No pressure.

Contest!

It’s another CONTEST!

But! You don’t win anything tangible! Just my undying love forever and ever.

You guys, SERIOUSLY. Please help me. I need you to inform me of every single song, phrase, quote or whatever that contains the word “world” in it. It’s for a super top secret project and I would be indebted to you forever.

FOREVER. We are the world, man.

Valentine’s has made me batshit crazy

I can’t stop writing about Valentine’s Day over at the scary place. Just in case you are looking for some last minute ideas, feel free to take a gander. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.

Looking for a way to convey your hot, sexy love through food? Here you go.

Think Valentine’s Day is for wussy shitheads? You might like this.

Is Martha Stewart your idol? Knock yourself out.

Want to gain 10 pounds on Valentine’s? Have at it.

Is your loved one only worth a dollar? It’s too late, but you can look anyway.

Incidentally, I haven’t done one flippin’ thing for Valentine’s. Not even a CARD. So, um, CIAO.

Neilochka’s Great Interview Experiment

As part of Neil’s Interview Experiment (have you not signed up yet? Do it!), I was super lucky to be interviewed by the very funny Shash of Diary of a Crazed Mommy.

1. I read on your blog that your husband is an interior designer. Is your home like a spread in Elle Home or is your home more relaxed and lived in? Do you have any say in your decor, or does Wito really have the last word?

I think our home has all of the elements you mentioned. D is such a talented designer, and I really look forward to entertaining guests in our home. On the other hand, he’s a collector of many (OHMYGODSOMANY) things, which can present quite a challenge given we live in an area where space is a very precious commodity.

One thing I am really proud of is that our house hasn’t turned into a den of kiddie crap. Everything that Wito plays with can be tucked away out of sight from visitors, although keeping it that way is a constant adventure on my part. CONSTANT.

Overall, D thinks the home is our personal space, but I was granted a few shots for those who are interested.

2. I notice you live near a beach. Can you give us a general location of where you are and what the best thing for you is about living so close to a beach?

I live in coastal Orange County. I love living within walking distance of the beach- whenever Wito gets antsy, we pack up the stroller, head out the door and within ten minutes we’re making sand castles and playing in the waves. The ocean is good for mama’s soul.

3. Where did you grow up? What is your favorite grade school memory?

I grew up in Oklahoma and have fond memories of playing kick the can with all the neighborhood kids at sunset.

4. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be and who would you go with? What would you do while there?

I would travel to Italy (specifically Florence), mainly because I studied the language in college and was mildly obsessed at the time. It’s pretty depressing that I gave fluent presentations in Italian throughout my last year in college and now can’t remember a damn thing. Do you think it would all come back to me if I visited?

My dream travel situation would be with D, Wito, my parents and Lala’s family. That way, we could experience the sights, the food and the culture together. (Plus, I would have built-in babysitters. Let’s be honest.)

5. I have been following you on Twitter. You seem to have quite an obsession with Blues Clues. Care to elaborate? Who’s a better caretaker of Blue, Steve or Joe?

Ha! Actually, I had never seen Blue’s Clues until last week when I checked out a channel that SAJ had told me about. I watched two episodes with Wito, but was confused as to why there was a different dude on each episode. I immediately twittered my friends, who explained the whole Steve/Joe thing. I’ll have to get back to you on the caretaker issue after some careful analysis.

6. Are there any plans to continue Whoorl’s Running Blog? Suggestions on the best shoes to run in?

Man, there are so many things I would love to blog about, with running being in my top 5. However, my daily posts at ParentDish have filled up most of the time I previously used for rambling at this blog. I’m beginning to understand the concept of “not enough time in the day”. (p.s. - hey concept, you SUCK EGGS.)

(Oh, and if you have a neutral gait, I highly recommend these.)

7. Tell us a little more about this new love affair with Ramón. Favorite chord? I’m playing Guitar Hero myself and have found my wrists really hurt after awhile. Does the same happen to you and how do you combat it?

Oh, I do love Ramón. My fingers are becoming calloused, which is making playing so much easier. (That is, if you count strumming the same 4 chords OVER AND OVER AND OVER as “playing”.) I don’t really have a favorite chord yet- honestly, just playing a chord without a buzzing string makes me pump my fists with pure elation. As for my wrist, it hasn’t been too bad- I’m always sure to keep my thumb in the correct place on the neck.

At first, I thought I could teach myself with online tutorials, but I’m quickly realizing that bad habits could creep up without my knowing. So, I’m starting lessons this week. (Tomorrow night! Woo!)

8. How did Hair Thursday get started?

The seed was planted here and I got the go-ahead here.

9. What makes you laugh? Cry? Burp?

Laugh: Wito’s intense excitement when he says the alphabet. 30 Rock. Finslippy. My husband’s horrible attempts at falsetto. The way my father creates new words, such a chezigs and wintomint. This video.

Cry: Sick babies. The evening news. This father’s love for his son. The Spice Girls Reunion Tour.

Burp: Spicy food. Although, it’s more of a hiccup-type spasm that my entire dad’s side of the family possesses. Thanks, dad.

10. Favorite swear word?

Fuck- with an emphasis on the “f’, like “ffffffuck”. Be sure to clench your jaw for the ultimate effect.

11. Will you be at BlogHer this July?

I had a great time last year and it’s definitely geographically closer this time around. I would say a strong maybe.

12. Favorite Alcoholic Beverage?

Vodka on the rocks.

13. I read you have an addiction to instruction manuals. What is it about them that addicts you?

I’m all about the details. I want to know how things tick, as well as every possible way to manipulate an object.

14. I also love online shopping. Care to share your favorite online shopping spots?

As most of you know, I have a sick obsession with J. Crew. I fully enjoy purchasing enough for a small country on the website and then returning three-fourths of it at my local retail store. They really love me over there.

Other than that- Etsy, Shopbop, Oompa, Running Warehouse and Sephora.

15. Finally, any thoughts on the Pats - Giants game?

I never in a MILLION years thought the Giants would pull it out. When Eli threw the winning touchdown, our Super Bowl guests went completely ape shit. Wito was running around with his hands in the air, yelling “Tothdow! Tothdow!” I can’t imagine what New York was like last night.

Thanks, Shash! I can finally say my FAQ page is finished. Hell yes.

Blame Ramón

This song is sung to the melody of Tyrone by Erykah Badu.

If you have never heard of this song:

1) Watch the video and please familiarize yourself. Feel free to follow along.
2) We obviously have NOTHING in common.
3) I might need to re-evaluate our friendship.

I’m getting tired of his shit
My fingers are really hurtin’
See every time I pull him out
I gotta play lame ass chords on Ramón
See why can’t I play a damn D, sometimes
See I’ve been practicing all day
For a long time
I just want it to be
So easy
Like it needs to be, baby
But he must like to kick my ass
I think I’m gonna crap

I think ya better blame Ramón
(Blame him)

And tell him come on, help Whoorl learn her shit (come on, come on)

You need to blame Ramón
(Blame him)

And tell him I said come on

Now every time I have a chance to write a post
He comes beckoning with sweet promises of most
Oh, well hold up
Listen Ramón
I have shit to do
Cause Miss Whoorlie is always dealin’ with poo
And you know it’s true

Every time I try to play
I gotta turn the DVD on
To keep Wito engaged and not let him stray
While I practice the day away

Wito thinks Rachel is his mom
Because she’s da bomb
I must remain calm
Guitaraddiction dot com

I like you
But I must tell you the truth
Ramón wants to give
the internet da boot

So, you better blame Ramón
(Blame him)

And tell him come on, help Whoorl learn her shit (come on, come on)

You need to blame Ramón (OHEEEOHEEEOONNN)
(Blame him)

Hold on…but he sure is some fun

Introducing…

Ramón Alejandro Django. (Django is pronounced “Jango”. Also, RAD for short.)

He’s a total sadist and I can’t feel my fingers. I hate him.

The end.

Emails, Scheeemails

It has come to my attention that my snot-nosed punk email address has left my cheese out in the wind. If you have sent me an email during the past 3 days regarding Hair Thursdays, life in general or how much you adore me, I haven’t received it. (Which is truly a shame. Especially if you wanted to tell me how I’ve made the world a better place.)

However, if you sent me a very mean email, I somehow DID receive those. No need to send again! Thanks!

As for Hair Thursday submissions, some people have voiced concern about being the “MIA participants” I mentioned last week. Right now, the participants being featured are people who sent their initial email last August. If you have sent me information in the past four months, don’t worry, I have it. Your time has not come. (Although I accept bribes in the form of cold, hard cash.)

Currently, new submissions are slated for Fall 2008.

As for my asshole email problem, all pressing issues should be sent to whoorlATgmailDOTcom for the time being.

And just in case you were wondering:

Oooh, NIGHT VISION.

Have a great weekend!

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