Wow. That is the cheesiest post title I have ever written. (Although, Zeus? Hera? Where’s the God of Teeth when you need him? and Memories, Light The Corner Of My Mind are additional fine options.)
I just don’t know where to begin. I mean, do you all even KNOW ME anymore? No, no, I don’t think you do, and the only way to remedy the situation is a quick post filled with written diarrhea.
Let’s see. I just returned from a quick trip to Denver and Boulder. As you may or may not know, my husband graduated from the University of Colorado and we wanted to check out his old stomping grounds while meeting up with his brother’s family. (Which included the most delicious 6-month-old ever.) The weather was beautiful, the leaves were starting to change, the air was crisp and the food was tasty.
We poked around neighborhoods and parks and generally fell over dead when we saw the housing prices. Houses that would easily be over the 2 million dollar mark in my beach community were literally, dare I say, remotely AFFORDABLE. Frankly, it makes me wonder, is the beach that worth it? Is the year-round perfect weather that worth it? Will I live in a small bungalow FOREVER AND EVER, GOD HELP ME?
Wait! That’s not all! The women? At the beautiful Colorado parks? Were NATURALLY attractive. NOT shot up with Botox, sporting blond extensions and Juicy Couture track suits! I did not see one bright yellow Hummer or flaming red Aston Martin. The people were friendly! With not a hint of passive aggressiveness!
OH MY GOD, Orange County, you are slowly killing my will to live.
(See? This is when I think I should continue not updating my blog. Do you really want to read this drivel?)
Also, I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit that I am almost physically ill that I finished reading the Twilight series. What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Blog or something? I love Edward and Bella, and I could care less if people think it was a poorly-written series because I could NOT put it down. Being a huge Anne Rice fan, I thought I would scoff at these books, but I loved them, oh how I loved them. Is there going to be a 5th book? Please, someone MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY. If you absolutely loved Twilight, do you have any other books that you recommend I read? I belong to Goodreads, but I get lost in all of the millions and trillions of suggestions.
(Also, does anyone else wonder if by reading and thinking about vampires, you are sending out some sort of other-worldly wavelength for the vampires to come find you? No? Just forget I mentioned it.)
Now, if you are looking for something to make you laugh your ever-loving ass off, might I recommend Cringe by the lovely Sarah Brown? It’s a compilation of grade and high school journal entries that are some of the most hilarious pages I’ve read in any book.
(But I don’t WANT funny now! I want Edward and Bella! Wah.)
Help me find some sort of substitute before I am forced to read The Witching Hour for the fifth time.