Not Worth Noting, But Humor Me

39

1. This morning I ran 1.56 miles without stopping to walk. I have never in my life run 1.56 miles without stopping. I need to share this with you because, well, who else am I going to share it with, my mom? Here’s a little preview of that conversation.

Whoorl: Mom! I’m halfway to my goal of running 3 miles! I ran a mile and a half this morning with the jogging stroller!

Mom: That’s good! (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: My new shoes are really helping out. My ankle feels much better.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: Although, yesterday it was giving me trouble…

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click)

Whoorl: Um, I broke my back yesterday.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, clickety click click)

Whoorl: And sold Wito into slavery.

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

Whoorl: GODDAMN IT MOM, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! ARE YOU PLAYING ONLINE CANASTA AGAIN?!

Mom: Uh-huh. (click, click, click, click)

2. I’m pretty sure when you put glasses in the dishwasher, they are not supposed to come out looking like this:

glass.jpg

How about a side-by-side comparison?

2glasses.jpg

Something’s wrong with my dishwasher, yes?

3. I apologize to all the Anya lovers out there, but I couldn’t be more thrilled about her departure from last night’s So You Think You Can Dance episode. It’s just that, I don’t know, the outfits and the ballroom thing and dear Lord, the OUTFITS. The leopard-print and electric blue fringe and booby tassels!

Plus, when she “dances for her life”, I feel like she is just shaking her ass and moving across the stage with teensy-weensy staccato steps. I am aware she is at a disadvantage by not having a partner to dance with in her dance-offs, and I KNOW that I am completely clueless about ballroom and need to SHUT UP, but man! With everyone else performing giant leaps and pirouettes across the stage, it’s hard to be impressed by ballroom during the solos.

To make my point with D last night, I threw on some heels with my running shorts and performed my own Anya-type “Big Wheels Keep On Turning, Proud Mary Keeps On Burning” dance. I paused and re-played her performance and everything. I thought I did a fine job, but D didn’t seem to be very impressed. He just looked up at me and said, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Point well taken.



COMMENTS (39)

Comments

  1. impressive you jog with the stroller. you could add on about another 2 miles probably if you weren’t pushing that sucker.
    my dishwasher does the same thing. its bogus. i started handwashing which=bull shit.

    I hate when I hit this one stretch of uphill with that damn stroller. Seriously, you should see my lobster face after that one.

  2. I think you need Jetdry. It seems to work for me.

    How very Becky Home-Ecky of me to know that!

    I’m on it. :)

  3. Congratulations on the running milestone! I am supposed to start week two this weekend. Thanks for posting the info about Couch to 5K, I am really enjoying it so far (and I have never been a runner in my life).

    And I second the JetDry suggestion.

    Thanks! I love to hear about others doing the program. I swear, it gets better every week. I never think, “Oh man, I have to run.” I really enjoy it!

  4. Mediocre Housewife says:

    Congrats on the milestone! Last year, I was into running and even ran a 5k race. Yay me! This year, though, I’m not sure I could *walk* a 5k race. Must get on that…

  5. So glad Anya got the boot. But I have to say, I am continually impressed by her original partner Pasha. Is it weird to have a crush on him? God, I loved it when he had to dance with that, ahem, Rubenesque redhead earlier in the season. And he didn’t even miss a beat with all those lifts. Which means, he could totally lift my Rubenesque body, too.

    OK, fantasy over …

    I love Pasha, too! And I usually gag at the male ballroom dancers.

  6. You need some Jet-Dry.

    I will buy some today- we have a “rinse-aid” that we use, but it obviously doesn’t seem to be working. We’ve also tried vinegar and baking soda, which helps for the next couple of cycles, but then back to the residue.

  7. I have those conversations with my mom ALL THE TIME. But there are times when she’s barely half-listening and she replies in cliche, which is way more irritating than if she were to just ignore me and say nothing.

    LV: I’m getting more gray hairs. I think I have about 50 now.
    Mom: Ah yes. Old age. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
    LV: WHAT?

    LV: Makenna just dragged Paige down the hall by her foot.
    Mom: That’s the way to cookie crumbles.
    LV: WHAT? That has nothing to do with anything I just said! You’re not even listening!
    Mom: I most certainly am!
    LV: Then repeat what I just said!
    Mom: Makenna, uh, Paige, uh… okay, sorry! I’m reading my email! So, what was that again…?

    BWAHAHAAAA! I have to say, in her defense, she is AWESOME, always there for me, etc. I probably wouldn’t want to listen to my rambling either. (HI MOM! KISS KISS!)

  8. Congrats on the running milestone! I’m a runner myself and after completing that first mile without stopping feels amazing. I remember feelings of complete dread and doom when the PE teacher use to announce that we were running the mile that day. Might as well put me in front of a firing squad.

    So when do you sign up for your fist 5K? The Huntington Surf and Sand 5K is coming up at the end of September!

    Hey! Maybe I should do it!! According to the C25K program, I should be running 5K in three more weeks. That timing would be perfect. I’m going to look into it – thanks for the heads up, Jackie!

  9. I’m super impressed by your 1.56 miles of running! And I love that you didn’t just say a mile and a half, because the .06 makes a big difference! It really does!

    I ran for 16 minutes once in college with a girl that ran cross-country. I kept telling her I didn’t feel well but she insisted that we keep going. I should have listened to my body, because at the 16-minute mark, I threw up in the bushes. On a college campus. From running, not drinking. Just a tad embarrassing.

    Thanks!! And I have to admit, that last .06 almost made me throw up myself. :)

  10. Maybe you need a water softener.

    As for the running, dear God, woman, that’s awesome! I don’t think I could run to the end of my block without doubling over and praying for death.

    I was thinking of that…I totally don’t want to deal with this crap. But I also don’t want to hand wash dishes for the rest of my life, either.;)

  11. Way to go! 1.56 miles is quite an accomplishment. For the record I bought my running clothes yesterday and was all excited to begin the program today, but alas it is pouring down rain. I need to start this under perfect circumstances if I have any hopes of following through, rain in week 3 or 4 might be okay, but not so much on day one.

    Our dishwasher is horrible. From the mid 60’s, has to be rolled to the sink and hooked up to run. We get some awfully funky residue from time to time, I often find myself re-washing dishes after they’ve come out of the dishwasher. Such a pain.

    Yes, you have to pump yourself up for the first week. Seriously, it is so important! Now, it’s become more of a mental challenge for me – I can’t wait to get out and run. I love it!

  12. I can barely move 1.56 yards, so kudos on your achievement! And that conversation totally sounds familiar to me, only my mom is focusing on what the cast of Golden Girls is saying as opposed to the conservation with her youngest daughter.

    BWAHAAAAAA. I love the Golden Girls.

  13. Way to go on the run!

    I have those conversations with my husband all the time except he’s on ebay.

    We have those same glasses! And apparently the same dishwasher because that’s how ours come out too. It’s true that a little jetdry helps.

  14. I concur with the other comments recommending that you get Jet Dry; it works wonders. Now for the important point: Do you know that I am HUGE fan of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” dance? And that totally unbidden, I perform the whole song and dance in my living room constantly? And try, to no avail, to get J to play the role of Ike in the routine? Now, I’m not challenging you to a “Proud Mary” dance-off, per se, but if the opportunity presented itself next week, let’s just say that I would be prepared.

  15. Yes, I was happy that Anya was voted off, although briefly I thought she was maybe the prettiest thing I had ever seen on Wednesday night when she was wearing the floaty dress and had the long wavy hair. And then there was a curl ‘fro and tassles last night and she meant nothing to me again.

    But Hok! Hok, my own true love! I cried myself to sleep because all I could think of was the hummingbird dance and how I will never ever ever see his beautiful Japanese/British/other face again.

  16. Forgot to add… we have horribly hard water here (and no water softener yet), and even the dependable jet-dry doesn’t work on our dishes.

    I use this detergent called “Diamond Brite” and it works wonders! AND! It’s phosphate free and eco-friendly. Also, it doesn’t leave a weird taste behind.

    Problem is, you can only get it from a “direct sales” company called Melaleuca. My friend who is a “consultant” and roped me into a membership, simply because I was so desperate to get my hands on more Diamond Brite. BAH!

    I have a spare bottle here I’m happy to send you if you want to try it out. You can buy it at eBay too! I think you can buy without dealing with a membership, like I have to. BAH!

  17. Uh-huh, click, click, click……….
    It’s not just canasta, mah-jong takes alot of my time.
    Rambling you never do! love and kisses back at ya!

  18. Natalie 42 says:

    Congrats on the running! I used to hate, hate running but I was doing a bit of the Couch to 5k to get back to my usual 2 mile jog and I really liked it. It’s making me…kind of…like jogging……….oh God, sorry, i almost threw up a little from saying that.

    So my mom will normally listen on the phone but she has this weird thing where she’ll all the sudden out of NOWHERE will be like

    Mom: OKAYTHEN!I’lltalktoyoulater! *click*

    Me (or an one of my three siblings): “…oh…ok, mom!..love!!….mom?”

    Its the funniest thing ever. She hates talking on the phone, as do I but, still…a little heads up would be nice.

  19. We have the same dishwasher issue – I’m going to get me some Jet Dry. Thanks also for the visual of your Proud Mary number – it made my Friday. Any chances you could post a video? ;)

  20. I am simultaneously proud and full of loathing.

    Proud that you’re kicking so much ass …

    … and loathing that you are now one of Them.

    Down with chirpy happy runners! Down with them I say!

  21. “you’re going to hurt yourself” ha ha. please take video of the next performance.

  22. Haha, well, at least she admits it.

    The dancing thing cracks me up.

    Congrats on the running! It must be the new shorts, right?

  23. I used to have the same problem when I lived in another city. I think the local water supply makes a difference.

    Cascade Complete was what finally worked for me. JetDry wasn’t enough. Of course, I hated buying the premium dishwasher soap, but it was better than having hazy glasses or becoming the dishwasher myself.

    Congrats on the 1.56 mi of continuous running. Twice I have entered into a 5K run. Those are the only times I have run more than 5 minutes without stopping to walk. I think it has something to do with the peer pressure of the other runners.

  24. Congrats on your running milestone! This phenomenon is BY FAR the best part of any new training program – every day from here on out will be your personal best. At this rate, you could be marathoning by December, no problem!

    Annnnd now I have to admit that, while I was once a marathoner, I’m a non-runner again. I’m a lazy, walk-to-coffee-with-my-kid-because-running-with-a-stroller-sucks person now.

    What did you say the name of that book was?

  25. Girl of Steele says:

    haha. your dance impression reminds me of the other night…my sister humored me by agreeing to watch center stage. again. she finally got me to agree that yes, it IS cheesy. but you know what? if a movie has dancing it it, i’m probably going to love watching it anyway. and then watching it again. and then imitating cooper neilson afterwards with really fast spinny moves!

  26. Lyndsay says:

    Anya had to go. She woukd have tanked when it comes time for solo dancing.I was sad about Hok, though. I think he and Jamie were hooking up.

  27. dude, are you gonna do this running business is chicago?

  28. “Oh, Madge. You’re soaking in it.”

    Cat Deeley makes me feel all gushy and gooey inside. In a good way.

  29. I have to say, I’m so glad I’m not the only one to have those frustrating mom conversations. The worst is when I put her on speaker to let her talk to the baby. Does your mom go into crazy mode when talking to Wito on the phone? I swear I could tell her that there was an aligator in the living room about to eat my toes and she’d still just be gabbing on and on and on.

    Totally jealous of your amazingness when it comes to the running. Good for you – that’s awesome.

    And yeah, that glass is gross. I appreciate the helpful comments that your other readers left becuase I, in my laziness, probably would have just run it through again. and again. and. again.

  30. I thought Mary Murphy might kill a bitch over Anya’s ouster.

  31. i’m naming you a Rockin’ Girl Blogger, fyi.

  32. hey! I have those glasses too. And yay for the running. I just finished Week One.

  33. Danielle says:

    You might try using less detergent and running the hot water in your sink for a min before you start the washer. Those things work for us. Good work on the running. I didn’t realize you were doing it with a stroller too – I am so impressed…and inspired!

  34. I know what you mean about Anya. I was just watching a tape of the show again today, and I realized that she’s the reason Danny keeps ending up in the bottom three. She really looks like a jiggly stripper in her solo dances, and she barely moves in the partner dances, so he looks like he’s over-dancing. He would look so much better with ANY other partner.

    And congratulations on running 1.56 miles. And with a jogging stroller? You kick butt.

  35. 1.56 MILES IS FANTASTIC! WOOHOO! Go, Whoorl!!! I set myself the same goal (of running 3 miles without stopping) ages and ages ago before I had Annalie, and going from not running, ever, at all, to running 3 miles and more was one of the best feelings I ever had. I *really* have to start running again. A badly sprained ankle put me on the bench for over a year, and I ran sporadically after that till Annalie was born, and then sleep became much more important than running. But I miss it. I will keep reading and hope you inspire me. :-)

  36. Hey! Very cool on the run! Here is a cool site:

    http://www.usatf.org/routes/map/

    You can map out any route and it will tell you how many miles it is.

  37. Congratulations on your 1.5 miles or should I say 2.51K! I have downloaded the Couch to 5K podcast, but I am not ready for running yet.

  38. i was so happy anya left, but hok :( i was sad, i don’t like anya and danny, i think danny is an awesome dancer but he just seems like such a concided asshole i can’t get on board

    and i totally lol reading about your anya dance, i’d pay money for a video! haha

  39. Nice work on the running. I’m not familiar with the C25k plan, but the best advice I got when I was starting out was “only run enough each time that you’ll still want to do it again next time.”

    Technically that’s not assvice, because I’m not actually ADVISING. Just reporting. Good luck, runner.