B+ Parenting Update

24

Y’ALL. I made some strides in my B+ parenting project.

However, first off, I feel it necessary to delve into the roots of my Type A behavior. The Type A and Type B personality theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, orderly, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. Now, I’m certainly not all of those things (I hope), but I definitely feel the impatient, orderly, and time-conscious pangs regularly.

Let’s just get it out there. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, my friends. Yes, you heard me, MOM AND DAD. Lately, my father’s Type A behavior has fallen into the “orderly” realm. Within one hour of my Cheerios post, I received this email.

Saroo, please tell me you’ve picked the Cheerios off the floor. Love, yo dad

This is from the man who empties all 49 trash receptacles in his home on an hourly basis. How dare a trash can be filled with a remnant of waste, people! Preposterous! Trash receptacles NEED TO BE EMPTY AT ALL TIMES. My father also spends 57% of his waking hours bent at a 90-degree angle cleaning spots invisible to the human eye off the kitchen floor. Did I tell you about last Christmas? How upon throwing something in a small trash can under the sink, he reprimanded me for using that particular trash receptacle? And when I pressed him for why that was a problem, he replied with “that trash can is for decorative purposes only?” HAAAAAAAAA. God, I love that man. (Did I also tell you that one of my very favorite activities to engage in at my parent’s house is to walk around and drop singular pieces of wadded-up toilet paper in each and every trash can? Yep. Asshole!)

My mother’s Type A behavior falls into the “time-conscious” realm. For instance, during my childhood years, if we weren’t at the airport 4-5 hours in advance of our departing flight, the SHIT HIT THE FAN. How I remember those long hours once we arrived at the airport….staring off into space, being asked if I needed to use the potty 3,679 times, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, writing a lengthy novel, growing an inch or two…those were the days. As for my mother’s day-to-day grind, being on time means arriving 20-30 minutes early and sitting in the parking lot, the possibility of traffic or weather-related delays is hand-wringing, and being 5 minutes late is coronary infarction-inducing. This woman is on a Prompt Mission, and is not to be messed with in any way, shape or form.

My sister is also a Type A personality, which manifests in the “business-like” realm. Don’t mess with this girl’s budgeting skills, people. She puts Suze Orman to shame. Lala knows where every penny of her income has gone for the past 10 years, and can quote her monthly expenditures from 2002 without batting an eyelash. She loves an orderly house too, mind you. While we were visiting Oklahoma, Lala threw a fantastic housewarming party at her new home. (For the Okies out there, she got Big Truck Tacos to park their truck in her driveway and feed all of her drunk guests. Freaking fantastically delicious!) We were all up into the wee weeeee hours of the morning, yet Lala was up and at ‘em early the next morning. Doing what, you ask? Oh, just STEAM CLEANING THE KITCHEN FLOORS IN HER PAJAMAS. (Which, by the way, you all need to get yourselves one of these steam mopping contraptions, especially if you don’t like using conventional household cleaners. Holy crap, awesomeness.)

Yep. We’re Type A all up in here. However, ALL of us would vehemently deny being Type A if one of the characteristics was lacking of a sense of humor. We live it, love it and laugh at ourselves regularly.

Now, for my Very Exciting Type B+ Update.

#1 – I totally forgot to take Wito to his summer school class yesterday. Just up and forgot that he was enrolled in summer school, I suppose. Unfortunately, it happened to be on the day they celebrated Wet and Wild day in bathing suits with lots of popsicles. Uh, sorry about that, Wito.

#2 – I have now moved on from allowing Wita’s food particles to rest on the floor for more than 20 seconds to the next dimension. Here’s the deal – Wita lives for throwing food on the floor. Scratch that – Wita lives for picking up a piece of food, getting my full attention, and THEN throwing the piece of food on the floor while maintaining wickedly intense eye contact and laughing maniacally. She’s a delight, that one.

Now? I let her throw all of her food on the floor, take her out of the highchair, place her on the floor, and let her go to town on the food particles down there.

I, Sarah of Whoorl, regularly let my baby eat her entire dinner off the floor. BOW TO THE B+ GODDESS. Although, dude, that could be considered B- or dare I say C- parenting! I’m on FIRE! Maybe that’s why she’s had a mystery fever for the past three days! Eating Off The Floor Disease! Who knows? The possibilities are endless!

Disclaimer: I steam-mop my floors like a son of a bitch. Those floors are spankin’ clean, God as my witness.



COMMENTS (24)

Comments

  1. Kathleen @ Sugar and Spice says:

    You are awesome, God as my witness.

  2. What a way to start my day. I’ve shared that I love your dad. I now love him even more.

    My issue is that I’m a type A, who seems to have fallen into C mode… trying to get back up to B!!

    A dog (who was formerly an outside dog), a 13 year old boy (nuff said), an 8 year old socialite/martha stewart/betty crocker, a husband who’s always working on some project or another… I couldn’t keep up. So- point of this long comment- 1) I need to get that mop contraption! 2) I need to get back to a B and not feel guilty about it!

    Love hearing about your progress and your type A family roots :).

  3. Love this, but it left me dying to know…what steam mop do you use? I had the Shark and it died after a year. Bummer.

    Jenny, I use the one I linked to in the post (I like mine so far, but I haven’t had it for long), but my sister uses this one and loves it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Haan-Light-Cleaning-Sanitizer-Steamer/dp/B001F2G20O/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1310050554&sr=8-2

  4. I was gonna say, your floors can’t be that dirty so it’s probably like Wita eating off a clean plate when she eats off your floor. ;-)

    I am Type A all the way. I’m trying to loosen up. But I like my house clean! And I like to be on time! And I like to have lists!

    (Recovery is slow for me, obviously.)

  5. I don’t think I’d be able to let my kiddo eat off the floor, simply for the fact that we have two Boston Terriers that put every cleaning apparatus to shame. I don’t think food even hits the floor :)

  6. Love it…Keep it going. Your really do her a favor by building her immune system :)

  7. Saroo, you forgot one very important point. List making and the fact that if I do something not on my list, I add the errand so I can mark it off. Is that weird?

    No mom, not weird. CRUCIAL.

  8. bishOp stu tu says:

    Saroo…

    Recently I’ve become very unsettled by water spots on the counters. Water can become breeding grounds for insects, like maggots and crocodiles.

    Of course TRASH causes PLAGUES…black, brown and otherwise…and cancer.

    Godliness is next to Cleanliness, as well you know, and a dollar saved is TWO earned…(that’s for Sweet LaLa)…

    And…I was normal pre-ZiZi….make a list, check it thrice.

    tankee, yo dAd

    Insects and maggots and crocodiles, oh my! Tankee and chezigs.

  9. MichelleLG says:

    you ARE on fire with the baby-eats-off-floor thing even if it IS the cleanest floor in town)- amazeballs!

    also, in a short story related to Wito’s missed Wet and WIld day. I have vivid memories of attending such a day at preschool camp. we arrive and realize that my mom has forgotten about said day and neglected to bring my swimsuit. it took about 5 minutes of sitting on the sidelines (in my denim jumper and jelly shoes) before i lost all modesty and spent the rest of the day doing slip-n-slide and water balloon fights IN MY UNDIES. :o) can’t keep a good kid down.

  10. Okay. That is freakin funny.

    I just got my 5 year old to stop sucking her thumb…yesterday. Of course now the dental appliance that is facilitating this miraculous event is causing her to salivate like a Saint Bernard. I have had so many cringe worthy moments in the last 24 hours I am ready to be done. It takes how many days to break a habit?

    Shannon – Uh, I might need to know more about the dental appliance for your 5-year-old. You see, I have a FRIEND who might need it….

  11. am'ti b says:

    i miss my steamer off this week to get a new one, you are not budget friendly! was lala a tidy teenager, b/c her house was spic and span! think of it this way wita will an easy going california girl.

  12. To Zizi- not weird at all! I totally add to my list just to cross it off; its one of the most rewarding sensations!

  13. I exhibit, um, most of these characteristics, including writing tasks on my list after I’ve already done them, just so I can cross them off. I’m in awe of the strides you’re making!

  14. I have that steam mop as well! I like it but my house isn’t quite perfect for steam mopping. Plus, our floor is cheap linoleum so it’s a mess all the time. But at least it dries quickly!

  15. My 21-month old daughter does the exact same thing! Keeps the eye contact while throwing her food on the floor. Drives me freaking crazy…I have not achieved B+ status and don’t know how to be “ok” with this behaviour!

  16. What steam mop do you use? I’m in the market.

  17. OH DUH. You answered that.

  18. Iowamom says:

    Good for you! B+ all the way!

  19. I came back to forward your post to a friend (told her about the mop). I’m feeling that I need to find the candyman video and first forward that as a prerequisite to this post- even though it has nothing to do with the mop. (weird??)

    And then I read your parent’s comments. (glad I came back,,, & ordering the mop now!)

  20. Ohmygosh! I loved this post. I think B+ parenting rocks. I also think you’ll have some relaxed, happy, well-adjusted children.
    (and the clean floor disclaimer doesn’t hurt!)

  21. I met you at this party in OKC! I was part of the fan club! I don’t know what type of person I am all I know is your family is the best! Lala is one of the funniest people I know and your dear Mom…she’s always a delight and right on time! So B+ or C-….you all are doing something right!
    So nice to meet you…now if I could have just talked you into showing me how to blow dry my hair right! Lala said that was borderline creepy so I held back :)

  22. After my son saw the cat eating her treats off the floor the took his mandarin orange pieces put them on floor and ate them like her. I just cringed and told him not to and he laughed at me. I thought the staff at his daycare would think I was raising a wolf, but apparently it’s not that uncommon for kids to eat off the floor and they didn’t bat an eye when advised them of his new found habit.

  23. i am laughing like a mad woman right about now…awesome. but i have to admit, i might also be your father’s daughter, as i can’t stand anything in my little garbage cans around the house either…i’m not proud. it’s a sickness i tell ya!

    good work on the B+ parenting lady!
    xox

  24. Honestly, I can’t stop reading this post. I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH. And, also, I identify with your mother’s variety of type A to a T. My awareness of time and punctuality addiction is rather scary.