I have no life…

but I have to say a couple of things about Chris being voted off American Idol.

People, people, people. Don’t be sad or pissed that he’s gone. Trust me, it’s the best thing that could have happened to him. Now he won’t be roped into a cheesy pop contract for the next trillion years. He will be thanking his lucky stars very soon.

Seacrest out.

Huh?

Kenny Rogers?

SERIOUSLY. Kenny Rogers?

Who comes up with the “star” appearances on American Idol? Is it because the producers are British? Is Kenny Rogers popular in England?

I’m perplexed.

Olympic Opening Ceremony or Rousing Tribute to Disco?

You decide.

Did you see the Parade of Athletes last night? I tried my hardest to focus on the individual athletes and comradery, but my brain couldn’t get past the music. Why the American Disco? Are these songs just becoming popular in Torino? Did the Olympic Committee brainstorm for months, only to decide that American disco music could bring the world back together? Many, many questions…

Not that I’m complaining, Olympic Committee. I’m sure the athletes enjoyed walking to the likes of YMCA, Hot Stuff, Disco Inferno and Shake Your Booty. I’m sure Iran very much relished strutting their stuff to Funkytown. I even think I may have heard a little Video Killed The Radio Star while Mongolia made their appearance. Video Killed The Radio Star? Way to think outside of the box, Torino! I can just envision the committee’s heated discussions…”We won’t be pigeon-holed by 1970’s disco! Hell no! We’re modern citizens! We will include mid-80’s music just to throw the world citizens for a loop. Take that!”

And their plan worked. I almost lost my shit when I heard Dreams by Van Halen. I mean, that’s 1986, people! How’d that one slip in?

Those crazy Italians.

Boy or Girl Update **whoorlita in the lead**

Hi there, I’m bored. I bet you can’t guess where I am. No really, guess. Oh, come on, one little guess.

FUCKING MAKE A GUESS, NOW!

Oh, I’m so sorry! Some pent-up energy must have escaped my tender motherly heart. Here’s a hint - it’s the same place as yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before, infinitely and forever.

My bed.

But not for the reasons you might think. Nope, nosirreebob. You see, I’ve been given the go-ahead regarding the baby. “Things look perfect! No more bed rest for you!” “Please run through the hills singing at the top of your lungs!” “Wrestle an alligator with all of your might!”

Well, maybe I can’t RUN through the hills, but I could take a nice leisurely walk if I felt the need. But nope, I’m stuck in bed with this crappy cold that has lasted for 5 DAYS and I can’t seem to get rid of it. AND I’M GOING CRAZY. You’ve read about my colds or “pinto bean syndromes” before…they last for 36 hours, tops. 36 HOURS. NOT 879,000 HOURS, PEEPS!

***ANN CURRY UPDATE***

It seems Ann has brushed her hair today! Holy shit! She must have gotten my memo!

***ANN CURRY UPDATE***

Anyway, I’m bored and learning through my detailed “colds and pregnancy” google searches that it takes much longer for colds to work their course in pregnant women. So I just will have to wait it out. Bored. And bored. Did I mention I was bored?

Thank God for my wireless laptop. At least I can sit in my bed and fill my brain with frightening pregnancy stories from TLC online and Babycenter. Awesome.

WAIT! I know what I want to do. You know how last week was De-Lurking Week? And I didn’t ask ANYONE to de-lurk because I’m cool like that? Well honestly, I didn’t because I wasn’t sure anyone would actually do it, and My Ego! My Fragile Ego! Well, how about if all of you fabulous people leave me a comment today? Today would be PERFECT, considering I am going to refresh my comments page every 6.5 seconds until I go to sleep tonight.

Oh, come on! Don’t you want to make a sick, bed-ridden pregnant woman’s heart beam with pride and true happiness?

*courtesy of papernapkin

UPDATE:

How about you de-lurk to tell me if you think I am having a boy or girl. I’m very curious.

Sloppy Mornings with Ann

I saw something this morning that made me want to hurl chunks of last night’s tomato basil pasta feast all over the entire house. And for once I can say with 100% confidence that baby whoorlito had no part of this.

Call me crazy, but doesn’t The Today Show have hair and makeup people? They must, considering Katie Couric looks semi-decent most of time. Except for the lip liner. What is up with the lip liner?

Case in Point:

Look at that hair! Draped all over her shoulders, all tangled and shit. Is she attempting to form dreadlocks? BRUSH THE HAIR.

Here’s a lovely back view as well.

I think I actually saw little hair mites crawling around that mess.

ICK.

I’m sure 80% of you have seen this already…just HUMOR ME

One of my best friends emailed a link to me a couple of days ago. The only correspondence she included was,

“This reminds me of you and your sister in high school”

I guess I have to agree- besides the fact that we aren’t male, Asian or Yao Ming fans, the performance is eerily similar to our Performance Art from days of yore.

Enjoy.

A Reprieve from Fantasy Madness

My Fantasy Football playoffs began today. It’s high stress around here, people. I wish you all could see the set-up in our living room…Direct TV NFL Ticket displaying a trillion games simultaneously on the television, 2 Mac laptops on both arms of the couch (which we refresh every 2.5 seconds to check our players’ points) and a shitload of yelling and cursing.

I love fantasy football, except for when I am losing. And today, I’m losing. So D and I decided after 6 hours of screaming at the television, we needed a little fresh air and decided to take a quick walk around the block.

Just as we started walking, the sun was setting behind Catalina Island. Isn’t it beautiful? Sometimes I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to live in this amazing place.

I take back everything I said about California during the holiday season.

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