My Thoughts on Infant Hair Accessories

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From what I gather, some people don’t take too well to their offspring being identified as the opposite sex. I happen to think most infants look rather unisex, so this issue has never bothered me personally. Why, just a couple of weeks ago, a lady referred to Wito as a girl. HE IS FOUR. (What can I say? He’s purdy.) However, it seems that the baby-girl-being-called-a-boy thing is a much more prominent point of contention.

This must be why so many parents put horrific bow-type headbands on newborn girls. Look at meeee! I’m a girl! SEE MY PINK FLUFFY BOW??? Here’s what I’m thinking. If you don’t possess hair, you probably don’t need a hair accessory. Additionally, if a hair accessory needs to be attached with tape or velcro, you might want to reevaluate your decision-making process. Here, let me help you!

A headband to hold hair back and/or accentuate a hairstyle? GOOD.

A headband to cut off blood supply to a 3-month-old’s bald noggin? BAD.

(I feel strongly on the matter.)

(And don’t get me started on shooting stainless steel studs through a baby girl’s ears. GAH.)



COMMENTS (48)

Comments

  1. I have felt that way since my oldest daughter was born. I’m very opinionated about it as well!! She is 17 now and never was subjected to the baby head garland!

  2. I’m with you! They are children not accessories and not Christmas trees.

  3. i am so with you on this!! i think that baby headbands are ridiculous looking. i never put one on my daughter and she survived just fine. i’m also one who thinks that she didn’t need to be dressed in all pink just because she’s a girl. i definitely bought some boy onesies that had puppies on them. she didn’t know or care! she sure looked cute though.

  4. I could not agree more! GAH.

  5. We are adopting a three-year-old from Ethiopia, and I’ll admit that I’ve bought headbands for our very-short-haired girl. I’m not sure I’d do the same if she were an infant, but right now I just want to cover some of her little bald spots and give her some accessories.

  6. Totally. My mom used to attach little bows to my head with *gasp* KY Jelly to keep my rebellious infant cowlick down. How embarrassing. Thankfully, as an adult, I’ve graduated to Astroglide.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Details of My Awesomeness- in list form =-.

  7. Absolutely couldn’t agree with you more… I hate seeing little baby girls with their circulation cut off with a stupid headband… UGH!!!!
    .-= Allison´s last blog ..Peach Pickin =-.

  8. Amen and amen!

  9. I saw a pic a mom had posted on FB of her ~6 month old just up from a nap, still in her crib with an elastic headband on. Can you say strangulation hazzard? Ugh.

  10. Sonja von Franck says:

    Saw your tweet & before I saw your post, I IMMEDIATELY thought of how Teresa has made me feel inadequate at “dolling up” my baby – but I’ve always felt babies are beautiful as is. Seems like one step away from that sad beauty pageant show with the little girls. Not to mention mine would pull it off and throw it out the window in about a minute flat. I do have to use little tiny clear rubber bands w/ clip in bows to keep her hair out of her eyes, but I think that meets your definition of a hair accessory.

  11. Completely agree, especially to a mom of a toddler girl. Oh, and baby ear piercing. I am not even going to get my soap box out for that one. I couldn’t possibly ever fathom doing that to her. I heard a baby get her ears pierced one time in some jewelry store. I have been tramatized since.

  12. I read this to Matthew (while he’s slicing peaches).

    He now sees more clearly why I love you so. Emily was bald for what? THREE YEARS? Almost four.

    One thing we’ve always agreed on is that hideous bows and ribbons on the head are ridiculous.

    (As for the earring thing…I kind of wish I had done it when Emily was younger, so she wouldn’t remember the pain. The whole, “losing one and having to do it again” thing was emotionally traumatizing on the both of us. She still talks about it…)
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Pulling Myself Together =-.

  13. Totally agree about the headgear- on the ear piercing, siiiiighh…its a very Cultural Issue…Hispanics tend topierce early amd view it as a feminine right of passage. I had mine done at 4, and was a “late” comer to the world of ear fashion. Would i pierce my daughters ears? Mmmm probably not.

  14. Oh my god. I hate hair bows on baby heads. Why? Because they are freaking babies! They don’t have hair to hold back! I hate the pure ridiculousness that head bows represent when placed on a baby’s head. So silly!
    .-= Mama in the City´s last blog ..Deep Fried Oreos and Family Fun =-.

  15. ah yes, thank you, i really shudder when i see infants with earrings.

  16. The partner unit has such a disdain for baby headbands that if we ever had a girl I’d put one on her just to get his goat. If he didn’t make such a deal outta it, I wouldn’t even think too. But I really couldn’t care either way… I do hate it when people pierce their babies ears. I’d never do that until my daughter (or son) approached me and asked me. Why must one punch holes in their kids heads is beyond me,.
    .-= Siera´s last blog ..What Does One Bring Camping =-.

  17. Those baby headbands have always reminded me of tacky wedding garters. A garter on a baby’s head? Wrong, I’m telling you. Wrong.

  18. YES YES YES YES YES. I absolutely hate those baby headbands.

  19. I agree with the headband thing!

    But the earring I dis-agree. My 4 month old daughter has them. Our ped did them so I was very comfortable with her having it done. I look at it this way she has them and it’s over and wont even remember instead of taking her later and having a big dramatic breakdown!
    People have such opinions about everything now adays I say to each his own and keep your negative opinions to yourself.

    Wait. Are you asking me to not express my opinion on MY BLOG? With all due respect, maybe this blog isn’t for you. However, like I’ve always said, you are welcome to take it up with my customer service department.

  20. TOTALLY, TOTALLY AGREE! Those little headbands just seem so uncomfortable! They leave indentations….HELLO, MCFLY! My neice was subjected to those as a baby and also had her ears pierced. My brother once asked me when I was gonna get my daughters’ ears pierced. I told him, “When she asks me.” Mine are pierced and I love jewelry; both of my girls have TONS of play/dress up jewelry but I feel like it should be their personal choice. Plus, I think it will be a really cool mother – daughter experience when the time comes!

    AMEN, Kristy. I got my ears pierced when I made the personal decision to pierce my ears. Not my parents.

  21. Meh, I think a headband once in a while is cute. Not everyday, and certainly not one that leaves indentations.

  22. pierced ears on a baby are just as cruel as circumcisions yet the people I know who are anti baby ear piercings (which I am) still whack their child’s perfect body for no reason (which is totally whackado!) i love hypocrites, haha! and the head bands- eh, pretty gaudy.

  23. HATE the headbands for babies…I have always secretly vowed that if I had a girl I would never put them on her. So tacky and not at all cute. As for the pierced ears I COULD NOT AGREE MORE! My SIL did this to her 3 mth old baby and I was appalled. Then one of the earrings pulled on something and came out the BACK of her ear and she had the nerve to go back and do it again! I had to bite my tongue HARD. I will never, ever do this. I will let my daughter make her own decisions about her body.

  24. I am SO WITH YOU on this.

    Also, I have SO MUCH HAIR now, but was bald until I was 2 1/2. My mother used to scotch tape a pink bow to my head. SCOTCH TAPE. True story.

  25. I’m totally guilty of putting a headband on my baby, but not one that is tight or large or ugh, BAD MOM ALERT! I think it’s cute and I also totally understand the ridiculousness of it.

    As for piercing her ears, she has to be old enough to at least ask me for it.
    .-= Mama Bub´s last blog ..Little Things =-.

  26. Amen! Well said! I can’t handle baby headbands and it breaks my heart the idea of peircing a baby’s ears. We’re not willing to take them outside the house for the first few weeks of their lives (unless you’re me and couldn’t possibly stay home for that long), we make people wash their hands before holding them and we don’t let them lick the floor, but ram holes in their earlobes – no problem.

    Gender issues are usually resolved by a lot of pink/blue and a shirt that says “I’m a GIRL, mkay?!”
    .-= Ashley´s last blog ..The Power of Beauty =-.

  27. YES! Awesome, i couldn’t agree with you more. .

  28. If I remember correctly, having freshly pierced ears requires some upkeep (swabbing with alcohol, turning multiple times a day, etc.)

    With an infant, I have more than enough to keep track of, clean up, manage. I don’t want to add one more *thing* that I have to do. So, my kids won’t have pierced ears until they ask for it and can take care of them on their own.

    I never really cared if people thought my baby was of the opposite sex., and I don’t think he did either.

  29. I fully 100% agree with you! About both things bit especially the ear piercing.
    .-= Christy´s last blog ..Fracture – A new way to print and display photos =-.

  30. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you have posted this. Two things I want to say:
    1. Teresa from RHONJ is insane and has zero taste for her children’s clothes. Those outfits made shiver from the sheer heinousness of them.

    2. I am a girly girl. I get being frilly, feminine, pink and sparkly. But, for the life of me, I do not understand these ridiculous bows that mothers seem unable to resist from the moment their girl child is born. Bows and flowers that are larger than the child’s bottom – heck, larger than MY BOTTOM, planted onto their foreheads, cocked to one side. NO NO NO NO NO. I asked my husband one day, “If we should ever have a daughter, do you think I’m going to totally lose my mind the minute she’s born and rush out to buy up a bajillion hairbows and then decide that I should launch my own Etsy shop making heinous hairbows since that’s what all our friends are doing these days?!”

    Clearly I have strong feelings on the issue.
    .-= Rachel S. @ Pencil Shavings´s last blog ..Opinions- Please! =-.

  31. If you watch the episode where they were all in Italy and went to the party to welcome baby Audrianna…when they walked in and showed the baby…she had MAKEUP on the baby! Green eyeshadow and blush. Oy!

  32. On the flipside, my one year old son gets mistaken for a girl just about EVERY DAY. I think it’s all his hair and he also just has a pretty face. I don’t mind it but I do mind the internal debate in my head on whether or not to correct them about it. It seems that when I do say “Oh, actually he’s a boy…” people get SO embarrassed and flummoxed and then it causes for this big awkward interaction.

    If I had a baby girl though, I’d never subject her to those ridiculous headbands. It’s just ridiculous.

    Re: the ear piercing thing: I can definitely understand why a lot of people think getting them done on a baby is weird and wrong. I probably wouldn’t get my daughters ears pierced until she actually wanted them (again, I only have a boy).

    In Latin culture, the piercing of your daughters ears is very common though and almost a customary cultural thing. I am half Peruvian and had my ears done as a baby (wasn’t a newb but still pretty young). I really don’t care either way, I don’t think it significantly damaged my psyche or anything. I have tons of issues but I don’t attribute them to the piercing of my young, baby soft ears (but hey, who really knows haha).

  33. Rule of thumb: If Teresa Guidice is going it, you shouldn’t.
    .-= slynnro´s last blog ..Bad Inventions with Mr A- Part A Million =-.

  34. I did use headbands on both of my girls, but they were never tight enough to leave marks. They both had a ton of hair and hair clips didn’t work.

    Amber and Suki both got their ears pierced at the same time. Amber was 6 1/2 and Suki was 4. Suki asked an then amber decided she wanted hers done too.
    .-= CC´s last blog ..SuperChic =-.

  35. What I cannot understand is how people get their little girls to keep the damn things on! My daughter is three, with a big ol’ head of awesomeness, and very MUCH needs something to keep it out o’ her face! She will not wear ANYTHING–and I don’t have fancy Guidice bows either–simple barretts, simple headbands. She would rather look like Cousin It all the live long day.

  36. Hahaha I would so go up to them and tell them what a handsome baby boy they have.
    .-= Jammer´s last blog ..Ear Armor =-.

  37. Those headbands are ridiculous. And to think she had all of those dresses custom made.

  38. Aimee Greeblemonkey says:

    Loveeeyou!!!

  39. Those things make me CRAZY. Why is it that important that you gender identify your BABY? It’s a baby. It’ll be years before you need to discriminate, salary-wise.

    Also, I was called a boy well into elementary school by adults [yeah, my mom was not a fan of combing my curly hair, so SHORT BOY HAIR it was] and I managed to survive. I just figured the adults were idiots.
    .-= Suniverse´s last blog ..Whats underneath that =-.

  40. I also despose those headband where the flower is bigger than the little girls head. I think they just look so cheesy. Our daughter will get her ears pierced when she is ready. She is only a little girl for so long and pierced ears just seem to me like you are rushing them to adolescence. Bikinis, ear rings, shorts with words on the butt, it can all wait until she’s a teen. I just want her to be a little girl.

  41. typelittlea says:

    This is a major pet peeve of mine. It’s like people are dressing up a doll. You wouldn’t believe the pearl-clutching amongst my female relatives once I refused to dress my daughter in head to toe dry clean only ruffles and bows every damn day. Now that she’s 6, she chooses her own clothes, they are sporty and PINK PINK PINK. And she hates hairbows. With a firey passion!

  42. Totally agree. How will you ever leverage your 9 year old daughter to get five 100% spelling tests and five 100% math tests if you pierce her ears at birth? Wait till she begs you AND is old enough to take care of them.

    BTW I feel the same way about male circumcision, but that one is much more controversial. If my son feels funny about his intact unit at 18, he can get it done himself.

  43. Meh… I think head bands and little hair bows on babies are actually kinda cute. I would never leave them on all day, but just put them on for photos. To me, that’s always been the point- they are cute and girly and all-around redonkulous, not really meant to serve a purpose. Just as innocent as dressing up a baby in cute clothes or adorable shoes (because babies don’t need shoes, either.) I just can’t imagine losing sleep over something so silly.

    Of course, it drives me crazy when they are too tight for a baby’s head. And ear piercing- how bizarre, in my opinion.

  44. totally agree with the baby earrings – I hate them!

  45. janeedalife says:

    Sorry to say,
    My toddler wears bows, not headbands, however they are obnoxiously large,
    She has had her ears pierced since she was 2 months old,
    And to top it off
    She does pageants (no fake stuff of course, just the attire) does this make me a bad mom? Nope. I really just think everyone should mind there own business, no one really cares about anyones opinion, they are gonna do what they want, and raise their kids how they want, and if people would stop complaining about other people (like people who hate babies in big bows) the world would be a little less stressful. And really, who takes the time to write a forum about what people are putting there kids in? Im sure there’s something better to do than bash on how people are dressing their kids.

  46. janeedalife says:

    Sorry to say,
    My toddler wears bows, not headbands, however they are obnoxiously large,
    She has had her ears pierced since she was 2 months old,
    And to top it off
    She does pageants (no fake stuff of course, just the attire) does this make me a bad mom? Nope. I really just think everyone should mind there own business, no one really cares about anyones opinion, they are gonna do what they want, and raise their kids how they want, and if people would stop complaining about other people (like people who hate babies in headbands/big bows) the world would be a little less stressful. And really, who takes the time to write a forum about what people are putting there kids in? Im sure there’s something better to do than bash on how people are dressing their kids. Bash on ppl who have their kids taken away by DHS, that’s actually a conversation to get mad about.

  47. I never dressed my daughter in bows/headbands, but I’m not mortally offended when other ppl do. The earrings I feel much more strongly about. I just think babies and young children are so perfect the way they are. I want to push off for as long as possible the feeling that girls get that they need to change something about their bodies (even something relatively minor likes holes in the ears) (though when you say it like that -eek! – it sounds horrible…) So I’m totally out for earrings until she is at least a pre-teen/teenager.

  48. I am still just in shock that people came to a personal blog and told you not to express your personal opinion. I enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions regardless of whether I actually agree with you! How boring if everyone had the same thoughts and opinions, BLECH!! Curious side point: My first job as a 16 yo was piercing ears-8 week old babies all the way up to sweet old ladies (and men). Was I qualified? N-O-P-E. Now that is something alarming, ha ha!

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