Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I hope you will allow me to wax poetic on relationships for a bit.
I mentioned that one of my 2012 resolutions was to rid myself of toxic relationships. I wrote about disingenuous and pot-stirring ones, but what about the relationships that always seem to bring you down? The friendships in which you don’t feel comfortable sharing happy news for fear of the negative reaction coming your way? Whether it be blatant negativity or passive aggressive jabs, it seems that we all have people like this in our life. My question to you is, WHY are these people in our life?
My wise parents taught me at a very young age that these kind of interactions are rarely about the recipient. When I would come home from school, upset about a mean-spirited statement, they would always say, “It’s not about you, it’s about them.” There could be a myriad of reasons why a person would want to rain on your parade, but it’s very, very rarely about you. My parents have branded that into my psyche. Hurtful jabs really don’t have that much to do with you.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve always kept that in the back of my mind, but in a way, it has allowed me to make apologies for this behavior. “Oh, he/she didn’t mean it, they are just having a rough time, ” or “They are dealing with some deeply-rooted insecurities regarding the issue” are some things I tell myself when I’m the recipient of such jabs. But you know what? I shouldn’t be making excuses for it. Hurtful, mean-spirited comments from a “friend” are hurtful and mean-spirited. Period, end of story.
One of the most important gifts you could ever give is to “lift your friends higher.” When something wonderful is happening to a friend, I want to be their #1 supporter, and on the flip side, nothing makes me happier than to share good news with a friend who celebrates with me. I can’t get over how many smart, talented and beautiful women (and men!) I have the pleasure to call friends. It’s insane, really. So many people doing such amazing things with their lives, and I feel so grateful when I can be a personal witness.
So! I have a couple of things to ask of you. If you are dealing with this kind of negativity from a friend, ask yourself, “is it worth it?” If you are constantly pumping positivity into a relationship, but only receiving negativity in return, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. You guys, if I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s that today could be your last. We’re only here once. This is it. Make every day your best. Lift people higher.
(I truly don’t know where all this motivational speaker biznass is coming from, but let’s roll with it, peeps!)
Here’s the most important part. I think, due to the above-mentioned negative behavior, that many of us tend to keep quiet about our achievements. I can’t even tell you how many times, when asked about a recent accomplishment, I look down at my feet and kick imaginary dirt, muttering something about being lucky or “I don’t know how it happened.” Well, on this lovely Valentine’s day, let’s change that. I want to hear about an accomplishment that YOU are proud of achieving – no self-deprecation, no kicking the dirt, just straight up pride, folks. It could be anything from emptying the dishwasher three nights in a row to winning a Pulitzer. Professional or personal, whatever.
Here, I’ll start. Deep breath.
Hi, I’m Sarah and I am PROUD of the hard work and consistent focus that I have put into writing my blogs for the past seven years. I know that the amazing opportunities coming my way are not luck, but a direct reflection of that commitment and focus.
Damn, that felt good! Now, it’s your turn. Don’t be shy, you guys. Reading these comments will make my week!