No pressure.

My Head. It Has Not Been Reattached.

Well, hello! Here I am. Headless.

Things haven’t really simmered down on the home front nor the Hair Thursday front. I returned Friday from Oklahoma, where Wito was cared for (read: spoiled rotten) while I was prancing around New York with TV makeup on.

I ask of you, television guest or high class hooker?

It’s a tough call, my friends. I’m sure the makeup was spot-on for the cameras, but the six business men who shared an elevator ride with me in my trench coat afterwards probably assumed the latter. You should have seen me walking into my hotel, just waiting for the manager to pull me aside, all Pretty Woman-style. (Excuse me, madam. Where do YOU think you’re going?)

Although, I’m happy to say I would have kept those false lashes on for the rest of my life if I had the chance. (Dear unbelievably awesome hair and makeup team, any chance I could get you to move to California? I make really good margaritas! Love, Whoorl.) As for the television appearance, I will let you know as soon as I get an air date so we can all laugh together at my rambling in front of a live studio audience.

Gulp.

Speaking of the television show, did I mention that the week before my trip to New York, field producers were sent to my house to film an at-home interview, as well as some additional footage of my day-to-day activities? One of those day-to-day activities was me bloggity blogging on my computer, and only in the middle of filming my hands typity-typing did I realize that my nails were possibly atrocious.

Guitar lessons + nails = Not Pretty. ZOMFG.

My living room was completely inundated with bright lights, microphones, people, cords, did I mention people? Yes, people staring at me while I talked about lord knows what. It was truly an surreal experience.

Fast forward to the present. Wito has had a fever of 102-103.5 for the past 36 hours. He’s a sick little dude, and I am taking him to the pediatrician in a couple of hours. My house is in its normal post-weekend state (DEMOLISHED) and guess who’s coming over in 5 hours?

ABC NIGHTLINE.

It’s clearly a slow news week. Let’s recap - messy house, sick baby and Oh, OH! Nothing to wear. Send help.

(At least my nails are manicured this time around. Positive thinking RULES.)

Wow.

OMFGBLAHDEEBLHAHAHAAGLAAAG.

Yes, I think that accurately explains how I feel this morning.

Click here for the online version.

Where Were You When…

The topic for this week’s Friday Flashback is What big cultural event occurred during your childhood/youth that you recall clearly? What was its impact on you?

Several “big” events immediately popped into my mind - the Challenger explosion (I was home sick from 6th grade watching the Price is Right- specifically, the yodeling mountain climber- when the show was interrupted by video images of the fiery explosion), Charles and Diana’s wedding (I watched it in my aunt’s basement in the wee hours of the morning, marveling at Diana’s train floating down the aisle and wishing to marry a prince one day), and Ronald Reagan’s assassination attempt.

However, the most vivid memories I have as a child were pop culture and fashion-related. (C’mon. Does that surprise you? It’s WHOORL we’re talking about here.)

Do you all remember these events as well as I do?

Watching the birth of MTV, with the inaugural video being Video Killed The Radio Star.

Classifying myself as a Valley Girl. “Like, you are tubular to the max.”

Hiding behind a pillow while viewing Thriller for the first time.

Drinking my first Jolt Cola.

My first pair of Jellies shoes.

Wanting to mack down with Charlie Sheen in Lucas. (That makes me cringe a little.)

Mix and matching the “perfect” Units outfit while getting ready for school.

The Three Men And A Baby ghost hiding in the curtain rumor. Freaked my shit out.

Dude, one word. FROGGER. (Also, did any of you play River Raid on Atari? My dad scored the highest score ever. We had to take a photo of him standing next to the good ol’ RCA television to send in. I would KILL for that photo right now.)

I remember distinct details of the above mentioned. What about you, though? What events from your youth are emblazoned on your brain? Anything goes!

Don’t forget to check out these other participants, as I can promise their posts are way more poignant than my banter about Jolt Cola. (Although, that shit was WICKED COOL. Admit it.)

Sweetney
Her Bad Mother
Mrs. Flinger
Mamalogues
Oh the Joys

Stay Tuned For The Most Dramatic Hair Updates Yet!

Channeling my inner Chris Harrison (who, by the way, was my husband’s high school soccer coach). Oh, and while we’re on the subject, what’s so horrible about that Womack chap not picking either girl on The Bachelor? HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, LADIES. (Further proof that I’m wired like a dude.) I cringed watching the “After the Rose” show last night.

DeAnna, let it go. LET IT GO.

Peace be with you.

Tomorrow I will be enjoying my Thanksgiving feast (all five courses cooked by yours truly, HALP!) instead of posting a new Hair Thursday, BUT I will post two of the best hair updates I’ve seen so far. One is the most improved and the other (Lori, from last week) is unbelievable. So incredibly hot. In fact, I think I shall make out with her for certain.

Off to the grocery store for the fourth time this week. Updates coming tomorrow morning!

Incoherent Rambling and a Dunkin Donut

About a month ago, I made a promise to some Very Important People that I would not come back from Blogher and write about all of the AMAZING and TALENTED women I met during the process like everyone else.

(Although, I did! They were really, really fantastic!) (And that doesn’t count because of the parentheses.)

Since I’m a lady of my word, you will have witness the AMAZING and TALENTED women over at my Flickr set.

My only regret was the lack of time spent with some of the lovelies. I’m looking at you Leah squared, Yvonne, Kris, Stacy, SJ, etc.- 5 minutes here and there was NOT enough.

Oh, and when I swallowed my tongue after the utterly radiant Holly complimented my gold shoes.

Instead, please direct your attention to my late-night rambling in the fabulous company of Heather (aka- The Girl Who Orders Vegetable Wraps From Dunkin Donuts) and Shana Banana. Bonus points for anyone who can decipher what I’m saying during the middle. Also, my bloodshot eyes and open-mouth chewing? Sweet Ass Jebus.

UPDATE: It seems as a retaliatory measure, Heather has posted a video of yours truly engaging in some shady dance moves. I am offering my public apology right now.

It’s The Truth And You Know It

So You Think You Can Dance is the most riveting television program in the history of time.

There. I said it.

I said it so you don’t have to, people.

Wait. Why, you ask? Oh please, let me enlighten you.

1. Cat Deeley has great hair.

2. Mary Murphy is totally Paula Abdul’s older, more responsible sister. She’s the one trying to get little Paula off the druggos and it’s all about the positive reinforcement. Both women are carriers of the B463 (unnecessary bouts of waterworks) and the D387 (getting their middle-age groove on) genes. They both make no sense, need serious cosmetic intervention and use words that are way too young for them. Were his moves really “wicked”, Mary? Because, um, last time I checked, you were the ballroom dancer judge. The show already has a hip-hop judge, and I don’t think he’s appreciating you getting all up in his shiznit, yo.

Most importantly, how does Ms. Murphy have an overbite and an underbite at the same time? Is that anatomically possible?

3. I am so pleasantly baffled by the Benji family. Benji, Benji’s sister, Benji’s cousin Heidi…what is going on in this troupe? They are unbelievable.

4. Travis from Season 2. Travis, I’ll drop everything for you, regardless if your MySpace profile name happens to be “hardassbitch“.

5. The interesting apparel choices by the ladies. Several times, I’ve found myself covering one eye, fully confident that the tiny piece of spandex covering their mons pubis is going to roll downward to the knee area, thus displaying dancer coochie to all of America.

6. Many more reasons, but it’s starting RIGHT. NOW.

*The opinions expressed herein are those of Whoorl, proud owner of the Center Stage DVD.

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