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So You Think You Can Dance - Blogher Edition

Written by whoorl · Filed Under call me quirky, happy happy joy joy, cronies, photos 

I had such a fantastic time at Blogher. In a teeny nutshell, I was just so thrilled to be surrounded by smart, hilarious and well-rounded women instead of wiping dookie booty all day. (Can I get an AMEN?)

I think my personal high (LOW! LOW!) point of the weekend had to be “dancing” at the Mighty Haus launch party. Now, one would think that upon being invited to a party hosted by the lovely Maggie Mason, you would keep a certain air of composure about yourself as you navigate through the space and guests. And I did that…for about the first hour or so.

It’s just that people started to dance. And I really didn’t WANT to dance, but bodies were filing onto the dance floor and my adrenaline started pumping, and well, you’ll see.

Lucky for you, after noticing some photos on Flickr (thanks to Greeblemonkey and Mrs. Flinger), I can recreate this atrocity for your viewing pleasure with a mere five photos.

Photo #1:

dance.jpg

There I am, making my way onto the dance floor. You can smell the determination in the air, can’t you?

Photo #2:

dance2.jpg

Here is my trademark warm-up maneuver. I like to walk around the floor, clapping my hands next to my ear, much like the Paso Doble. Look how Heather is rendered helpless by my matador-like movement. There is no denying it, she wants me.

Photo #3:

dance3.jpg

After the blood starts pumping, I launch into a contemporary performance art piece that Mia Michaels might as well have choreographed herself. Now, to the untrained eye, it seems I’m attempting the Charleston, but check out the back of my shirt. See how it’s airborne? This could only mean I’m at the tail end of David Lee Roth-type jumping maneuver. Leslie and Alana are AMAZED by my dancing prowess.

Photo #4:

dance5.jpg

Seriously, I have no idea.

Photo #5:

dance4.jpg

The pièce de résistance. My beloved Sprinkler maneuver. Let’s chat about this photo for a second.

1. Take notice of my face color. No, not reddish purple from embarrassment, but from INTENSITY. The Sprinkler is no joke, people.

2. I wonder, am I actually singing AND dancing at the same time? Or is it more of a guttural grunt, much like Serena Williams playing tennis?

3. My shirt buttons are literally holding on for dear life. Like I said, such is the Intensity of The Sprinkler.

4. The crotch of my pants is halfway down to my knees. This can only mean that the Van Halen jumps have loosened my pants considerably.

5. Will you marvel at my hand form? Mary Murphy would have nothing but praise for my lines.

All in all, I’m wondering about SYTYCD’s age limit for auditions because I am SO THERE NEXT YEAR.

42 Responses to “So You Think You Can Dance - Blogher Edition”

  1. LawyerishNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:22 pm

    You are extremely awesome.

    Also, could you BELIEVE the results last night?? I am INCREDULOUS.

    (I’m not getting into specifics in case there is anyone reading who has not seen it yet).

    But STILL. OMG.

  2. Backpacking DadNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:26 pm

    #4 looks like you are just about to draw your right hand back across your eyes in the Imaginary Mask Vee position (aka the Sensual Bandit).

    Only a professional should attempt that while going faster than shutter-speed, as you clearly were.

  3. sizzleNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:29 pm

    I wish I had been there in person. I feel like I’m missing out on the ENERGY of the dance here. ;-)

  4. AngelaNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:34 pm

    I am kicking myself in the ASS right now for leaving before The Sprinkler. DAMNIT!

  5. RhiNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:35 pm

    This has made my afternoon, and I love you for it. That is all.

  6. aliNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:37 pm

    how did i miss this????!?!?! oh yes…we were stealing cheetos…

  7. moosh in indy.No Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:44 pm

    Why was I not at THAT party? Why did I get stuck at the ones where NO ONE was dancing?

  8. KristinNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 3:45 pm

    Hilarious. What’s really impressive is that your hair still looks great.

  9. JoraNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 4:38 pm

    Oh my god. I haven’t laughed out loud like that in awhile. Thank you, thank you for this!! p.s. glad you had a good time not wiping dookie booty.

  10. metaliaNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 4:44 pm

    Hahaaaa. AWESOME. I say you deserve a ticket on…THE HOT TAMALE TRAINNNNNN [insert nonsensical, unintelligible shrieking here]!.

    (PS: I’m still not over what happened last night. Seriously.)

  11. Nothing But BonfiresNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 4:56 pm

    Even seeing it in person could not compare with seeing it in these five shots. Amazing.

  12. carolineNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 5:14 pm

    Bwahhhhhhhhhhh. That is simply a gorgeous sight to behold!

    I’d be remiss not to thank your mother, whose many hot dance moves (the shopping cart, holla!) have taught you well.

  13. reganNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 5:37 pm

    I rock the Sprinkler too! We should get together at next year’s BlogHer and have a synchronized Sprinkler routine.

  14. AngellaNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 7:00 pm

    This *almost* makes me wish I had joined in instead of snickering on the sidelines.

    Almost.

    Besides, I don’t have half of the moves that you do.

  15. MichelleNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 7:22 pm

    “The Sprinkler” - that’s hilarious :o) And the “Paso Doble”….so funny! Glad you had fun at Blogher! Your HT with the adorable Aussie was super, btw :o) Take care!

  16. JanssenNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 9:21 pm

    Holy crap, you rock, woman. I wish I could just be that awesome - instead I’m always the one feeling like a fool.

  17. bethanyNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 9:57 pm

    Oh, lawsie…funny lady, I swear, you be killin me! I really MUST become popular and make it to BlogHer one day. The low riding crotch pic is my fav. Hahahaha! You are on my hot tamale train…….GOD, I can’t believe I just said that. Mary Murphy gives me hives! But I love the show, and miss my sweet Courtney and Gev:( But that’s neither here nor there. Glad you had a blast!

  18. KailiNo Gravatar

    July 25th, 2008 11:40 pm

    Haha! Awesome! Love the sprinkler!

  19. ChandraNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 6:06 am

    Ahhh….. thanks for the morning laugh while I’m wiping dooky bootie.

  20. Camels & ChocolateNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 9:08 am

    OMG, you kill me. I’m choking from laughter after reading this. I’ll be sending you my hospital bill.

  21. Mrs. FlingerNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 11:44 am

    Possibly THE BEST RECAP EVAH. Dying here. Love Dying. XO

  22. KarenNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 12:49 pm

    You are on that “Hot Tamale Train” baby… but despite the moves, I think it’s the hair that would get you the most votes. Beaut-i-licious!

    Blogher ‘09, you gotta save a dance for me ;)

  23. krisNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 1:23 pm

    Yeah, see? I didn’t have the full-on “I can’t believe I effing missed BlogHer” ache until I saw these. You rock. ‘09 it is.

  24. Domestic DivaNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 3:23 pm

    nice “moves” and i use that term loosely. It looks like you had a ton of fun though.

  25. Aimee GreeblemonkeyNo Gravatar

    July 26th, 2008 11:15 pm

    I am alternating between laughing, smiling, laughing, smiling, laughing smiling and wanting to fly you here to Denver to start all over again.

  26. DeidreNo Gravatar

    July 28th, 2008 1:02 am

    Haha…I do not have your sprinkler-ing prowess and only resort to it in times of great need. However, I rock the running man something fierce.

  27. angeliqueNo Gravatar

    July 28th, 2008 6:14 am

    delurking to say: so good! thanks for sharing.

  28. JoraNo Gravatar

    July 28th, 2008 7:18 am

    One more thing: if you ever get a “Favorite Posts” section, this MUST go at the top of the list!

  29. CalealNo Gravatar

    July 28th, 2008 1:12 pm

    I am, quite literally, in awe of the fierceness that is the sprinkler.

  30. rebeccaNo Gravatar

    July 29th, 2008 9:01 am

    Sorry I missed the dancing Whoorl! I love the red-faced sprinkler picture… it is AWESOME.

  31. Shamelessly SassyNo Gravatar

    July 29th, 2008 10:32 am

    Who can resist the sprinkler?

  32. Kerri AnneNo Gravatar

    July 29th, 2008 5:50 pm

    The Sprinkler is one of my all-time favorite dance moves ever. That and The Roger Rabbit. Oh yeah, baby.

  33. LaurieNo Gravatar

    July 29th, 2008 6:56 pm

    Okay, yeah, but your hair looked totally righteous, sistah!

  34. KristabellaNo Gravatar

    July 30th, 2008 3:53 pm

    Oh, I’m so mad I missed it. I blame Stara and her idea to steal Cheetos.

  35. laurieNo Gravatar

    July 30th, 2008 6:07 pm

    That was so much fun. Surreally fun. :)

  36. LODNo Gravatar

    July 30th, 2008 7:57 pm

    I arrived too late to witness this firsthand. The disappointment lingers.

  37. Jessica (kerflop)No Gravatar

    July 31st, 2008 8:10 pm

    Oh you only think you look bad dancing. Might I remind you of the white girl’s running man I proudly displayed last year at blogher? Run, run for your lives: http://flickr.com/photos/10842971@N07/979788420/

  38. Filtering LifeNo Gravatar

    August 1st, 2008 11:51 am

    I think it is a well known fact that to perform the sprinkler to it’s peak you need to put the left hand behind the head and the right arm perpendicular to the trunk of your torso….tisk, tisk. A few points deducted for technique, but over all performance….HOTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

  39. Paper Dolls for BoysNo Gravatar

    August 3rd, 2008 7:22 pm

    You are so much cooler than Mia Micheals!

  40. kyranNo Gravatar

    August 4th, 2008 4:17 pm

    I admired it all from the outside looking in, but I think number four really helps me get into the mind of whoorl.

    also, reminds me of Jefferson airplane. When you are ten feet tall.

  41. In the Trenches of MommyhoodNo Gravatar

    August 5th, 2008 8:41 am

    To me, photo #4 looks like the ultimate John Travolta/Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction dance maneuver.

  42. JennNo Gravatar

    August 5th, 2008 9:02 pm

    I guess I have been living under a rock because I just found you and, well, I love you.