1. I have been a little under the weather for the past couple of days, but I can confidently say that the 22 Jamba Juice Coldbusters have done their job.
2. However, I woke up sounding like Kathleen Turner this morning.
3. Which is kind of cool because my fellow Blogher attendees might think I have a deep, sultry voice.
4. So, I am purposely shouting around the house. You know, to keep the pipes rusty. “WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY, WITO? YOU WANT A BA-BA? A BAAAAA-BAAAAAA?” *uncontrollable hacking* “OHHHHHHHHHH-KLAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAAAINNNNNNN!”
5. I am super excited about meeting all of the cool chicas.
6. However, I am scared that everyone will think I’m a self-mutilator or in a highly-charged domestic abuse situation due to all of the cuts and bruises on my legs and arms.
7. I am trying to remind myself that I will be around these people for several days, so they can witness my clumsiness firsthand. I have issues with running into tables, slamming my fingers in doors, tripping over air, etc. Hence the 49 bruises.
8. I have packed 5 pairs of shoes, and I’ve heard talk of that number being excessive. I think I’ve exercised great restraint.
9. I will miss my boys terribly.
10. But don’t hold it against me if I forget their names for a brief second. Alcohol + Jitters = Early-Onset Alzheimer’s Disease.