Rain Rain Go Away


It’s pouring in Southern California. I guess winter finally made an appearance. I personally don’t mind the rain- it’s the only weather change we experience around here. Well wait, maybe I mean I don’t mind the rain when I’m lying in my bed, eating bonbons and watching Ellen. I DO mind the rain when I have to join society and drive on the streets with Californians. Good God, are they scared of the rain! Total shit-for-brains. It’s not sleet, people. It’s rain.

My mom left this morning. We had a great mother/daughter weekend, except it wasn’t a mother/daughter weekend. It was a mother/daughter/son-in-law weekend. Yes, D was supposed to be in Las Vegas for a bachelor party ensuring our fabulous all-girls rendezvous, but those plans were scrapped when he woke up hurling from food poisoning on Friday morning. When my mother called to tell my father the situation, he casually asked her if I had poisoned D’s food to keep him from frequenting the titty bars, to which she replied, “Probably”.

OH, THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. Although, seriously, why didn’t I think of that? Kidding, people. I kid. Or maybe not. Hahaha, MWAHHAHAAAA!

He was in some pretty disgusting form all weekend. Our toilet was working overtime in the most heinous way. How fun for my mom!! But did that stop the shopping bonanza? HELL NO! And I plan on showing you all my new baby gear when I get my ass out of my comfy bed and take photos (which isn’t going to be until tomorrow).

Until then, I will ponder why Goldfish crackers leave such a shitty taste in my mouth.



  1. why DO goldfish crackers leave a . . . residue? i have experienced the same thing. :)

  2. I’m eating the regular ones. What are these flavor-blasted you speak of? Yum.

  3. They did take out the trans-fat. Maybe you have the new ones and whatever they replaced the trans-fatty acids with is leaving the bad taste.

  4. He ate some fish tacos that had been sitting out on our kitchen counter for a couple of hours. It was not pretty.

  5. fish tacos….blah…you’ve got to be very careful with the fish too mr. D!

    i’m sorry he was sick but glad you had a wonderful visit with your mother, who by the way is the coolest!

  6. i’m totally getting the xplosive pizza ones. :D

  7. Well, are you eating the regular ones are the flavor blasted goldfish? Flavor blasted don’t leave the residue, in my opinion.

  8. I just slam a couple of Diet Cokes when I eat the Goldfish. No yucky residue. Of course, Coke/Diet Coke doesn’t let any residue collect… on anything. Ever put a penny in a little dish with some Coke? Eeeek. I wonder what it’s doing to my insides!

    Can’t wait to see the baby booty you collected!

  9. Jurgen Nation says:

    Hey, they DO leave a crappy mouth silt. It’s a weird filmy sensation that I hate. Anyhoo, I can’t wait to see your loot. What on earth did D eat that made him so sick?

  10. Oh, they have these new “Flavor Blasted” goldfish – I like the pizza flavor. They’re addictive. They’re in the dinky paper bag – you can’t buy the giant box – and it’s all sparkly. Surely we don’t have something in Oklahoma that you don’t have in Cali?

  11. from the Nabisco web site:(I’m such a nerd)
    Flavor Blasted® Goldfish® Crackers
    Blast off to a new galaxy of flavorful fun! Just one bite will send your taste buds into orbit. When you’re ready to try something extreme — try satisfying your hunger with Xtra Cheddar, Xplosive Pizza, Nothin’ But Nacho or Burstin BBQ Cheddar Flavor Blasted® Goldfish® Crackers. They blow other snacks away.