Let The Games Begin

I don’t need to go into detail regarding my love for the NCAA Tourney again. Um yeah HELLO, I’m a Jayhawk. But, for the love of Christo, please don’t let my boys fuck it all up in the first round. Again. For the third time.

In the meantime, I’ll just revel in our sweet overtime win against that annoying ugly orange team yesterday.

Congrats to the Big 12 Tournament Champions (again) and the #1 seed - West Division.

Beak ‘em Hawks!

photo by Jeff and Laura Jacobsen

How Apropos

Did anyone watch Grey’s Anatomy last night? In the midst of my nanny search, was it really necessary to include a storyline about a nanny backing over a child with the SUV?

And to make matters worse, the child ONLY wants the nanny to comfort her in the hospital? And not her own mom? Who doesn’t even know HER CHILD’S BLOOD TYPE?! OR HER FAVORITE LULLABY? BECAUSE SHE CHOSE TO WORK OVER TAKING CARE OF HER CHILD?!

IS THIS A GLIMPSE INTO MY FUTURE?! Sweet Jebus ABC, could you make me feel any shittier?

I can see it now, Wito scraping his knee and calling out to Marta/Amalia/Heather/Emily/Amy (all fine candidates, might I add).

I better go figure out my child’s blood type.

Master Detective Status Achieved

In what can only be described as pure genius, I have solved Mystery Case Files: Huntsville and now possess the key to the city.

Too bad it’s only 9:00am on Friday and I still have PLENTY of time left until Monday morning.

Well, I guess I can always try to beat my previous time…

…and what’s up with these jackass weathermen repeatedly talking about the “cooldown” on the coast? Those lying sacks of shit said the high today was going to be 73 degrees. Newsflash, my outside thermometer reads 83 degrees at 9:24am in the shade. 9:24 AM PEOPLE! IT’S GOING TO BE AT LEAST 90 TODAY! I’M LOSING MY MIND! IT’S STILL HOT, HUMID and NO BREEZE!

ASSHOLES. It’a a good thing I don’t own a gun.

Detective Whoorl

Well, you would think I would be a posting fool due to my maternity leave and wicked organizational skills.

Sorry, Charlies. I have a new love in my life, and it’s called…wait, what’s it called…oh yeah…Mystery Case Files: Huntsville.

I love you Mystery Case Files: Huntsville. No more maternity leave boredom for me because I am solving crimes, yo. I came upon this earthly delight when I was playing The World Series of Pop Culture on VH1’s gaming website. Which, by the way, SERIOUSLY. I know the answer to every question on that show. I need to be on that show.

I could win that damn show hands-down, and I can’t believe Molly was this close to strutting her stuff in front of the cameras. MOLLY! WHY MUST WE LIVE ON OPPOSITE COASTS? WHY COULDN’T I BE ON YOUR TEAM? WE WOULD HAVE RULED THE POPOSPHERE!

Anyhoo, just gaming on the VH1 website last night (yeah, I’m now officially a “gamer” according to my husband…who most definitely HATES my involvement with Mystery Case Files: Huntsville), and I noticed this game. It’s like a timed Where’s Waldo and jigsaw puzzle combined. I am so in love- I even bought the full version for $19.99.

Check this out, I can’t really go into details because I am a full-on investigator and Huntsville needs me STAT, but this is the deal. You have to find certain items in a seriously-crowded room full of shit.

Here’s what a room looks like…

And another…

And basically, it’s keeping my Whoorlito impatience and boredom at bay. Not to mention, I’m a sleuth*, people. Do you know what that means? Yeah, well I don’t either. But I do know that there are 7 rankings below a sleuth. So um, basically, I’m an astonishing genius. I’m on FUEGO!

Who needs BlogHer when I’ve got the town of Huntsville counting on me?

Oh, so you don’t care so much about Huntsville? You’re just here for Whoorlito? Well, my next Whoorlito appointment is tomorrow morning. Updates will follow IF I can pull myself away from my detective duties. Peace.

*I’ve now been promoted to Shadow Master. How intriguing am I?

Today My Life Changed Forever

OK. So it’s not the birth of Whoorlito, but oh oh OH, so very important.

My husband agreed to get DVR for our Direct TV. People, this is monumental. MONUMENTAL.

I have listened to you all sing the praises of Tivo for years now, secretly hoping I would be able to join the DVR family. I would casually bring up the subject here and there, only to hear a swift, resounding NOOOOOOOOO come forth from my husband’s lips. And I was fine with it- we really don’t watch that much television anyway and it was probably for the best.

You see, my husband didn’t own a television set when we first started dating. Not a one. Which frankly caught me off guard seeing that he was/is a huge sports fan. Now, it’s debatable which of us is a bigger sports nut, but I knew the no-TV thing was going to have to change if we were going to move forward. I mean, how could we possibly watch all of the college football, NFL, college basketball and March Madness (not to mention golf! love watching golf!) without a damn television set? Sports bars? Friends’ houses? No thank you.

Well, I won the battle rather quickly considering the first weekend we spent together was the OU-Texas football game in Dallas (where he lived at the time) and we didn’t have tickets. I do believe the first 24 hours of our long-distance relationship was spent buying a TV set.

Whoorl - 1
D - 0

Eventually, when we moved to Chicago and merged our belongings, we owned a whopping TWO television sets. Holy hell, I thought he was going to keel over. But it was our move out here to California that really shocked me. Not only did we buy a flat-screen television, but we purchased Direct TV with (DUN DUN DUUUN) NFL Sunday Ticket. My prayers had been answered.

Every. Single. NFL. Game. At. My. Fingertips.

I still quiver at the thought.

My point? Well, I thought the well had run dry. Here is a man who went from NO television to several of them- including a big grey satellite dish screwed into the side of his home. He was done. Finito. No mas.

I don’t know what changed his mind, my sweet persuasion (complete with pregnancy glow!) or my intermittent nagging.

Come to think of it, the mind-changing might have occurred when I mentioned something to the effect of, “I WILL be breast-feeding every 2-3 hours in the middle of the night and BY GOD if I don’t have something good to watch, guess whose ass will be dragged out of bed to entertain me?”

Yeah, that might have been the turning point.

It certainly wasn’t when I flailed my over-dramatic ass on the bed yesterday crying, “HOW CAN THERE BE TRUE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD WHEN ONE CAN’T WATCH BOTH SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE AND ROCKSTAR:SUPERNOVA? (sniff, sniff, sob, sob) WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?”

Well, whatever I did worked. Happy days.

I have no life…

but I have to say a couple of things about Chris being voted off American Idol.

People, people, people. Don’t be sad or pissed that he’s gone. Trust me, it’s the best thing that could have happened to him. Now he won’t be roped into a cheesy pop contract for the next trillion years. He will be thanking his lucky stars very soon.

Seacrest out.

Huh?

Kenny Rogers?

SERIOUSLY. Kenny Rogers?

Who comes up with the “star” appearances on American Idol? Is it because the producers are British? Is Kenny Rogers popular in England?

I’m perplexed.

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