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Happy Fourth of July

Happy Fourth to everyone in America! To celebrate, we will discuss my hot, sweaty thighs!

Three weeks ago, I started the Couch to 5K running program. I love it. Well, I love it every hour of the day besides the hour in which I’m actually participating in the Couch to 5k running program. I wasn’t sure if I could logistically follow the program, considering it involves time and distance measurement, until I found this podcast on iTunes. This very nice man created weekly podcasts with music in which he tells you when to Stop and Go and Keep Loose and Run Through Your Heels and Good Job, You’re Almost There!

The music is a little techno-y, but if you don’t mind the thump-thump-thump and an occasional siren blowing during the songs, it’s all good. Oh, except this one song in the first week’s podcast, when this whiney bitch of a dude sings, “Leave me alone, leave me alone, I don’t waaaaaaaant to see yoooo”. Not “you”, but “yoooooo”, which always makes me laugh hysterically while running, scaring all of the mommies and small children in Bugaboos.

However, let us not discuss whiney bitchy dude techno today. Let’s discuss running attire. I usually wear a wife-beater and stretchy capri-type pants, which was all fine and dandy until my neighborhood suddenly became Planet Hellfire this week. Must I remind you of my rosacea and heat intolerance? Well, wearing stretchy black pants is not exactly helping the issue.

As much as it hurts me to say this, I think I need to purchase some running shorts.

*dry heave*

I need serious assistance with this matter. Does anyone have any good recommendations for running shorts that:

1) Do not ride up the inner thigh into the nether regions.

2) Are loose enough to not make thighs look like sausage casing.

3) Are not fugly.

Help me, oh wise ones!



Another Profound Weekend

This might become a regular series - our weekend conversations are deteriorating by the minute.

I’ve recently started running again and my right ankle and hip have been giving me trouble. As I was lying on the floor, trying to remember the exercises my former physical therapist taught me, I mentioned how cool it would be if D was a physical therapist. Free therapy and adjustments for life!

He looked up from his magazine and without missing a beat, said, “It would be even cooler if you were a hooker for free.”



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