When will the REAL American Idol start? I’m so tired of watching losers do their thing.
Am I destined to use this old ratty broken-screen iBook forever since I spilled half a glass of water on my brand new beautiful Powerbook yesterday and I am not allowed to turn it on for 24 more hours according to a very helpful genius at the The Genius Bar? Do you understand the suspense of waiting 48 hours to turn on your computer to see if it MIGHT have survived a major water spill? And the ramifications of ruining a $2,000 laptop? All because your STUPID ELBOW KNOCKED OVER THE GLASS OF WATER THAT YOU HAD TO HAVE ON YOUR DESK BECAUSE YOUR SHITTY PREGNANCY-INDUCED HEADACHES ARE SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO DRINKING A GALLON OF WATER A DAY?
Am I going to catch every single cold virus that is circulating in Orange County this season?
Is Daniel going to win on Project Runway? Because I have a crush. BIG crush. I’ll be his little orchid muse anyday.
Should I tell you the sex of my baby since I have known for over a week and it’s killing me but the ultrasound was really early so I want to make sure? Even though the tech and nurses were all willing to bet money on the fact that IT IS SOOOO A <<<>>>? I was going to post my new ultrasounds for you all to see for yourselves, but they are held hostage on my Powerbook. And we all understand that won’t happen for 24 MORE HOURS if it happens at all. Oh pleeeeeeease let my laptop be OK.