My Thoughts on Infant Hair Accessories

From what I gather, some people don’t take too well to their offspring being identified as the opposite sex. I happen to think most infants look rather unisex, so this issue has never bothered me personally. Why, just a couple of weeks ago, a lady referred to Wito as a girl. HE IS FOUR. (What can I say? He’s purdy.) However, it seems that the baby-girl-being-called-a-boy thing is a much more prominent point of contention.

This must be why so many parents put horrific bow-type headbands on newborn girls. Look at meeee! I’m a girl! SEE MY PINK FLUFFY BOW??? Here’s what I’m thinking. If you don’t possess hair, you probably don’t need a hair accessory. Additionally, if a hair accessory needs to be attached with tape or velcro, you might want to reevaluate your decision-making process. Here, let me help you!

A headband to hold hair back and/or accentuate a hairstyle? GOOD.

A headband to cut off blood supply to a 3-month-old’s bald noggin? BAD.

(I feel strongly on the matter.)

(And don’t get me started on shooting stainless steel studs through a baby girl’s ears. GAH.)

Who Needs Baby Gear When You Possess These Treasures?

Well, you guys are just full of great insight these days. (And D would like to thank the 12% of you who had his back on the marriage poll. heh) A huge thanks for all of the great advice last week regarding Wita’s sleeping arrangements for the first couple of months. Not only did you help me to make a purchase, but you actually changed my mind. (Which is next to impossible. Truly.) To be honest, I was all but french kissing the Cariboo Bassinet at the time I wrote that post. I was 98% sold on the product, regardless of cost, but figured I would post about my dilemma just for the hell of it.

BUT YOU CHANGED MY MIND, FOLKS. AND SAVED ME MONEY. (Love you, kiss kiss!)

However, we will return to that subject shortly.

This past weekend was spent cleaning and arranging our garage to make room for both of our cars. In the past, D (aka the “Mid Century Modern Hoarder“) has housed many of his goodies in the garage, thus leaving room for only one vehicle. This has secretly driven me batty, for I can’t stand clutter, stacks, or any shit lying around that is not being actively used.

Within days of moving to our new neighborhood, we found out that our Homeowners Association will not allow vehicles on the street. The only way you can keep a car in the street permanently is if you own three cars, at which point you must actually PHOTOGRAPH two cars in the garage before requesting a permit. Naturally, this news was rather disappointing to D, but for me? IT WAS THE BEST NEWS OF MY LIFE. D was being forced to clean out his “treasures!” HAHAHAHAA HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH.

Although D had to do most of the rearranging and cleaning, don’t think for a second that I didn’t sit out there watching him like a hawk the entire time. “Are you trying to hide that box of CDs from 1991?”, “Do you really need 49 wooden frames?” and “Do you envision yourself actively using that 8-foot-long wooden Hungarian spatula in the immediate future?” were common questions coming out of my mouth over the course of the past 48 hours.

However! It got me thinking. Who needs a bunch of new baby gear when I can use some of D’s treasures instead?

Take this lovely basket.

Forget using a Bjorn, wrap or ring sling…just pop your tiny infant into this bad boy and call it a day!

Ooooh, so comfortable. Don’t worry if your newborn starts crying while stuffed in there, those are just tears of joy.

Got an early 20th century dough bowl lying around the house? Hell, WHO DOESN’T?

Helloooo! Perfect baby bed! Concerned about splinters? Just throw some bubble wrap in there and you’re good to go.

Look at the happiness exuding from Louise the Chicken! She loves her new baby bed!

As much as the dough bowl baby bed warmed my heart, I did end up buying the Arms Reach Mini Co-Sleeper due to some incredibly convincing comments and emails from you all. And once again, this purchase truly confirms what I’ve known all along. A parental tagline of sorts…

BABY GEAR: SOMETIMES THE FUGLY OPTION IS THE BETTER CHOICE.

I’m dealing with it.

Moving Right Along

We’re moving in 5 days.

This is the extent of my packing. Good progress, right?

(HOLY SHIT. HELP ME.)

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