Kick Ass Workout Plan

How did I just know this topic would be the most popular? Let’s catch up.

I started running, debated over shorts and shoes, completed the C25K program and kept it up for months. Unfortunately, my pesky right ankle would have nothing to do with my running plans. Add in cold winter mornings, a huge dose of laziness, and well, here I am after a stagnant winter and spring.

(My ankle feels great, though. Thanks for asking.)

During the past couple of months, I’ve been taking a Pilates class at my local community center, but my teacher has been less than stellar. It seems she would rather talk about Neti Pots and male Kegel muscles (did you know men can do Kegels too? No? Well, let me tell you about it again and again! And AGAIN.) than focus on the exercises. Plus, once a week is fun, but it’s pretty hard to see results at that rate.

Keep in mind I stay home with Wito, so day classes are out and I’m not really interested in a stinky gym with childcare. However, the motivation is there.

After seeing this post a year ago and this recent one, I decided I just HAD to buy this exercise DVD. (How could I not? DID YOU SEE LINDA’S ARMS? Good God.)

I found a gently used copy on Amazon, and it doesn’t disappoint, considering I am not the cardio-bouncy-dancing type. I don’t find Chalene, the instructor, to be annoying and the routine is challenging yet attainable. Oh, and it will make you sweat. I do this workout at 6 in the morning, before I can give myself the chance to make excuses. Plus, Wito is still sleeping so I don’t need to worry about delivering an accidental roundhouse kick to his noggin.

Earlier this year, I also bought this Pilates DVD (to supplement my Neti Kegel Class) and it rocks. It’s absolutely amazing how controlled movements can make such quick improvement to your body. The DVD has two different sections - one for beginners needing position modification and one for advanced beginners. Within each section is a full workout, plus tons of individual 10-20 minute segments (if you don’t have time for the full workout). I usually do the 30-minute full workout during Wito’s nap.

Combining these two workouts is awesome because you are working your body in completely different ways. Turbo Kick and Jam is more of a cardiovascular workout with quick muscle movements, while Pilates is completely controlled with very little movement. (Honestly, I was shocked at how sore I was after my first Pilates class. It burns, baby.) The combination of the two has really made a difference already. I highly recommend it.

(Plus, no gyms! Just you and the DVD player.)

So, my new exercise plan consists of this:

Turbo Kick and Jam - 2x/week

Pilates - 2x/week

And the kicker. My pinch hitter and seriously the best part of my workouts. The Wii Fit.

DUDE.

(You’ll have to wait to hear about that one until Friday, when I review it over at ParentDish. See photos of me in exercise pants, unsuccessfully trying to master yoga! BONUS.)

As for running, I do miss it and hope to sporadically add some runs into my regimen.  (Although, let’s be serious. I have a drawer filled with 4,000 running-related items and it mocks me EVERY DAMN DAY.  I have to run, if not for that reason alone.)

There you go! My new and improved kick ass workout plan!

Questions? Any other DVDs I should know about for the future? What’s YOUR workout plan this summer? Do tell.

Rock Chalk

I live in an area where people could care less about collegiate sports, which is a tad frustrating for a die hard like me. Why, just over the past couple of days, several people have asked if some sort of “basketball tournament thingy” was going on.

Seriously, people? YOU KILL ME.

Whatever. People have different interests, hobbies, blahdeedah.

However, if you aren’t even remotely enthused by this unbelievable last-second shot (which led to overtime), well, you just don’t have a soul.

Congratulations to my alma mater, the University of Kansas, winners of the 2008 NCAA Basketball Championship.

(Mario, call me.)

Wait! I hear you grumbling…some of you STILL don’t care. Fine. Try to deny this cuteness.

Beak ‘em Hawks! from whoorl on Vimeo.

Beak ‘em Hawks! ROCK CHALK.

4 Things

1. My pink glasses are taking an extended sabbatical, but will be replaced with ones described as “a bold optical form evoking the archetypal sexy librarian image”. Goodness Me! This might not seem like breaking news, but PEOPLE, can we talk about how expensive glasses are these days? Wow.

2. Carson Palmer should feel free to throw for 300 yards and 3 touchdowns this evening. (Did I tell you about the night I saw him at my fave Mexican restaurant? He’s a tall drink of water, that Carson.)

3. Wito has boycotted all naps. For. Ever.

4. I am not feeling the slightest bit guilty about drinking a beer on a Monday afternoon. Yet ANOTHER good reason to live on the West Coast - Monday Night Football at 4:00pm.

The Ongoing Quest

Thanks to you, I have in my possession many shorts of the running variety. (I’m definitely intrigued by the running skirts, I just feel the need to do a little more research before purchasing.) I ordered all of the shorts online, stemming from my inability to deal with athletic store dressing rooms due to imminent toe fungi lurking in the carpet fibers. We ARE talking about people of the athletic persuasion. (Did I mention I sold Lamisil for several years? I have seen some of the funkiest toes in the history of man, trust me. One elderly lady had a toe nail that formed a yellow “ram’s horn”, which curled in a counter-clockwise manner, piercing the skin on the left side of her big toe. I witnessed this directly after a lunch from Panera, and needless to say, it is no longer a dining option.)

Friday night, I conducted a fashion show of sorts for my husband while drinking a lovely 2003 Malbec. Here are my preliminary findings for a couple of favorites. The Adidas Response Baggy Short was a great recommendation, although I ordered the wrong size. They were a little too baggy, but the other size should be here today. I really like the length (4 inches) and the leg room. They feel more like soccer shorts than running shorts, which is a good thing.

The shorts I really want to love are the Nike Tempo Track Shorts. Such fun colors- which, duh, is the pinnacle of importance! I wisely ordered two sizes, but had trouble deciding which one technically fit. Now, these shorts don’t mess around. They have a 3-inch inseam, and look like serious bad ass running shorts (Lawyerish, you were so right). D and I decided the smaller size (what the Nike size chart recommended) are most likely the correct fit, but GOOD LORD, they are short. I find myself blushing and tugging at them while alone in my own home. On a positive note, just wearing them around the house should burn extra calories, seeing that sitting and staring at my entire thigh from knee to hip smashed against a chair is NOT an option.

After my 2nd or 3rd glass of wine, we conducted a performance test specifically targeting the “ride-up” issue, which consisted of me trotting barefoot up and down my sidewalk while holding my wine glass. I’m sure the neighbors enjoyed that show. Interestingly enough, the larger sizes definitely rode up my inner thighs, prompting me to wonder if I’ve been wearing the wrong size shorts all along. It’s almost like the extra fabric bubbles up, causing the crappy ride-up.

For the immediate time-being, I think Adidas will be my staple, but the Nike shorts will be my goal. When I’m feeling the burn and wanting to slow down, I’ll just envision myself in my two-tone pink Nikes with smooth and slender thighs hauling ass around town. That should keep me truckin’.

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Fourth to everyone in America! To celebrate, we will discuss my hot, sweaty thighs!

Three weeks ago, I started the Couch to 5K running program. I love it. Well, I love it every hour of the day besides the hour in which I’m actually participating in the Couch to 5k running program. I wasn’t sure if I could logistically follow the program, considering it involves time and distance measurement, until I found this podcast on iTunes. This very nice man created weekly podcasts with music in which he tells you when to Stop and Go and Keep Loose and Run Through Your Heels and Good Job, You’re Almost There!

The music is a little techno-y, but if you don’t mind the thump-thump-thump and an occasional siren blowing during the songs, it’s all good. Oh, except this one song in the first week’s podcast, when this whiney bitch of a dude sings, “Leave me alone, leave me alone, I don’t waaaaaaaant to see yoooo”. Not “you”, but “yoooooo”, which always makes me laugh hysterically while running, scaring all of the mommies and small children in Bugaboos.

However, let us not discuss whiney bitchy dude techno today. Let’s discuss running attire. I usually wear a wife-beater and stretchy capri-type pants, which was all fine and dandy until my neighborhood suddenly became Planet Hellfire this week. Must I remind you of my rosacea and heat intolerance? Well, wearing stretchy black pants is not exactly helping the issue.

As much as it hurts me to say this, I think I need to purchase some running shorts.

*dry heave*

I need serious assistance with this matter. Does anyone have any good recommendations for running shorts that:

1) Do not ride up the inner thigh into the nether regions.

2) Are loose enough to not make thighs look like sausage casing.

3) Are not fugly.

Help me, oh wise ones!

No Words

I Only Have One Thing To Say Tonight

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