What I’m Buying Today: More J. Crew Shit


I suck. I completely suck donkey ass.

I was doing so well! 6 weeks in and not a thing bought! GAHHHHHH, I am a truly sick individual.

You see, I had an out in this whole No Shopping Adventure. In my possession was a J. Crew gift card from Christmas that I was hoarding for the perfect opportunity. A pinch hitter, if you will. When times got tough and I was jonesing for something new, I could pull that bad boy out and hit the racks.

I knew exactly what I was going to buy today. This cardigan.


(On sale for $34.99!)

You know, the cardigan wasn’t really doing much for me on the website. Gray, ruffles, tissue tee material…it’s okay. I noticed it went on sale this week, so Wito and I took a little trip to J. Crew this morning. I tried it on and well, the clouds parted and I saw the light. It’s so cute and chic and perfect for my daily life. I had about $50 left on the card – I was just going to purchase it and run.

Until I saw the exact same cardigan in the most lovely shade of pink. NOT the shade shown on the website, but a deeper, lovelier, PERFECT PINK THAT I JUST HAD TO HAVE. DAMMIT!

Then, Jay (the greatest J. Crew associate ever – damn you, Jay!) brought this top to the dressing room.


Also, on sale! In slub cotton! I WANT TO GO ALL THE WAY WITH SLUB COTTON.

I spent 50 dollars over the amount of the gift card.

Did I mention that I’m a huge failure who sucks donkey ass?

The shirts are still in the bag. I think I might take a couple of them back. I can’t believe I actually feel this crappy about breaking my no shopping mandate. What is happening to meeeeeeeee?

What would you do? Say screw it or take two of the items back?



  1. You do not suck donkey ass, J Crew is clearly at fault here for being so kick ass with its spring line. I just got a ANOTHER catalog today and it is calling me over right now….

    I have that charcoal tee in my cart….I’m afraid to go to the store and see everything in person right now.

  2. my fortune cookie last week read as follows: Don’t practice moderation in excess….

    I think you should keep all three because they obviously make you feel really great and you LOVE them. Now that you have them you can go on your way and be good for another 6 weeks.

  3. As much as I hate to say it…you feel guilty for a reason. You made a promise to yourself and broke it. Its like if you work out and then go home and eat half a pizza dipped in ranch. You feel guilty becuase you defeated the purpose. Buying the shirts totally negated what you had been hoping to accomplish. I love the shirts, and the fact that they are still in the bag tells me you know what you should do! :) Chin up!

  4. I voted that you should keep the shirts because $50 is not crazy AND you got things that you will wear on a daily basis instead of something less useful. Maybe you should call this your “reward purchase” and allot another $50 for the end of April to celebrate how well you have done…the way I see it, if you truly had an unstoppable addiction, you would have dropped way more cash than you did at your Spiritual Homeland store, right?

  5. I’d feel guilty too, but then again walking into J.Crew is like walking into a crack house for me. You’ve done SO well with what you’re not buying – consider it a reward! And a SALE REWARD nonetheless! And now I’m off to J.Crew to take my crack hit.

  6. First of all… they’re all adorable. I’m having a hard time not going over to J.Crew & picking some up for mah-self :) But I think you should view this as your one strike in your no-shopping mandate. Nobody’s perfect– just extend your no-shopping rule for an extra week as penanace!

  7. Keep them all and extend your No Shopping Mandate a few days longer than originally planned. I’d say…five days. A WEEK TOPS!

  8. Are you guys in a tough spot financially? Do you have a clothing budget? If you have budgeted for this type of thing, I say go for it. You will be helping the economy get back on track.

    However, if you are really trying to save more money, or if it just isn’t in your budget, I’d take two of them back.

  9. All I can say is that taking them back will make you feel better… and once they go on sale, then perhaps they will fit the requirements of the gift card?

  10. I vote get your husband to reimburse you so you can blame it on him and all will be right in the world. Cause 6 weeks?? 6 weeks is a long time! But J.Crew cotton goodness? Who can turn it down!!??

  11. I have to say, I agree with everyone who suggested that taking the items back will make you feel better. Do you honestly need them? Come on, honestly now!!! Remember this: http://whoorl.com/archives/1101

    I agree slub cotton is THE BEST, but there will always be more and obviously you are feeling guilty about it. And soon “the contest” will be over anyway. Just imagine what I am living through as I promised myself not to buy any new piece of clothing at all this year.

  12. Keep them…you bought them on sale and if you do return them you may feel resentful and end up buying even more in April, right???? Plus it’s all really cute and you deserve it ;-)

  13. Keep them all. Seriously. You have been way too good.

    Plus, I’ll feel better since I am going shopping tonight.

  14. Pick between the gray and the pink cardi and take one back. Then you only go $15 over. $15 you can live with, right?

  15. A) if you suck donkey ass, you look damn hot doing it.
    B) if you return them, you will only dream about what could’ve been…
    C) i get my tips from your site, so you CAN’T do returns


  16. So, I’m trying a modified shopping ban, and this may help you in your moral/fiscal dilemma. I allow myself to shop with money I make selling stuff I don’t wear on ebay. Win-win. It’s not extra money I’m spending, just netting out. And, in theory, I will find more things I’m not wearing than things I want to buy and my closet will look leaner and cleaner as a result. In theory.

  17. Carla Hinkle says:

    Honey (and I say this with love as a somewhat-reformed Big Time Shopper), they only way you should keep those shirts is if you give away AT LEAST a garbage bag full of clothes. AT LEAST.

    I have seen the photos of your closet. That used to be my closet. Until I had 2 kids and didn’t get a bigger house and the damn kids kept needing more and more closet space, and I had to get my stuff out. Big bags and bags of stuff.

    Now I have a rule that if something is coming in, something else (and preferably 2 somethings) must go out.

    Can I tell you? You will feel SO MUCH BETTER if you clear out a bunch of clothes. And then you can keep the shirts! Everybody wins!

    I just took 3 bags of clothes to Goodwill, but I STILL FEEL GUILTY. (Although, these comments are lessening the guilt rapidly.)

  18. I say keep them all but I’m a slut for J. Crew so I might be a little biased.

  19. We are a bunch of enablers! I totally voted for you to keep them. Especially if you like! them and they fit you well.

    Maybe to balance the guilt, that is heavy, you could purge your closet of two items?

  20. That’s tough.

    I’ve given up shopping for the whole year, and recently had to call my mom to ask whether I had permission to spend a $75 check on a pair of $115 boots.

    Our rationale was that the check WAS a gift, and I’m allowed to accept gifts of clothing (which was a helpful conversation, because she didn’t know I’m not shopping thus she didn’t know how much I would APPRECIATE gifts of clothing), I could spend the $75 on anything.

    But I couldn’t bring myself to buy the boots. That would have required an extra $40 of my own money. And once I compromise a little, it opens the floodgates.

    Instead I found an ADORABLE gray purse on etsy for $69 and now I have a whole $6 to buy ice cream!!

    (I’m not telling you what to do in your situation, because we are different people. Though, if I’m honest with you, I’ll be a bit envious if you get 3 JCrew shirts AND those Valentine’s gifts from your hubby.)

  21. Could you keep them and just not wear them until your no-shopping mandate is over? I think that’s fair.

  22. Well, I am one of your official shopping enablers. So it’s no big secret that I say KEEP THEM. You could extend the hiatus a bit beyond your original time frame, or you could say screw it, and just see the big picture, which is that you have been really really good overall.

    Love ya anyway.

  23. Listen, I just signed up for a ONE YEAR shopping ban (self-imposed but necessary) so I don’t want to hear it, donkey. ; ) Take them back. Do it. Go. Because once your (relatively short) time is up, you’ll feel great for having really, truly, officially stuck it out.

  24. I totally thought that voting to return two of the shirts would send me to Hell, but it looks like I’m not the only evil person who reads this website. In fact, 44% of us are damned.

    Anyway, I figure it this way: if you love the shirts, you love ’em and you should enjoy them. But if you love your no-shopping mandate more – and it seems that you do, or at least you really really want to succeed at it – then you aren’t going to enjoy the shirts as much as you would if you’d spent $50 on something you really wanted, really loved, really thoughtfully considered before purchasing as an exception to your self-mandate.

    Just don’t keep them if you’re going to feel guilty, that’s all. I don’t personally think you should feel guilty, it’s only $50 after all and you’ll likely use the purchases, but if you are going to feel guilty then it isn’t worth keeping them.

  25. I would take them back.

    Slub cotton doesn’t look good on me.

  26. I also vote to keep it if and only if you donate at least 2 items in their place. I can’t say return because I know I damn sure wouldn’t.

  27. Return. Returnreturnreturn. You are stronger than the shirts. Your life is bigger and more meaningful than a cute wardrobe. Even in the perfect pink. I would venture to say you will have learned something very cool about yourself at the end of this ban.

  28. The way I see it, you have lots of options. You can return two of them to assuade your guilt. You can keep all of them and donate two other items as beanery said. You can just say “screw it!” and keep three great shirts that you’ll probably wear often. Or, much on the same idea as being on a diet and having to occassionally treat yourself to avoid failure, you can pencil in dates on the calendar to spend $50 or less. That one’s my favorite.

  29. I had to figure this out using a mathematical ratio.

    J. Crew : Whoorl = the Gap : Kim (with variable being new spring fabrics and colors), the only logical answer is to take the items out of the bag and hang them in your closet. I just did the same thing with two of those pretty new lightweight Gap cardis and I’m a better person for it.

    I guess my algebra teacher was right – I DO use math in real life!

  30. Take it back!! You’ll feel so much better!!

  31. You could always just wait until the mandate is over to actually wear them. That could be your own self-inflicted “punishment” for breaking your mandate. That’s what I’d do.

  32. I’d keep the cardigans (really cute). The shirts aren’t doing it for me, I would return them.
    What was the no-shopping goal? 2 months? If so, you almost made it, so don’t kick yourself, something is something.

  33. Fyi, returning items that you bought on sale is like losing money. It may not seem that way at first but it truly is. You’ll see it my way if you really analyze the situation after a couple of drinks. And really, in this economy, can you really afford to just throw money (saved!) away by returning those cute clothes? I didn’t think so! Now wear them with a smile! Plus, you helped out the economy by being a good little consumer and shopping at J.Crew is like standing behind the president(‘s wife’s shopping choices…). You should pat yourself on the back :)

    (now go watch the news, do a shot every time you hear “financial crisis” and come back and read this and it will make perfect sense ;)

  34. Hmm, so I guess I need a little more information before offering some “helpful” advice. heehee.

    So what was your original reasoning behind the no shopping thing anyway? I had the impression that it was not a financial decision, though if I’m wrong about that and it WAS all about the money, you may be happy to hear that I vote for KEEPING all the shirts. $50 is not too much money, and you’ll likely never miss it.

    However, I’m thinking you had some other rational for this pursuit. I don’t pretend to know what that was (thinking you had too many “things”, thinking you spent too much time and effort on shopping? I have no idea – and I am SOOO not judging you here, just to be clear – more like projecting thoughts about ME onto you). In any case, assuming the reason was not financial, I’d actually vote to return them. You’ll feel better. Although, I have to note that if you really want to break a shopping habit, I’m not positive this “what I’m not buying” feature (which I LOVE) is the most productive, as you actually have to SHOP (on the internet, but still) to do it. Same comment goes for shopping with gift cards, or shopping on the internet and having your husband buy the (PRETTY) things you pick out.

    Actually, that entire last paragraph has TOTALLY BUMMED ME OUT.

    I’ve changed my mind. Keep EVERYTHING! No matter what! Have fun! Keep writing lovely blog posts for me to read! All the best to you and yours! etc etc etc. :)

  35. Return one of the shirts. That way you are demonstrating will power, but still getting a treat. HOWEVER, keep the other shirt for a week-10 days IN THE BAG. Think hard about whether you really want it. If after that period you still love it, then keep it.

  36. I say f**k it! You’ve already done the deed. Keep them. Plus, I was secretly not shopping too but I only lasted 2 weeks…you, YOU lasted 6 whole weeks. So, clearly, you don’t suck nearly as much donkey balls as I do.

  37. Don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re bound to slip up every now and then, and who cares? Besides, when you’ve got fantastic salespeople showing how amazing you look, it can’t be helped…it just can’t.

  38. hello! keep them!! they were on SALE. wouldn’t you feel more guilty if they were NOT on sale right? so really…you HAD to buy them!

    … maybe keep them but not wear them for awhile. so it’s not like shopping. it’s like..saving. for a rainy day!

  39. At first, I was totally going with keep ALL the shirts! Mainly because I personally hate returning things. But, honestly, you will probably feel better if you meet yourself halfway. As in, only spending the amount on your gift card or lower (because gift cards don’t really count). Stick with the pink shirt….who needs more grey in their life right now?

  40. i’d say keep them. if this was a diet and you went overboard one time – you can’t take it back. returning it doesn’t mean you didn’t but it in the first place. just get back up on the horse and extend your end date further. plus having them around will remind you of it, and perhaps give you more resolve to stick to it.

  41. Keep them & consider it doing your part for the economy.

  42. Keep the pink (cause you love it) and return the other two–do you honestly REALLY need them? Stick to your resolution, you’ll be happy in the end! OR, you could send them to me….that way you still get the happy feeling of buying something and the better feeling of giving a gift. I think you should go for option #2. :)

  43. keep the gift card stuff and return the rest. you find something even cuter when your shopping ban ends, I know it. And you’ll feel great buying it.

  44. Return! You can do it! You are stronger than the shirts. What will be better, shirts or that feeling of accomplishment at the end? What do you want to make you happy, stuff or something you can do?

    (They are adorable though! Love seeing all the stuff you find. Unfortunately, I’m in Canada so no J.Crew here)

  45. You do NOT suck donkey ass! In fact, I see it as a rather heroic act, actually. You see, in this time of economic crisis, you went against your shoopping ban in order to *stimulate the economy*. You have done service to your country. America is counting on you to NOT return the shirts to Michelle Obama’s favorite store!

  46. Oh mah gah….NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You were so close! Perhaps I could rationalize had you found some adorable Jackie O dress in your fave green, but cardigans and a top in slub cotton? Uh uh. Not worth the cheating.

  47. keep them all. and promise you won’t do it again. promise now!

  48. Beth Kujawski says:

    As someone who literally just came from a memorial service, I say enjoy the shirts. They make you happy. LIfe is literally too short. (The friend being remembered was 38.) So long as you’re not going to be unable to pay rent or Wito won’t have to go without a few meals because you bought a couple of shirts, enjoy them. Guilt-free. Promises, schmomises. No one can be perfect all the time. Just ask all those people who joined a gym on January 2 and have stopped going already.

  49. The state of the economy reflects too few people shopping and spending. Consider your purchases your patriotic duty. Hey, you are a hero!

  50. Consider it a 6 week prize for doing so well. if you only spend $50 every 6 weeks, that still is a reasonable amount over a whole year.

  51. Take them all back. It’s a slippery slope!!!
    Character trumps well-dressed.

  52. yep, again…. You’re just doing your part for the economy. Shop on! Unless of course, your budget suffers for it….

  53. You feel guilty because you broke a promise to yourself. Keep one cardi, return the rest. And that shirt is cute, but not like you won’t survive without it. Besides, I would DIE to have the clothes already in your closet. Go find something cool in there you have forgotten about. You are shopping just to shop, even if it is a small purchase, there is no way you need two really lightweight ruffled cardigans.

  54. Honestly, I am kinda done hearing about not shopping or shopping. I think you have an amazing closet of clothing and always look cute.

    That said, I used to love your blog for Wito updates and funny glib stuff. Now it feels like it is all about how you must have $500 purses and $300 sunglasses and OMG you can’t possibly buy them until after you haven’t shopped for a self-imposed couple months. It just comes across as really, oh… geeze..boring. And a bit snobby.

    Honestly, I would love to have the money to buy the stuff you have and I would spend it on such things if I had the money, I am not resentful of what you choose to buy, but I miss the fun Wito and Whoorl stuff, and stories that made me read the blog in the first place. I have to say I just don’t connect with the shopping do or die stuff.

  55. Jessica says:

    Okay, so I can kind of familiarize. First off, I totally understand the lure of shopping. So much so that I truly have no idea what is in my closet. In addition, I am a member of Weight Watchers (which may seem like a non-sequitur, but follow me here) so I think it’s important to examine the situations in which you want to break your rules.

    1. What typically makes you think of shopping?
    2. What items do you really need to live on a weekly basis?
    3. Why J.Crew? There are other stores, and probably cheaper ones that have similar clothing.
    4. How do you feel, before during and after shopping?

    Okay, and some other food for thought. Where do your clothes come from? Are they made by people who don’t pay their folks fair wages? Is the stuff in your clothes good for the environment? With as much as you spend at JCrew when you are not dieting, it might be worth it to think about that.

    Good luck with making a choice. I think my overall message is that before shop dieting, make a plan and get to know your habits better so that you have better chances for success, and make sure your goal makes sense for you.

  56. I think you should return them… sorry! But the fact that you feel guilty about it means that you won’t feel as good wearing them as you should. And frankly, from what I can tell you look amazing in just about anything and have fantastic taste, so it’s not like it’s a rare thing to find something that looks great on you!

  57. I have a selfish reason for hoping you’ll return the shirts. I’m following your example and shopping fasting too (is that a real phrase?) … so be strong for me, sister!

    If not shopping is what you really want — and only you can know if it is — then you’ll know what you should do.

    Either way, good luck!

  58. I’m kind of wondering what happened now!

  59. Hmmmm….I commented on the wrong post. But the idea still stands.

  60. Split the difference. Keep one, return one. Good luck!! :)

  61. Just got to this post and now I’m all curious and stuff.

    Did you return or didn’t you!?

    Ah! The suspense!

  62. I hear you. I got the catalog in the mail the other day and it killed me. I ended up getting the chiffon trim tissue tee cardigan. But I want some of the slub cotton stuff too. I think you deserve to keep them. You used a gift card and you’ve gone 6 weeks, that is incredible!! I keep trying to do what you’ve done, and I mess up every few days. I am starting anew today.

  63. What I do when I really, really want to keep something is go without going out for lunch/coffee/beers/whatever you like to go out for until I’ve paid myself back for what I’ve spent on some particular item that I couldn’t live without. For example, for a while I was spending about $5 to $8 a day on lunch. I bought myself a bunch of new clothes, and I’ve started bringing my lunch which saves me that daily money.

  64. Dying to know what you decided…

  65. Ok, I didn’t read the others, but if it were me—I would return the pink sweater because it wasn’t what I came for. I would, however, keep the short sleeved one due to the fact you were set up by the sales clerk when he brought it to your dressing room. And then, I could sleep at night. Good Luck.

  66. This is my suggestion for “other”. Give them away in a reader contest. I would love a new shirt.