courtesy of papernapkin
UPDATE:
How about you de-lurk to tell me if you think I am having a boy or girl. I’m very curious.
I had my follow-up ultrasound this morning, and everything looks great. My hemorrhage has healed and the baby was doing some major whoorlito aerobics.
Here are some ultrasounds from early Saturday morning (notice the time, aargh).
Hey guys! Check out my arm and hand!
But wait, seriously, how cute is my foot?
Um, yeah. Some additional room would be nice.
…and some from this morning…
Chillin’ like a villian.
And my personal fave. Just waving hello to the readers.
Hey, how was your weekend? Mine was interesting to say the least…
Whoorl’s Shitty Weekend in List Form:
1. I woke up Friday morning in Las Vegas sooooo ready to fly home at 3:53pm. It’s going to be a great extended weekend!
2. Got ready for my morning meetings when I noticed something strange going on. Remembered that this strange event can be common in early pregnancy, and tried not to stress about it.
3. Attended meetings from 7:45 – 11:30. Had absolutely no idea what in the hell was going on because all I could think about was my baby.
4. Confided in two of my colleagues who both suggested I call my doctor immediately.
5. Called my doctor, explained the situation, and told her about my flight home in less than 4 hours. I was hoping she would tell me to get my ass home pronto. Unfortunately, that was not the case as she told me to go to the nearest ER immediately.
6. Hung up the phone. Slight whoorl meltdown while hiding behind a partition in the Venetian hotel. There were about 400 reps from my company in the area with me and all I wanted to do was find my manager, tell him the situation and get the hell out of dodge without them all seeing me cry. I just REALLY didn’t want to make a scene- which was difficult considering I was a extremely hormonal, scared pregnant lady who had just been told to go to the ER in Las Vegas.
7. Somehow managed to get my manager’s attention, told him the situation, and we took off together in search for a cab.
8. Found the cab line at the front of the Venetian, cut in front of 250 reps while my boss yelled “NEAREST HOSPITAL PLEASE!” So much for not making a scene.
9. We were dropped off at the Sunrise Hospital Emergency Room, aka Shit-My-Pants-Kind-Of-Scary Hospital. The ER was packed, which I expected considering Las Vegas is notorious for extremely long ER waits.
10. The triage nurse checked me in with comments like “Well, you know if you miscarry, there’s nothing you can do about it”. “The baby can’t survive on it’s own.” “I’ve had 5 miscarriages myself and it’s really common and NO BIG DEAL.” I swear I nearly punched her few remaining teeth out. NO SHIT, BITCH! I’M FULLY AWARE OF MY SITUATION, THANKS. I’M SORRY I’M KEEPING YOU FROM YOUR NASCAR EVENT.
11. Called D to inform him that I had made it to the ER. At this point , we decided it would be best for him to make the 4 1/2 hour drive to come get me since it was about 1:00pm and we weren’t sure about making my flight home.
12. For the next three hours, my boss (who, frankly, missed his own flight for me and was AMAZING the entire day) tried to pass the time by making fun of the complete fashion disasters that were surrounding us and closing in fast. People, there were some denim items that I have never seen the likes of in my 31 years on this planet.
13. Yes, we were making fun of people while waiting to make sure my baby was OK. We are horrible people, but how else do you pass the time?
14. 4:30pm. Not ONE person has been called back in over three hours. My boss checks in with the no-teeth beaatch. She informs him that there are 38 people waiting for beds in the back already. She says it will be at least 5 more hours. When I catch wind of the situation, I make the executive decision to Fuck This, despite my doctor’s advice of being evaluated in Las Vegas.
15. Took a cab back to the Venetian, got my bags, and waited for D to pick me up.
16. Made the 4 1/2 hour drive back home. Drove straight to my hospital’s ER. Arrived around 10:30pm. Only had to wait about an hour, and then spent about three hours being evaluated.
17. Happy news! After blood tests, pelvic exams and an ultrasound, the baby seems just fine. I had a small hemorrhage in my uterus, and was ordered on bed rest until this week when hopefully, the hemorrhage will heal itself. And yes, I totally blame my company’s meeting for all if this considering I had to walk an equivalent of 2-3 miles a day while lugging my books to and from the Convention Center.
18. We drove home from the hospital at 2:30am and crashed (after showers, of course. Germs, people. Germs.)
19. Woke up Saturday morning with some sort of hybrid flu/cold thing and have been in bed ever since while coughing my brains out. And coughing hurts. My head is going to explode and I can’t take anything! Wahhhhhhh.
Good times.
But, hey! Guess what? My baby’s fine! AND I got some really cute ultrasound pics on Friday night/Saturday morning! AND I am getting a follow-up ultrasound in about an hour! So, you know what that means? Whoorlito pics in a couple of hours!
Well, at least that’s exciting to me…
