Several times during this last pregnancy, my mom would ask (to no avail) what we would like for Wita’s gift. You know how it goes with subsequent children…you pretty much have everything you need…don’t have room for more stuff…blahdeedah. I couldn’t think of anything. When Wita was born, by our own account, we were still giftless.

Enter my parents’ most genius gift idea yet. They hired Wito’s former nanny (from when I was still working as a pharmaceutical sales rep) to work for me for 4 hours every day for 2 weeks. 4 hours! Every day! For 2 weeks! It was bliss. Bliss, I tell you! Mainly, her job was to keep Wito occupied while my little one continued her quest for The Longest Nursing Bender Ever.

(She’s still on that quest.)

(Seriously. She likes to nurse. Like All The Time. Wito was a huge eater; let me remind you that the boy nearly doubled his birth weight from 6lbs, 11oz to 11lbs, 15oz IN 6 WEEKS, but he was an efficient one. 5 minutes on each side, over and out. Dunzo. This little girl likes to eat a little, sleep a little, eat a little, sleep a little and her favorite daily activity, flicking my nipple in and out of her mouth at an extremely rapid rate. And as benign/tantalizing/interesting as that might sound to non-experienced breastfeeders, it is not any of those adjectives. Try MOTHEREFFING PAINFUL.)

Enough with the nipple talk. (My father is thanking Jesus right now.) The nanny! Well, it was wonderful. She helped with errands and Wito’s activities while I dealt with the precious leech. She even watched over the baby while I paid very close attention to the incredibly buff water polo players, er, I mean Wito, during his swimming lessons at the local high school.

Sad to say that her final day was last Friday and I’m on my own. This turn of events probably explains why my son is entering Hour 2 of Meteor and The Monster Trucks games on my computer and Wita is still in her car seat on the kitchen floor from the errands I ran over two hours ago. (Oh, relax. She’s sleeping in there. I mean, last time I checked she was.)

Thank you, mom and dad. You are the greatest. (And now you know what to get me for every remaining birthday and Christmas gift until the kids are in college.)

It seems I’ve been a little lax in the whole ‘preparing for a new baby’ gig. Time to batten down the hatches over here. Let the lists commence!

(Is the Wito chin grab cute or WHAT?)

My father and I are also filming the sequel to this summer’s Candyman, which will be a hard-hitting documentary about my father’s quest to create the Perfect Chex Mix. (And he does make the world’s BEST, trust me.) It will challenge everything you previously believed about chex mix, and we have our fingers crossed for an Oscar nod. Cautiously optimistic.

In the meantime, please enjoy the vocal stylings of Wito. Happy holidays to everyone!

Jingle Bells from whoorl on Vimeo.