Moving Right Along

We’re moving in 5 days.

This is the extent of my packing. Good progress, right?

(HOLY SHIT. HELP ME.)

Mama Likes Beards

Go ahead, scrunch up your face in utter disgust. Your fake gagging attempts do not phase me.

I find men with beards insanely sexy and will shout it from the hilltops! BEARDS! BEARDS! BEEEEEARDS!

(For the record, I do not appreciate moustaches, goatees or soul patches/flavor savors.)

(Oh, and the beard needs to be well-groomed with no sort of crazy growth. Kind of like my friend Brandon, a fellow Desperate Blogger.)

Wait. Why am I telling you all this?

Oh, RIGHT. Guess who is hosting this week’s Friday Eye Candy at Mamapop! And guess what all of my picks have in common! Go see for yourself.

(Seriously. Am I the ONLY person who loves beards?)

Parenting Confessional – Part 3

1. On Monday, Wito’s lunch consisted of some Cheerios and string cheese because I wanted to eat HIS beloved leftovers from a Mexican restaurant the night before.

2. I get secretly pissed when he announces that he doesn’t like the song playing in my car. I HAVE STELLAR TASTE IN MUSIC, KID. ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE THAT.

3. Wito calls cereal bars (Nutri-Grain bars and such) “handlebars”. I know I am supposed to correct him, but there is nothing cuter than a kid asking for a strawberry handlebar. Carry on, son!

4. If I’m looking like a disheveled mess and/or hobo and need to run errands, I prefer to take Wito so that strangers will assume I look this way from being an overworked parent. Truth is, I probably spent all of my primping time reading Harper’s Bazaar and rearranging my shoe collection.

Parenting Confessional – Part 2

It’s Friday, which means it’s time to make a few more confessions.

1. I go back and forth daily over whether or not we should have another child.

2. I spread peanut butter and jelly all the way to the very edges of the crusts, knowing that Wito won’t eat them and I can feast on his soggy leftovers. I am so gross.

3. Resourceful as I am, I have no freaking clue how to potty train my child. Do you teach boys to potty sitting down or standing up? SOMEONE TELL ME.

4. I think half-day preschools that charge $8,000/year are totally ridiculous. For that kind of money, my child better be reciting the periodic table in French while cooking me an omelette.

Parenting Confessional

1. I still wear my special sexpot lipstick combination (NARS Dolce Vita and Chanel Pagoda Glossimer) when I visit the hot pediatrician.

2. I’ve completely stopped trying to feed Wito vegetables and I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty.

3. I only live 20 minutes away, but I still haven’t taken Wito to Disneyland. (A colossal SoCal parent no-no. Quelle horreur!)

4. The Backyardigans is on my television WAY too much. (Proof.)

5. If I go on one more preschool tour, I’m going to vomit.

I already feel better. Feel free to add your personal confession and you will be absolved completely. Peace be with you.