It’s all your fault, really.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed an incoming link to this blog where a blogger mentioned being happy because my post frequency was “back to normal”. Well, that lasted for about a week. I realize I haven’t devoted much time to this blog in the past month or two, and to be honest, I was hoping for some kind of writing revelation to occur. Unfortunately, it isn’t happening and I’m finding myself bored with my post drafts. So incredibly bored.

I’m not going to write about taking a blog break…it’s just that, I’m sitting here- my writing deadlines have all been met, my sick baby is sleeping, I’ve fed my Us Weekly addiction, but I just don’t have it in me to write anything at this place. And it’s not that I don’t have the material, because this week has been chock full.

(Such as, I’m now 34. This is my last year included in the 25-34 box, people.)

(Or how a stranger told my husband that I am a dead ringer for Sarah Palin. While I was standing at the polling booth! Wearing an Obama shirt! Which, apparently, is called passive electioneering and is illegal! Take THAT, rule-abiding self!)

(By the way, the short phrases ending with exclamation points?! BORING.)

(THE ALL-CAPS? ONCE AGAIN, BORING MYSELF TO TEARS.)

((((Not to mention the overuse of parentheticals.))))

GAH GAH GAH. Am I the only blogger who feels this way? Obviously I am, since all of you are NaBloPoMo-ing it like crazed over-achievers. Way to make me feel like a total turd.

Consider it my early birthday present

We returned home from Charleston last night after the longest day in history, passed out cold at 8:15pm, awoke to Wito shrieking at 4am this morning and continued to deal with the shriek until his doctor’s appointment when the poor guy was diagnosed with a double ear infection. (Boo you, double ear infection. BOO YOU.)

I haven’t unpacked, I haven’t finished this week’s Brita post that is due RIGHT NOW, my eyes are burning from the whopping total of 9 hours sleep I received during the entire trip, and my throat is mildly scratchy.

(Charleston, I will love you forever. Especially your shrimp grits, pecan-crusted chicken breast, fried okra, mashed potatoes, sweetened tea and pralines. All thanks to your perfect recommendations. You were not kidding about Hominy Grill and Jestine’s, people.)

So! Today has CLEARLY not been the best start to the week that just so happens to include my 4th wedding anniversary AND the birthday that will catapult me into the “mid-thirties” category, but hey, I’m rolling with it.

What’s that you say? Is there anything you can do? Why, YES! There is.

Don’t forget to vote tomorrow. VOTE VOTE VOTE.

And after you vote, please send me some vodka, this sweater and a live-in nurse.

A guitar teacher of few (yet funny) words

In response to my email:

Yeah, we spent Dan’s whole lesson going on and on about it! I’m kidding…unfortunately, I didn’t notice that Sarah but I will definitely pay more attention next time.

p.s. - He may or may not have also called me an exhibitionist. Our next lesson should be fun.

An email that you should NEVER have to send to your guitar teacher

Subject: A few things

Hey (teacher’s name),

1. It has come to my attention (via my husband as I walked in the door from my lesson) that a certain button on my shirt was not fastened this evening. Let’s just say it was a very important button that should ALWAYS STAY FASTENED. Anyway, I’m a little mortified and want to apologize to you and possibly the nice student from Nebraska for accidentally flashing either of you. Of course, this had to be the one night I stuck around and blathered about football to both of you. (I vividly remember my hands on my hips, which after careful review in my mirror was not an appropriate stance, given the state of my button.) Awesome.

2. If for some reason I didn’t flash you or the Nebraska boy, you are more than welcome to forget that you read #1.

Okay then! Carry on.

Off to buy a new shirt,
Sarah

Hot Toddy Recipe?

Picture this. You spend all evening cooking your great grandmother’s grits for the OU-Texas watch party you will be attending in the morning, even going to bed early because the game starts at 9am, only to be woken up at 3am by your little one who is literally drowning in snot, and come to think of it, your head kind of hurts and your throat is feeling a little off, so you cancel your party plans, which makes you really sad because today, TODAY is the first day in Southern California that feels like fall and you were planning to wear your favorite jeans and a new sweater you bought at J. Crew’s final sale, but it doesn’t matter now since you will be covered in crusty boogers and snot for the rest of the weekend, but a thought occurs to you, well, more like a light at the end of tunnel, and you realize that a huge cheeseburger, fries and Oreo shake from Ruby’s is pretty much the ONLY thing that will make this day better, but when you tell your husband your brilliant plan, he says, “This country is headed into a depression. We can’t eat Ruby’s”, and you die a little on the inside because you have been diligently doing the 30 Day Shred for about a month now and by god, you deserve a fucking cheeseburger, but suddenly your husband is the male version of Suze Orman.

(big breath)

So, you tell your husband that In-N-Out is pretty much the “poor man’s Ruby’s” and that eating their fine fare would hopefully not upset the delicate balance of our teetering country, and he agrees that yes, that would be fine, but then you realize that it’s only 3pm and your son won’t nap because he can’t breathe, so you hand him a huge lollipop and a Thomas the Train thing, plop him on the couch and try to figure out what in the hell you are going to do until dinner when you receive a Flickr comment from the lovely JenB that says you should definitely drink a hot toddy and you think, YES YES, that is the SALVATION I NEED, only to quickly realize that you don’t know what a hot toddy IS, although you have plenty of alcohol in your house, and then your second Oprah A-Ha™ moment of the day arrives and you think,  “I’ll ask the internet! They will give me a hot toddy recipe!”, only to realize that it’s Saturday and no one reads blogs on Saturday, but maybe, JUST MAYBE, someone out there will hear your pained cry for help.

Will you answer my prayers and tell me your favorite hot toddy recipe? PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?

Good Reads

Your book recommendations are awesome, and like a good obsessive-compulsive organizational queen, I’ve entered all of the suggestions into my Goodreads account for safekeeping. I think I shall start with Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire series because, frankly, Kristin told me they were a “jiggity jillion times better than Twilight” in the comments.  And who am I to ignore such a bold statement? A JIGGITY JILLION TIMES? Sold.

As a thank you for your recommendations (keep ‘em coming!), I am going to post a little giveaway tomorrow. A giveaway involving the cutest monogrammed object in the history of the world. I am not kidding, you will cry tears of precious joy.

I’m sobbing right now just thinking about it. Oh, wait…no, THAT would be due to Wito not taking a much-needed nap. Why is it that, in his utterly unfair eyes, a 3-minute snooze in the car is a perfectly acceptable substitute for his normal 2-hour afternoon nap? WHY? Why am I being punished for letting my child gleefully run around a dewy park all morning, only to have him conk out 5 blocks from my house and wake up mere seconds later all refreshed and shit? Once again, my attempts to keep him awake for the last mile of my drive failed miserably, and I will now pay dearly.

I mean, will you look at this?

He’s not even lying down. What ever happened to the good old college try? At least show me some effort, kid.

Oh! One more thing. Only two days left to enter my Accessories Challenge at The Working Closet. Come on, you know you want to show off your lovely accoutrements. A darling scarf could be yours…

We’re back!

Wow. This road trip has been AWESOME so far.

About one hour into the trip, Wito took two bites of my everything bagel and broke out in hives all over his entire body. We are back home at the doctor.

Viva la Road Trip!

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