Homeless

This photo is a perfect capture of the majority of my past week. Unfortunately, after a full investigation, our new home is riddled with mold and therefore, unlivable for our standards.

We are currently staying 30 minutes south of our old neighborhood with my cousin who has generously opened his home to our family, and my days have consisted of multiple trips back and forth between towns in an attempt to keep Wito’s school and playdate schedule intact. My car and I have become quite close.

Newsflash. Not having a home is the pits. I miss my bed, I miss my routine, I miss my neighborhood and I miss not feeling completely reliant on others for a roof over my head.

Hopefully we will find a new and wonderful home very soon. Onward ho!

On the Next Episode of Hoarders

While helping to empty out her husband’s storage unit, a wife makes the startling realization of just HOW MUCH mid-century furniture, accessories, objects and art he has been “collecting” over the past several years.

The perpetrator unloading the third of eleventy million cartloads.

Video Killed The Radio Star (Or my will to live, actually…)

I am truly hoping someone out there can help me with my problem. (PLEASE HELP!)

I shoot video on a Flip Mino HD. I love it.

While reviewing my unedited video on QuickTime, the quality looks great.

Enter iMovie.

After editing, adding some captions and maybe a song or two, I’ll export the file in full quality.

The video always looks like shit. Grainy. A little blurry. Definitely NOT HD quality anymore.

What am I doing wrong? This issue literally consumed my weekend.

Can you help? Wito would be thrilled to have his mother back.

How to Make an Interior Designer Crap His Pants

Today marks a very sad day for my husband.

I noticed a lovely addition to a new piece of art in our living room this morning.

Need a close up?

Black crayon. You can pay your respects to D in the comments.

(I think it’s pretty funny, but let’s just keep that between you and me.)

Dear Target

I have a bone to pick with you, Target. First off, I would like you to know that I am a very nice person who enjoys giving the benefit of the doubt. You are a very popular store. I get it.

However, why must it be so difficult for you to keep my meager list of needed items in stock? Will the glorious day ever arrive when I can cross off 100% of the items on my shopping list before exiting your store? For instance, WHY OH GOD WHY is it so hard for you to keep Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths on your shelves? You have 3,000 Dove Moisturizing Face Cloths and 14,000 Dove Deep Clean Face Cloths sitting right there in front of my face, mocking me. All I need is ONE BOX of Sensitive Skin Cloths. WHHYYYYYYY?

Funny story, Target. Do you realize that the primary reason I started using Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths was because you couldn’t keep the Oil of Olay Sensitive Face Cloths on the shelves? So, after much trial and tribulation, I finally found a new brand that didn’t make my skin weep and always seemed to be in stock? But NOW, the Dove ones are always sold out? Do you know how this makes me feel, Target? It makes me feel very shaky. Isn’t that a funny story, Target? Not so much funny ha-ha, but funny stab stab STAB.

Same with deodorant. (Why is it so difficult for me to spell deodorant without spell check? Am I the only one?) I have long been a user of Secret Powder Fresh or “Protecting Powder” deodorant (p.s. – Secret, please stop changing the names. You are confusing me.), yet it has been virtually impossible to find on your shelves. I have spent many, many cumulative hours searching though the sea of Secret deodorants: Vanilla, Rockstar Rose, Tutti-Frutti, Wild Jasmine, Cherry Mischief (seriously, WHO wants their armpits to smell like fucking fruit?), Truth or Pear, Sparkly Shit, WHATEVER. JUST GIVE ME MY OLD SCHOOL POWDER FRESH, PEEPS.

Yet, no dice. So, once again, I changed my personal preference to ensure an In Stock Status. Secret Unscented seemed to be the wise choice, considering there are usually 325 Unscented ones on your shelves at all times. Also, who knew that I would actually enjoy not making my armpits smell like a fabricated freshly-washed baby’s ass? It’s liberating, I tell you!

I bet you know where this is going, don’t you? Over the past couple of months, I can’t find a Secret Unscented to save my life.

Target, I’m beginning to think you are toying with me, knowing that I must visit you in order to buy all of my Method cleaning products. What’s a girl gotta do to get some health and beauty product love?

Sincerely,

Whoorl

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