In the last eight hours… 1. Sometimes, even though the ocean breezes have perfectly cooled your bedroom, you will wake up at 11:50pm completely dripping in sweat thus being forced to take your pajama pants off and sleep with your legs touching. Gross. 2. It is a very sad day when you wake up at […]
I’ve learned during the trials and tribulations of being knocked up.* 1. People are generally way nicer to you. It took me a while longer than most to experience this rule firsthand due to the belly that refused to pop out for eons. But it’s here now, so please, dote on me if you wish. […]
Well, I can’t believe I am 7 months pregnant. Time is moving at warp speed these days- in less than three months, I am going to have a baby boy! A very active baby boy at that, given the amount of time he spends kicking the shit out of me. I received a sheet from […]
This morning I had my 27-week Glucose Tolerance Test to screen for gestational diabetes. In a nutshell, this test consists of drinking 10 ounces of a syrupy-sweet orange drink containing 50 grams of dextrose (helloooo sugar high) that tastes like Sunkist on steroids, sitting around for an hour and then drawing blood exactly an hour […]
When you realize while getting dressed for your Week 27 prenatal appointment that you are mentally choosing shirts by their total overall weight in order to be the lightest possible when forced to step on the dreaded doctor’s scale.
First of all, thanks for the comments regarding shower attire. Trust me ladies, I would give my right ass cheek to wear jeans and a cute top to my shower. However, this particular shower is being hosted by several of my mother’s friends. In fact, not only are the hosts my mother’s friends, the only […]
I spent yesterday in Los Angeles with my fabulous friend Caroline. Don’t we look primed and ready for a day of shopping? The weather could not have been more beautiful- sunny skies, not a trace of smog and perfectly warm temperatures. Of course, days like these always remind me how absolutely spoiled Southern Californians can […]
I just returned from my ultrasound where Whoorlito put on quite a show for his mom and dad. Playing air drums, kicking his legs and displaying quite a large scrotum for all the world to see. As my father, the illustrious Bishop Stu Tu commented, “That kid is HUNG!” But I was most excited to […]
I haven’t written a full entry in a week, so why start now? Instead, here is a photo montage of my current pregnancy cravings. Who am I kidding? I have no cravings…these are the exact things I eat when I’m not pregnant (well, maybe not THREE servings of Maggiano’s spaghetti and meatballs in one week. […]
Let me begin with an apology. I’m sorry, but I must tell you about my weekend and it involves an explosion of sorts. I know, I know. I’m a lady and I shouldn’t talk about these things. I can’t help it! I come from a family of bowel-talkers; we like to chat about strange occurrences […]
Mr. Vegetarian Husband won’t be eating dinner with me, which means… AND I might even get a shake. Woot! UPDATE: I would like to point out how pitiful I am…just counting the minutes until dinner. HOW CAN IT ONLY BE 4:30?!
Unless colleagues would like to sneak a peek at my skin-colored seamless bra, the
Remember long, hot summer days at the pool as a kid? Playing Marco Polo or Jump/Dive off the diving board? My personal favorite was the Olympic diving re-enactments…slowly walking to the edge of the board, making the proper wave to the American fans and executing the perfect jack-knife. After all the diving and games, you […]
32 ounces of water and prunes for breakfast. Who wants to be me?
Why every time I pick up