Ode To My Bitches



What a perfect weekend. My three very best friends, in the same place at the same time, bearing gifts for Whoorlito. What a rarity! We usually make it happen once a year, but it has become increasingly harder as we grow older and families expand. So as you can imagine, in my current sappy state, I nearly imploded with love.

However, first things first. To my fellow Mac users, have you played around with Photo Booth? Hours upon hours of entertainment, I tell ya. It’s a true miracle the four of us actually left the house.

Our weekend consisted of one day down in my hood and one day in LA, home to the fab Caroline. Saturday, the girls came down to my place with all sorts of goodies for Whoorlito, Prince of all Spoiled Children. He received books, toys, clothes, more clothes, and please feast your eyes on this beauty. Yes, the cutest Kate Spade diaper bag on the planet. Which, might I add, will go famously with the gift I just received from my parents. Ahhh, the infamous Bugaboo. The Stroller of Champions! The Stroller of Controversy! The stroller of which owners are constantly reminded that YOU COULD FEED A SMALL NATION OF CHILDREN WITH THAT PRICETAG. And yes, it used to bother me a bit. I would immediately launch into my memorized sales pitch, “Let me tell you about ALL the details of this stroller – it’s a bassinet AND a toddler stroller! It’s all the stroller you will ever need! Air-filled suspension tires! Precision handling! Mosquito nets! Rain covers!”

Now, I start and end the discussion with a brief, “To each his own, sonny”. Or maybe, “To each his own, you nosy assmunch with no life”. Usually, one of the two does it.

Besides the fabulous mini-shower, we walked around the beach, enjoyed the weather while eating outside at great restaurants and visited my favorite cupcake place (no line this time!). Of course, all of this wouldn’t be complete without plenty of juicy gossip and embarrassing stories of our past. We’ve definitely been through a lot together- weddings, births, deaths, several moves around the country and many boys.

I literally have boxes of photos featuring the four of us. As I perused these boxes recently, something became blatantly apparent. While many of photos from the the past years contain the four of us looking sweet and sober, most involve varying degrees of drunkenness.

Exhibit #1 – Sweet and Relatively Sober.


Exhibit #2- Drunk and/or Dazed.


And the Piece de Resistance. Dating back to 1988, it is where the roots of our friendship were planted. Two freshman high school girls looking hot with some serious perm action. My braces were pretty fresh, too.


Thanks for the past 18 years, princesses.



  1. Girlfriends rock! I’m glad you were able to have some quality time with your special ladies before the babe arrives. And hooray for sweet presents! :)

  2. Um, best. Weekend. Ever! So much fun.

    Dear God, some of those old photos are quite frightening. We’re doing this get together once a year from here on out.

  3. Oh, that’s so awesome. You make me miss my girls something FIERCE.

    Are you all friends from HS or college? If HS, that is mighty impressive! ;-)

  4. It’s been bugging me since I started reading your blog. I couldn’t figure out who you looked like. Now I know. Jacklyn Smith.

  5. bishOp stu tu says:

    whOOrl gOOrl y amigas….

    Absolutely the cOOlest, neatest and prettiest quartet on the planet.

    Simply put…the pictures put a HUGE SMILE on my face.

    It has been my honor and great pleasure to witness this friendship.

    carry on dudettes!

    da bishOp

  6. Cute photos! You’re seriously making me miss my girls, who live out where you are. Whaaa.

  7. Bethany Coffey says:

    That was so cool. You are a very lucky gal to have and be able to hold on to those great friendships. I’m jealous:( But happy for you!!!
    Ya’ll look beautiful and all very fresh and Cali-ish

  8. I love the pictures. Isn’t it amazing that after so much time, it still seems like no time at all has passed when your friends get together? I’m glad you had a great weekend. Makes me want to plan a trip back to Florida soon.

  9. Uh, clearly one of my friends needs to get her damn self knocked up because you guys are so effing cute I cannot stand it and I want IN on the fun!! Adorable. And skinny bitches, all of you.

  10. What a fabulous girls weekend. And thanks for the glimpse back, even drunk you gals are gorgeous. Have fun getting all Whoorlito’s stuff together, I only wish I had had a bag like that when I needed it.

  11. Thanks for the glimpse into the past. Those 80’s pictures are the best. Oh, and that diaper bag…I’d get knocked up just to have that bag. You’re one lucky girl to have such friends.

  12. love the photos! i agree, even drunk you are all gorgeous. :)

    old friends are the best.

  13. Oh the family-friends. How absolutely perfect. Those are the ones you want to be around for life-changing events, as they make wherever you are, home.

  14. OMG! I have diaper bag envy…

  15. Oh man! I’ve just realized I’m terribly jealous. You guys are just too fantastic looking.

  16. Jurgen Nation says:

    Dang, y’alls are so purty! WHOORL!! I MISS YOU!

  17. I love, love, love the photo with their hands on your Whoorlito belly! I didn’t let people take pictures of me when I was pregnant… for either of my kids. And I so regret it now. :-(

  18. I’m loving the little shirt with its flipped-up collar. Just like dad!

  19. Kara Griser says:

    Hi I am one of Ashley’s friends and she sent this to me. What a writer you are, love the pics too. It is so nice to see pictures of you all to put the stories and names with faces. What a beautiful group of friends! Congrats on the baby to be, I have two and being a mother is a fabulous thing. Now we just have to hook AShley up right! Good Luck love the pics!

  20. Lyndsay says:

    I’m going in to writhdrawal. Please blog….

  21. love the photos love! thanks for walking me down memory lane. ode to my bitches. I miss you already!!! hugs to whoorlito. :)