Why, Jell-O Pudding Pops? Why?

As I sat down yesterday afternoon, ready to crank out a post, I made the mistake of finding this piece from yesterday’s New York Times. Bye bye, Monday afternoon. Those comments sucked me in and didn’t let me go until late in the evening – evident from my healthy dinner of smokehouse almonds and a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

It’s just that, Oh My God, where did all of my favorites go? Jell-O Pudding Pops – no longer. (What up, Mr. Cosby?!) The original Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars. The Motorola StarTac phone. Those little triangular side-vent windows in cars, allowing the perfect amount of breeze to circulate without messing up the hair! Gone! Like the Wind!

If you take the time to read through the thousands of comments, you’ll notice that the Honda CRX is greatly missed. I had no idea it was such a reliable, yet zippy, little car. I do know my high school Honda Prelude (with the cute flip-up headlights) was one of my favorites. Ahh, the good old days.

However, things took a turn for the worse. My sweet nostalgia turned into festering anger. What do you mean no more Tato Skins?! I LOVED those chips! Taco Bell-flavored Doritos? And Alphabits cereal?! HOW AM I GOING TO TEACH WITO THE ALPHABET?!

*googling Alphabits cereal*

Oh, I see. The commenters must have been mistaken. Feeling better.

Then, I saw another comment that shook me to the very core. Planters Cheez Balls. Oh, that can’t be…could it? No more Planters Cheez Balls?! In the round tin? No other puffed cheese product compares!

*googling Planters Cheez Balls*

It’s true. It’s true. You can’t even find them on eBay. (Not that I tried. Um, or anything.)

OHMYGODICAN’TLIVEWITHOUTTHECHEEZBALLGOODNESSICAN’TBREATHENOREALLYPANICKY PANICKYHELPSOSHELPSOS.

It’s a very sad day in the Whoorl household. Now, if we could have a moment of silence for my beloved Planters Cheez Balls.




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Comments

  1. 51
    Tina says:

    I found Jello Pudding Pops at the store after I read this. Thank God! I am most sad about Cheez Balls. I could eat the whole container in one sitting.

  2. 52
    Abigail says:

    I miss Vienetta. Cheesy commercials and all.

  3. 53
    holli says:

    Waaaaa! Why is there always some CEO somewhere who wrecks all the fun? My fave? The CRX-I could use a car like that…

  4. 54
    Susan says:

    Wal-Mart here in TN carries Jello Pudding Pops. I don’t remember who originally made them, but there are by Popsicle. I think there are still some in the freezer.

  5. 55
    sarah g says:

    Hi. I dont comment often (if i have at all), so I’ll start with; hello, have fun, feel better and your baby is quite cute : )

    Okay. Now as for the important part; the cheez balls. I know that as of May, you could still find them in New York. My friend got married and he loves them, and his family, from Long Island, brought him some. So, maybe you can find someone there or a store, from which you can ascertain some precious cheesy-ness?

    Have a good trip.

  6. 56
    Lauren says:

    I love the website you link in this post, but how can I keep reading the comments? All I’m getting is the first 30 or so, with nothing at the bottom allowing me to “Go to the Next Page.” It’s so hilarious, i want to keep reading!

    P.s., I love your blog, and Newly Wifed, and Bearca, and Poka Bean. You ladies crack me up every day!

  7. 57
    Dawn says:

    OMG…I have been craving Jello-Pudding Pops for so long now and finally last week I found them in Wal Mart. My face just lit up whn I saw thet box sitting there I was so exited. They are good but not like they used to be. I loved the banana ones..please someone bring back banana!!!I noticed someone mentioned nreds candy before..holy crap I forgot about those. You really brought me back.Thanks

  8. 58
    BabsieD says:

    I’m really, truly contemplating heading to the grocery rightthisveryminute to by Jello and freeze it on up. I haven’t felt this motivated since…well, ever.

    And I think that I was perhaps the only person in the universe who lived for Snapple Cranberry Iced Tea. Dear lord there are 8 kazillion flavors out there, most crappy, made by 90 different tea companies, and no one has tried to revisit the cranberry. It’s a travesty.

    Okay, still here. Maybe I’ll head over tomorrow.

  9. 59
    Paisley says:

    The 100 Calorie packs of crunchy cheetos are little balls, exactly like cheese balls only smaller and cuter.

    :)

    If they get rid of those I may have to slice my wrists. Good thing my Grandma’s not around to see this one!

  10. 60
    BabsieD says:

    Okay, a completely outdated comment, but just in case anyone in a menses-enduced rage googles “I NEED JELLO PUDDING POPS NOWNOWNOW”…

    1.) You can, in fact, freeze Jello pudding to make pudding pops. Whole milk is recommended for true 1980′s Jello pudding pop-caliber flavor.
    2.) If you use ice cube trays they can be somewhat guilt-free pudding pops (unless, for example, you eat four of them in one sitting.).
    3.) If you can’t find popsicle sticks at the grocery store, it is not recommended that you use wooden skewers, as while they are longer and thicker than toothpicks, they are basically little razor-tipped javelins that can make trying to get to your pudding pop a somewhat miserable challenge (though the ensuing booby traps you can keep you from eating four in one sitting, see #2 above).

  11. 61
    Jess says:

    I hate the fact that they are no longer making Jello pudding pops or cheez balls. I want some cheez balls. I read that there are no cheetos ones either and I used to like those too. Come to think of it, I was looking for them about a year ago. Dang! As for the Pudding Pops. I found some but they are the shape of a regular popsicle and are not the same taste that I remember. Also, I used to like to scrape off the little ice slivers on the side. I see Roseanne doing this in an episode where they find some old marijuana and is in the bathroom eating the old school looking ones. Man I miss the 80′s.

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