Kick Ass Workout Plan

How did I just know this topic would be the most popular? Let’s catch up.

I started running, debated over shorts and shoes, completed the C25K program and kept it up for months. Unfortunately, my pesky right ankle would have nothing to do with my running plans. Add in cold winter mornings, a huge dose of laziness, and well, here I am after a stagnant winter and spring.

(My ankle feels great, though. Thanks for asking.)

During the past couple of months, I’ve been taking a Pilates class at my local community center, but my teacher has been less than stellar. It seems she would rather talk about Neti Pots and male Kegel muscles (did you know men can do Kegels too? No? Well, let me tell you about it again and again! And AGAIN.) than focus on the exercises. Plus, once a week is fun, but it’s pretty hard to see results at that rate.

Keep in mind I stay home with Wito, so day classes are out and I’m not really interested in a stinky gym with childcare. However, the motivation is there.

After seeing this post a year ago and this recent one, I decided I just HAD to buy this exercise DVD. (How could I not? DID YOU SEE LINDA’S ARMS? Good God.)

I found a gently used copy on Amazon, and it doesn’t disappoint, considering I am not the cardio-bouncy-dancing type. I don’t find Chalene, the instructor, to be annoying and the routine is challenging yet attainable. Oh, and it will make you sweat. I do this workout at 6 in the morning, before I can give myself the chance to make excuses. Plus, Wito is still sleeping so I don’t need to worry about delivering an accidental roundhouse kick to his noggin.

Earlier this year, I also bought this Pilates DVD (to supplement my Neti Kegel Class) and it rocks. It’s absolutely amazing how controlled movements can make such quick improvement to your body. The DVD has two different sections - one for beginners needing position modification and one for advanced beginners. Within each section is a full workout, plus tons of individual 10-20 minute segments (if you don’t have time for the full workout). I usually do the 30-minute full workout during Wito’s nap.

Combining these two workouts is awesome because you are working your body in completely different ways. Turbo Kick and Jam is more of a cardiovascular workout with quick muscle movements, while Pilates is completely controlled with very little movement. (Honestly, I was shocked at how sore I was after my first Pilates class. It burns, baby.) The combination of the two has really made a difference already. I highly recommend it.

(Plus, no gyms! Just you and the DVD player.)

So, my new exercise plan consists of this:

Turbo Kick and Jam - 2x/week

Pilates - 2x/week

And the kicker. My pinch hitter and seriously the best part of my workouts. The Wii Fit.

DUDE.

(You’ll have to wait to hear about that one until Friday, when I review it over at ParentDish. See photos of me in exercise pants, unsuccessfully trying to master yoga! BONUS.)

As for running, I do miss it and hope to sporadically add some runs into my regimen.  (Although, let’s be serious. I have a drawer filled with 4,000 running-related items and it mocks me EVERY DAMN DAY.  I have to run, if not for that reason alone.)

There you go! My new and improved kick ass workout plan!

Questions? Any other DVDs I should know about for the future? What’s YOUR workout plan this summer? Do tell.

Running Revisited

Remember Whoorl: The Running Blog?

Neither do I!

(This may or may not have stemmed from a recent 2-month sabbatical of sorts. It was just supposed to be a holiday thing, but um, YEAH.)

Regardless, I ended said sabbatical this morning.

It’s been awhile since I spoke of my ongoing quest for running gear and my final verdict, and I have some additions for those who ARE ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS.

Being that it’s in the high 40s during the morning, those Adidas shorts just aren’t hacking it. I had to conduct another highly scientific study (you know, trotting up and down the sidewalk with wine in hand) involving running tights, pants, capris, etc. I’m not really thrilled with running tights…they’re just so tight. On the other hand, the baggy pants interfere with my highly-athletic stride. (HA.)

These pants (actually, capris) from Nike seem to work very well. They are snug through the hips and thigh, but have a little flare at the bottom to keep my legs from looking like stuffed sausages. Plus, my legs stayed warm (but never got hot) and they wicked any sweat right away. Cool beans. Also, I scored a great deal on this jacket (perfect shade of green!) in the clearance section.

Just, you know, keeping you in the loop about my running because you care SO MUCH.

I’m still trying to find The Perfect Sports Bra For Running, though. Any suggestions?

Ping Pong Sundays

My run this morning nearly killed me. Seriously, running at 7am with a margarita hangover is not smart. Not smart at all. I think I might have experienced a small coronary infarction about two miles in, not to mention the sun was beyond blinding and HOT. Despite all of these issues, I pushed through and feel 100% better. But don’t think I wasn’t cursing Ping Pong Sundays the entire time.

This summer, Casa Whoorl’s front yard has become ping pong central on Sundays. D is a great ping pong player and it just so happens that our neighbor played tennis in college and is quite the player himself. Mix in the family on the other side of us, who force us to eat things like tacos and homemade rice and beans, and I think it’s safe to say, Sunday is now officially my favorite day. The play continues for a couple of hours while the grand total of 6 children run (well, Wito crawls and cruises the side of the house) through the grassy lawns, kicking balls and laughing hysterically. And what do the non-pongers do? We keep our eyes on the children while sipping delicious margaritas. I like our job the best.

After the fierce competitors have had their fill, the gaming table becomes host for all of the delicious food. Last night it was homemade salsa, guacamole, carnitas, tortillas, rice and beans and all the fixins. I’m pretty sure I ate my body weight in pork last night. There’s just nothing like a juicy carnitas taco followed by a tart margarita. And so we eat and laugh and eat and laugh until the only light left is from the moon, straining to see each other’s faces across the lawn.

However, the very best part is listening to the unpredictable comments from the 4 and 5-year-olds. As we were discussing our neighborhood’s overactive security force, one neighbor joked that if you sneeze too loudly, the security helicopters will circle your home for 45 minutes. Without missing a beat, the 5-year-old looked up from his ice cream cone, completely exasperated, and said, “Well, YOU KNOW, a red dog and a sweater just won’t cut it anymore!”

Huh?

After we put Wito down and the other children had finished dinner, the remaining kids scurried inside our neighbor’s house to play. As we continued to chat outside, we heard the leader of the pack (a 4-year-old girl) yell from inside her room, “Now, let’s get this PARTY STARTED!”

I can’t wait to hear what comes out of Wito’s mouth in the upcoming years. I have a feeling we won’t be disappointed.

I Still Can’t Move My Right Ass Cheek

Who cares, though? It’s Friday! The weekend approaches!

Casa Whoorl has been inundated with contractors, plumbers and electricians this week. In fact, I still have the grating sound of sanders, electric saws and hammers whizzing in my ears. When will that stop, by the way? The termites are gone, thanks to many men working to remove and replace the infested wood (YAY, no pesticides!), the plumbing is updated, small electrical issues taken care of and we’re still here! YES.

We’re experiencing quite a heatwave here at the beach. In fact, it’s already 78 degrees inside our home at 10:30am. Poor Wito wakes up drenched in sweat, but who cares? It’s Friday! The weekend approaches!

Oh, and guess what else?! I graduated from the Couch to 5K program this morning. I can officially run a 5K. WITH A BRUISED GOOSE EGG IN MY ASS. (Although, I did stop early when the throbbing ass issue morphed into more of a stabbing/ripping/burning ass phenomenon. Hey. I’m motivated, not a masochist.) The running post/valedictorian speech coming soon, but who cares? It’s Friday! The weekend approaches!

Let’s review. All of the house issues have been fixed, I am a running champion, I can’t sit on my right ass cheek, and the beach heatwave has turned my living room into the surface of Mars.

What does the rest of the day hold in store for Whoorl?

Well, DUH.

After weeks of brainstorming, Darren is coming over to create our new culinary delight, the Green Olive Pie. It’s a very up-and-coming dish that is sure to captivate the nation. Maybe. It involves, well, um, I’m not sure what in the hell it involves, but it’s serious. So serious, in fact, that I’ve donned my Princess Leia buns for the event.

Top Chef, here I come. Have a great weekend!

Not Worth Noting, But Humor Me

1. This morning I ran 1.56 miles without stopping to walk. I have never in my life run 1.56 miles without stopping. I need to share this with you because, well, who else am I going to share it with, my mom? Here’s a little preview of that conversation.

Whoorl: Mom! I’m halfway to my goal of running 3 miles! I ran a mile and a half this morning with the jogging stroller!

Mom: That’s good! (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: My new shoes are really helping out. My ankle feels much better.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: Although, yesterday it was giving me trouble…

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click)

Whoorl: Um, I broke my back yesterday.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, clickety click click)

Whoorl: And sold Wito into slavery.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: GODDAMN IT MOM, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! ARE YOU PLAYING ONLINE CANASTA AGAIN?!

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

2. I’m pretty sure when you put glasses in the dishwasher, they are not supposed to come out looking like this:

How about a side-by-side comparison?

Something’s wrong with my dishwasher, yes?

3. I apologize to all the Anya lovers out there, but I couldn’t be more thrilled about her departure from last night’s So You Think You Can Dance episode. It’s just that, I don’t know, the outfits and the ballroom thing and dear Lord, the OUTFITS. The leopard-print and electric blue fringe and booby tassels!

Plus, when she “dances for her life”, I feel like she is just shaking her ass and moving across the stage with teensy-weensy staccato steps. I am aware she is at a disadvantage by not having a partner to dance with in her dance-offs, and I KNOW that I am completely clueless about ballroom and need to SHUT UP, but man! With everyone else performing giant leaps and pirouettes across the stage, it’s hard to be impressed by ballroom during the solos.

To make my point with D last night, I threw on some heels with my running shorts and performed my own Anya-type “Big Wheels Keep On Turning, Proud Mary Keeps On Burning” dance. I paused and re-played her performance and everything. I thought I did a fine job, but D didn’t seem to be very impressed. He just looked up at me and said, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Point well taken.

The Final Verdict

Hello. Welcome to my running blog.

WAIT, come back! I swear, this is the last of the running gear entries, but I needed to divulge my final and SHOCKING opinion.

I, Sarah of Whoorl, am officially in love with all of my new road-tested (not just trotting-the-sidewalk-with-wine-tested!) running gear.

1. Adidas Response Baggy Short - I love these shorts. LOVE. I ran in both these and the Nike Tempo shorts and for me, the Adidas worked the best. The 4-inch inseam (opposed to the Nike 3-inch) made all of the difference. They are paper-thin, don’t ride up and keep my thighs completely cool the entire time. I am now the proud owner of several pairs.

2. Lucy Energy Sport Bra - The best part about this sport bra? It doesn’t cut off the circulation to my armpits - meaning, no armpit fat bubbling over the edges of the bra. Hallelujah. Oh, and they are on sale RIGHT NOW online for $10.00. TEN DOLLARS, PEOPLE. Get ‘em while you can.

3. NikeSportsTee Tank - These have the Nike Dri-FIT technology, so they keep you cool and happy. Plus, I love the colors.

And finally, the skirts. I wanted to love the skirts, y’all. However, I am very sorry to say that the skirts were shipped right back their maker. Personally, I am not a fan for a couple of reasons. For me, the material was too thick. It felt very similar to the sweaty capri pants that started this whole running gear search in the first place. There just isn’t any comparison to the light-weight papery feel of the shorts. Also, the skirt’s waistband sat much higher on my waist than the shorts, and when I attempted to pull it down, it would just ride back up. The compression shorts were visible below the skirt, too. All in all, no. Just no- at least, not for ME. I’m sure the skirts look fabulous on YOU. *kisses*

Now, I’m off to run on a treadmill while running shoe experts analyze my gait and try to help me understand why my right ankle feels like it will break off at any second. Please Jebus, don’t let me trip.

The Ongoing Quest

Thanks to you, I have in my possession many shorts of the running variety. (I’m definitely intrigued by the running skirts, I just feel the need to do a little more research before purchasing.) I ordered all of the shorts online, stemming from my inability to deal with athletic store dressing rooms due to imminent toe fungi lurking in the carpet fibers. We ARE talking about people of the athletic persuasion. (Did I mention I sold Lamisil for several years? I have seen some of the funkiest toes in the history of man, trust me. One elderly lady had a toe nail that formed a yellow “ram’s horn”, which curled in a counter-clockwise manner, piercing the skin on the left side of her big toe. I witnessed this directly after a lunch from Panera, and needless to say, it is no longer a dining option.)

Friday night, I conducted a fashion show of sorts for my husband while drinking a lovely 2003 Malbec. Here are my preliminary findings for a couple of favorites. The Adidas Response Baggy Short was a great recommendation, although I ordered the wrong size. They were a little too baggy, but the other size should be here today. I really like the length (4 inches) and the leg room. They feel more like soccer shorts than running shorts, which is a good thing.

The shorts I really want to love are the Nike Tempo Track Shorts. Such fun colors- which, duh, is the pinnacle of importance! I wisely ordered two sizes, but had trouble deciding which one technically fit. Now, these shorts don’t mess around. They have a 3-inch inseam, and look like serious bad ass running shorts (Lawyerish, you were so right). D and I decided the smaller size (what the Nike size chart recommended) are most likely the correct fit, but GOOD LORD, they are short. I find myself blushing and tugging at them while alone in my own home. On a positive note, just wearing them around the house should burn extra calories, seeing that sitting and staring at my entire thigh from knee to hip smashed against a chair is NOT an option.

After my 2nd or 3rd glass of wine, we conducted a performance test specifically targeting the “ride-up” issue, which consisted of me trotting barefoot up and down my sidewalk while holding my wine glass. I’m sure the neighbors enjoyed that show. Interestingly enough, the larger sizes definitely rode up my inner thighs, prompting me to wonder if I’ve been wearing the wrong size shorts all along. It’s almost like the extra fabric bubbles up, causing the crappy ride-up.

For the immediate time-being, I think Adidas will be my staple, but the Nike shorts will be my goal. When I’m feeling the burn and wanting to slow down, I’ll just envision myself in my two-tone pink Nikes with smooth and slender thighs hauling ass around town. That should keep me truckin’.

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