I have recently diagnosed myself with IADD. Internet Attention Deficit Disorder. The internet has turned my brain into a huge cataclysm of MORE INFORMATION NEED MORE INFORMATION NOW NOW NOW. I can’t just watch television. I can’t just listen to music. I can’t do anything for more than thirty minutes without compulsively lifting my laptop screen to check my email or write a Hair Thursday post or google the nearest self-serve yogurt place or visit my favorite blogs or search YouTube for videos of how to poach an egg or map out my next jogging route or buy cute shoes at Piperlime or check Twitter. What would happen if I suddenly lost all access to the internet? I WOULD SURELY CEASE TO EXIST, YO.
I can barely get through a television program anymore. The only ones that completely capture my attention are Mad Men, So You Think You Dance, Top Chef and Project Runway. All the rest are just so booooring with the talk talk talk and the fast-forwarding of the commercials and OH MY GOD I COULD TOTALLY LOOK UP THE 7-DAY WEATHER FORECAST FOR BOLIVIA RIGHT NOW.
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What was I saying again?
Oh yeah, IADD. Thank the lord I have a child that can’t stand being inside during the day. If Wito didn’t keep me on my toes with playdates, errands and Gymboree classes, I swear I would be locked in a dark room subsisting on Trader Joe’s Pita Crisps and the glow of my laptop.
So! I’m trying to cut back my computer usage during the evenings while I’m doing…you know…things that you do when you are not using the computer. Like watching television programs? Is that what the people are doing these days?
Since I now have the attention span of a gnat, I’ve created my own fun game called Create Odd Facial Expressions By Pausing The Television In Order To Keep From Absolute IADD-Induced Boredom. (No, I am not kidding. I joyfully entertain myself with this game on a regular basis.) However, this isn’t a game for novices, people. You have to possess a lightning-fast reaction time. Your neurons need to be FIRING. No dilly-dallying.
Last night, I outdid myself. Look at this facial expression.
Cat Deeley, you have never looked so good. MWAHAAAAAAAAA.
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What was I saying again?
Mad Men is one of the only TV shoes I don’t multitask while watching. It’s just too good!
.-= Kali´s last blog ..My Brothers. =-.
Methinks you need to create a Flickr group. Oh, HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE?
I was going to leave a comment but I
.-= Backpacking Dad´s last blog ..Acoustic Six-String =-.
I was nodding along with you, but then you got to COFEBPTIOTKFA IADDIB game and I said, “YES!”
Luckily I’m the only one in the office.
My son delights in that game and it’s become a competition (after the I Will Beat You If You Don’t Give Me That Flipper game) to see who can get the best face.
.-= Kathleen´s last blog ..loveshoes:Rupert Sanderson for Karl Lagerfeld.So funny – I… =-.
Since canceling my cable (even more ways to IADD: movies/shows/everything! ONLINE) I totally miss Cat Deeley and her super lanky frame.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Poetry, Speaking To Me =-.
IADD is eating my life. At this rate my dissertation has a better shot at writing itself. I haven’t gotten anything done this week, I might have to put myself on iPhone probation.
Haaaah yeah right.
.-= Susie´s last blog ..Soft Science =-.
Aren’t there meetings for IADD? Just askin’ since I should start attending before my other half checks me into rehab for it.
I agree with the others, we need to start a support group. For me it’s “oh, I just need to check my emailGoogleReaderFacebookworkemailMamaBargainsTwitterCNN
one more time, then I can turn the computer off.” But then when I get to the end of the loop, it’s been enough time since I started that I have to just do it one more time….
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..Misc. Monday =-.
This game can also be played with skype. But it’s less fun because its family and who wants to family’s faces contorted into fugly while skype has a minor break down? Who am I kidding, EVERYBODY.
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..The Hair Gauge: Cute Boys Apatow and Tennis Style, That’s Just How I Roll =-.
I freakin’ love it! Awesome reflexes too.
I don’t know what I am going to do once school begins in a few weeks.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Back To School Rituals =-.
You are a genius.
.-= torrie´s last blog ..Our oldest =-.
I’m waiting for this disorder to be added to the DSM, making it official, since I think I have it too!
If I cut back on the computer I may go into full blown depression and nobody wants that shit.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Oh the insanity! =-.
We love that game at our house!!! So funny!
And I know what you mean about the internet, it sucks me in everytime. Except now my power cord is going out so I only have a limited time on the computer before it dies so i’ve had to make rotations of things I check before it dies and I have to beg/plead for it to charge again to check the rest.
ps. I also read on MSN, about a 15 year old dying in china while at a camp for internet addiction…
.-= Miss Blur´s last blog ..Weekend and A tattoo?? =-.
I suffer from this same affliction. Today while I could not access Twitter at work I actually lost my mind.
.-= sizzle´s last blog ..More to Hate =-.
I totally have this too. The trick is to get a computer that takes freakin’ FOREVER to do anything and then freezes when it starts to actually do something. That’s a bit of a deterrent.
I believe that IADD will be accompanied by carpal tunnel syndrome, acute muscle spams in the neck and scroll-induced vertigo.
I am also afflicted with the IADD… just looking for a cure now…
Indeed – I cannot pass my chair without planting my butt in it. Its so bad, I’ve actually started hiding my computer from myself by leaving it in the car, or when I go to work, leaving it at home! (our office blocks all the social and blog sites)
.-= Alice Q. Foodie´s last blog .."We Like it Wild" on Design Sponge =-.
I sooooo have this
It has only been made worse since I have been out on maternity leave. I will be out for three weeks already tomorrow. And still no baby! So I have been online all the time, bored out of my mind.
Thanks for keeping me entertained while I sit here and wait on this baby….
If you start a 12-step group, I might be interested. If you start a Flickr group, I am TOTALLY in!
.-= Sue @ My Party of 6´s last blog ..the end of dread =-.
I know this probably isn’t helping, but if you can’t get enough SYTYCD (who can?!) I recapped the finale on my site…
http://bowdenisms.blogspot.com/2009/08/cant-spell-finale-without-k-o-d-k.html
….because apparently I’m an IADD sufferer as well. But I firmly belive Cat Deely has healing powers. Or at least really great hair.
.-= courtneyjo´s last blog ..And the envelope please…. =-.
I think that I need a therapy for IADD or else I need to become better at multi tasking. Good post.
.-= Mama in the City´s last blog ..The Sweetest Thing: My Boy Benjamin =-.
I know exactly what you mean!!
.-= Marissa´s last blog ..This is life. =-.
I wrote literally almost the exact same post three days ago. There must be something in the air…I empathize a zillion times with everything you’ve said.
http://memydogsmylife.blogspot.com/2009/08/control-alt-delete.html
i am definitely laptop addicted, glad to know i am not the only one
.-= sarah´s last blog ..9 years =-.
I will admit, I felt a little bit of withdrawal pain when twitter was down. I have come to realize that I now NEED to be entertained by other people…..hmmm, much like a child….oh crap
after I comment on this I’m off to watch ‘how to poach an egg…’ ADDICTION IS UGLY :)
Seriously, I blame my iPhone for a lot of this. Like I don’t even have to open the laptop anymore when I want to see what the weather forecast is or where the closest Taco Bell is.
The loss of Twitter for the day yesterday kind of showed me that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I spend too much time on the internet.
.-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Confessions Of A Reality Show Junkie =-.
Wow, I am amazed that you can watch SYTYCD all the way through. I love the show, but 2 hours or chatter and nonstop commercials are too much for me. I get through an entire episode in about 30 minutes with my DVR. :)
Flipping hilarious facial expression. I will have to try this. I, too, suffer from IADD.
You are not alone in this struggle, my friend. Not alone.
.-= sharrison´s last blog ..Under Pressure =-.
I am with Haley–I can’t even watch a whole SYTYCD anymore. Also, i compulsively hit my send/receive/check for new mail button. I agree with the others: we need a support group. and, maybe a ribbon. every good group has a ribbon.
.-= Lindsey´s last blog ..Splurge: Burberry =-.
OMG. THIS IS SO ME. to a T. i have to have the trust mac at my fingertips at all times. its a sickness for sure.
Ha! I do this exact same thing when pausing a movie; now I’ve got my 8yo daughter doing it. If the face you stop on isn’t sufficiently dorky enough, you have to try again. It’s oddly satisfying, isn’t it?
Hi..I am in Dallas as well. Glad to see that I am not lone. Love your blog!
when i was locked out of twitter for a week, i realized no one really needs to hear or care about what i have to say. i was going to forget about it. Then, i started panicking and had to open another one just out of pure obsession.
.-= gorillabuns´s last blog ..it’s technotronic =-.
uh, yeah. i actually get annoyed, seriously annoyed, with political blogs because what’s with having the same stories on your front page for more than 10 minutes? that’s the same story i already read, i want the update!
and don’t get me started on twitter and facebook. if my agency hadn’t cut off our access to them at the office, i’d NEVER get anything done. literally. never.
.-= suz´s last blog ..JillianMania =-.
I am cracking up at the picture of Cat for many reasons. My daughter and her friend, who were 9 at the time, paused SYTYCD last summer. It was the exact same pic of Cat with her tongue out!! They laughed the entire night and had to keep replaying it 100 times in a row. Their standing joke to this day, one year later, is to look at each other, stick out their tongue and say “Cat”!!
I know, hoIy short attention span.
I have my finger on the fast forward button the entire time I watch a show- to the point where eventually I have an indentation and cramp in my hand.
sad really.
But I am so doing this next time I watch t.v.
I’m sure to get a few doozies when pausing on Mary Murphy’s mug.
Have you seen Nurse Jackie on HBO yet?
my new fav. show- no fast forwarding necessary.