All Aboard!

21

Yesterday’s shrieky clip was nothing. Child’s play. Light and Breezy.

I am now caring for Shriek 2.0, a much louder and shall we say, guttural shriek. However, I do possess an item that stops the shriek dead in its tracks.

fptrain.jpg

See that green button on the front of the train? When your child presses that illuminated button, one of the most annoying, high-pitched voices in the history of mankind starts up with some “All Aboard the Animal Train” bullshit. Wito likes to press this button repeatedly, as in repeatedly for days on end, over and over and OVER until I notice a little trail of blood seeping out of my ear canal.

This train causes some sort of curious phenomenon that renders Wito speechless. I tend to believe it’s the high-pitched racket slowly killing every neuron in his little brain. Whatevs.

Here’s the caveat- my special train sounds subtly more annoying than what is advertised. Take a listen for yourself. Not too bad, no? I mean, yes, it’s annoying as hell, but feasible. Now listen to mine.

My train conductor is coked up. Must be the Southern Californian version – talk about target demographics!



COMMENTS (21)

Comments

  1. Whoa dude… That would drive me to drink. A lot. Not that I need a reason.

  2. My daughter has the same train – she is a year. When I listened to the fischer price version I thought it sounded slower than ours and then I listened to yours – mine sounds the same. It gets stuck in your head!

  3. Just not cool, but neither is a book called “Jonah and the Whale” with sound buttons on the side that can allow your son to make “god” say “Jonah” in this booming omnipotent voice over and over and over.

  4. I’d be enveloped in my iPod, full time!

    ;)

  5. That sounds like Snow White on crack. Sorry for your ears!

  6. When our daughter got her “Ride Along Musical Alphabet Bus” the volume on it was ridiculous. So I took it apart and put 8 layers of kleenex over the speaker, then it was nice and bearable.

  7. LOL!

  8. Did you know this train made that noise when it was purchased? Because, HOLY HELL.

    You are way more tolerant (and/or hearing impaired :-) than I would be. The dog just barked at the computer. Nice.

    Three words: Noise. Canceling. Earbuds.

    It was a gift from my parents. They don’t have to hear it, you see. :)

  9. That is the most annoying toy I think I have ever heard. No, wait, I can beat that with a talking Buzz Lightyear door alarm. But, seriously, for young kid toys that is pretty annoying, I thought we had a few but none compare to that one.

  10. I swear, I did not listen to the audio before I bought it. I promise never to do that again. ps glad the train is in California!

  11. Whatever you do, don’t get the LeapFrog singing alphabet kitchen magnet. Trust me.

    Noted.

  12. I’m pretty sure I just wet myself.

    Oh. Holy. Mother. Of. God.

    You poor thing. You poor, poor thing!

    I’ve got a recording session tonight. Shall I try something a little more smoky and jazzy, a little “Come on board the animal train!” but more husky and slow?

    Please!

  13. Oh, dear. I’m so sorry for you!

  14. Oh…wow. I thought
    this
    was bad but that train song? I’m pretty sure it’s what greets you at the gates of Hell.

  15. Oh, that LeapFrog magnet is straight from hell.

    My two year old stopped watching his beloved Sesame Street and ran to my computer as soon as he heard the music from the animal train.

  16. I have this same train for my one year old daughter. I noticed that if you add the extra cars (which are sold separately of course), the train slows down along with the music. I make sure to load down the train before I let Hadley play with it so that the song is a wee bit less annoying. :)

  17. My daughter has this toy and she loves it. When she hears the train she stops whatever she doing to squeal out in joy that her train is running. She loves that thing.

  18. Is there a parent purgatory…because that has to be it. The place where your soul is decided upon….that takes a supernatural amount of patience not to break that toy in two.

  19. ginger chen says:

    There must be a ‘speaker’ somewhere on the train–get some transparent tape (sellotape) and put it over the speaker to damp out the noise… otherwise you will go crazy…

  20. ROFL! My daughter has the same train. DH and I have had long conversations about what that woman — the one whose voice is used on the train and countless other toys — sounds like in regular conversation, or (holy horror) in bed. The lyric that grates on us most is “the yellow giraffes are a BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!” Argh.

  21. Yup my Canadian one sounds the same as well! And if you get the fisher price baby grand piano, it is the same irritating voice singing even more annoying songs.

    I finally put the thing on the lowest volume and a piece of tape over the speaker to tone it down a bit.