The Ongoing Quest

21

Thanks to you, I have in my possession many shorts of the running variety. (I’m definitely intrigued by the running skirts, I just feel the need to do a little more research before purchasing.) I ordered all of the shorts online, stemming from my inability to deal with athletic store dressing rooms due to imminent toe fungi lurking in the carpet fibers. We ARE talking about people of the athletic persuasion. (Did I mention I sold Lamisil for several years? I have seen some of the funkiest toes in the history of man, trust me. One elderly lady had a toe nail that formed a yellow “ram’s horn”, which curled in a counter-clockwise manner, piercing the skin on the left side of her big toe. I witnessed this directly after a lunch from Panera, and needless to say, it is no longer a dining option.)

Friday night, I conducted a fashion show of sorts for my husband while drinking a lovely 2003 Malbec. Here are my preliminary findings for a couple of favorites. The Adidas Response Baggy Short was a great recommendation, although I ordered the wrong size. They were a little too baggy, but the other size should be here today. I really like the length (4 inches) and the leg room. They feel more like soccer shorts than running shorts, which is a good thing.

The shorts I really want to love are the Nike Tempo Track Shorts. Such fun colors- which, duh, is the pinnacle of importance! I wisely ordered two sizes, but had trouble deciding which one technically fit. Now, these shorts don’t mess around. They have a 3-inch inseam, and look like serious bad ass running shorts (Lawyerish, you were so right). D and I decided the smaller size (what the Nike size chart recommended) are most likely the correct fit, but GOOD LORD, they are short. I find myself blushing and tugging at them while alone in my own home. On a positive note, just wearing them around the house should burn extra calories, seeing that sitting and staring at my entire thigh from knee to hip smashed against a chair is NOT an option.

After my 2nd or 3rd glass of wine, we conducted a performance test specifically targeting the “ride-up” issue, which consisted of me trotting barefoot up and down my sidewalk while holding my wine glass. I’m sure the neighbors enjoyed that show. Interestingly enough, the larger sizes definitely rode up my inner thighs, prompting me to wonder if I’ve been wearing the wrong size shorts all along. It’s almost like the extra fabric bubbles up, causing the crappy ride-up.

For the immediate time-being, I think Adidas will be my staple, but the Nike shorts will be my goal. When I’m feeling the burn and wanting to slow down, I’ll just envision myself in my two-tone pink Nikes with smooth and slender thighs hauling ass around town. That should keep me truckin’.



COMMENTS (21)

Comments

  1. I’m sorry, were you talking? I stopped reading after the beautiful image of a rams horn yellow toenail curled around back into someones toe flesh, was said. That was brilliant. Disgusting, but a brilliant word picture.

  2. Don’t you think we deserve at least on shot of you running in them for all our help?

    BWHAHHAHAAAAAAA.

    No.

  3. I’m telling you – order the Nike New Adventure Running Skirt – I think you’ll love it! Not as many cute colors as the Tempo short (which I think are great, by the way), but they are so comfortable and provide great coverage!! (full disclosure – I am a Nike employee…but these are really great and I would honest if I didn’t think it was great!)

  4. it’s great you blogged about all this because I’m sure its an excellent motivator to lots of your readers!
    Promoting great hair & exercise? Outtasight!

  5. New commenter here! Hi!

    I heart Panera, so I am going to do my best to wipe that mental image from my head so I can continue to eat there. And I’m beginning to train for my first sprint triathlon, so thanks for these tips.

  6. What the hell are you wearing ON TOP though? Although I’m sure the neighbors would love it if you wore absolutely nothing.

    I was wearing a cutesy little summer top, which totally did NOT look right with the shorts. I looked hot.

  7. If you dare wear short shorts, Nair for short shorts.

  8. Would you just order the darn skirt for goodness’ sake? Most of them have compression shorts underneath – thus ending the riding up issue. Also, find “Body Glide” at a running store & use it on your thighs if you have a chafing issue. That sounds a little TMI, but seriously, I wish someone had told me about that little product A LONG TIME AGO. So, when is the big 5K event?

    No event in particular, although I really hope I can run in one soon!!

  9. I don’t think my thighs have seen sunlight in a decade, so I applaud your extensive research but am mostly chiming in to say that if I knew running with Malbec was an option, I might still be interested in this ‘cardio’ thing that people tout. As it were, I got only bursitis of the ankle, nary a red wine buzz to be found! You almost (almost!) make me consider some sort of jogging-type activity.

  10. OKAY! I just bought the damn Nike Adventure skirt for SIXTY DOLLARS. It better be amazing, ladies. ;)

  11. Egads. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for the mental image of the old lady with the “ram’s horn” toenail.

    Okay, fine. I’m over it.

    But still: EWWWW.

    Also, I concur with Molly…While I haven’t gone running since college, if they were handing out Dixie cups of wine at the roadside during marathons instead of water, I do believe that I could get back into the game. :)

  12. No! No running skirts! Noooooooooowhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

    Um, hi. Sorry. Those shorts are cayoot.

  13. Tempo Track Short! Woot! Incidentally, I do not have wee slender reed-legs, especially in the thighal area, but the lack of riding up and bunching makes it all worthwhile. Plus, you should not be SITTING in these shorts! No. Avoid all sitting (unless it is on the ground to do situps or stretch out all athletic-like). Rather, you should be *running* and knowing that you look like a badassssss!

  14. Ahhh, you are an inspiration. After starting to run last fall, then getting preggers again (thus stopping), I am eager to start up running after this new one makes an appearance. I wish I had read these comments while I was on holiday with a NIKE Outlet right there staring at me willing me to buy something. They had some of the running skirts but I didn’t want to chance buying something that was going to be too big or too small. Will wait for your assessment first, thanks for doing the research.

  15. i hear the skirt is all the rage among runners in nyc. luckily, i live in DC and am therefore immune from all fashion trends. we like the frump here.

  16. the only running i’ll ever be doing in this lifetime will be when a psychopath is chasing my stupid ass with a very shiny knife or gun.

  17. Well good luck with the running and shorts but in reference to the toe fungi story….FUCKING SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!

  18. Sweeet Jebus that toe fugus thing was bad. I just ate a little bit of a burrito and now baja fresh may not be a dining option for me in the near future.

  19. Woman Lost says:

    Ok, the whole parading up and down the sidewalk with the glass of wine totally made my day for some really screwy reason!

  20. cocodrie says:

    I’m late to the running shorts ball, I know. Mostly because, well, I don’t run nor can I relate to those that do. You kids are CUH-RAAAAZY.

    But I gotta say, American Apparel has the most comfy array of shorts ever.

  21. new mommy here- don’t know how I found your blog- but I love it-

    anyway- i bought the skirt at Target-only $20- figured couldnt hurt to try it out-

    I must say I felt like I looked “hot” wearing it-
    Key words “felt” & “hot” (rare feeling when 10 weeks postpartum and still 18 lbs to lose)
    I wore it for our morning walk- got super humid sweaty here in South Louisiana- but it dried pronto and I kept it on through hair appt… and quick stop at the market-
    and back home in time to feed baby J-

    and geared up for another hot mama strut aroud the neighborhood…
    :) anyway- hope you enjoy your skirt-
    My next purchase will be the Nike one…