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Spanx Totally Freak Me Out

Kristen and I asked for feedback on what subject matter we should address in our Mama Said videos, and, well, the tribe spoke. Spanx, it is, my friends.

I find Spanx to be panic-inducing. You?

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10 Comments
  • j.mill

    July 11, 2013 at 11:15 am

    I’ve never worn spanx but I have worn constricting pantyhose before and felt like I was going to pass out. I got grouchy, sick to my stomach and surprisingly over-heated from the stress. I’m with you, Sarah – thongs all the way!

  • Martha

    July 12, 2013 at 11:04 am

    Spanx! I love what they do for my generous rear…and my post menopausal belly…..but I can’t say they are comfortable. I can tolerate them for short periods of time only. I have triedthename brand as well as the cheaper “assets” from target…also made by spans..and prefer the “assets”. True confession time….I have indeed used the pee -hole for its intended purpose! It’s similar to peeing without removing your bikini bottom:). One does it very carefully…perhaps not a good idea to try if you’ve been drinking. Thongs are not the answer for me as my own personal assets are rather lumpy! If I had no body fat I would probably prefer a thong.

  • Amber S.

    July 12, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    My cat just left the room because of my laughing… Thanks ladies! :)

    I’m in my late 20s, and my husband and I don’t have kids yet. I’m a size 10 and fairly hourglass shaped but my trouble area is my stomach. If I wear a fitted shirt (I’m not talking skin-tight, but just not baggy), it looks great as long as I stand. But as soon as I sit, it’s mushy muffin-top city! I have female cousins who are built the same, and heavier, and they wear Spanx every day. Every! Day! Mind blowing. I will break out the Spanx for fancy occasions or more fitted dresses only. And dammit my shape is so much tighter and smoother, but for the life of me, I just can’t stand that constricted feeling. And when I take them off, I have those “slept real hard on wrinkled sheets” indents from the seams going down my body like I’m some kind of plastic-made doll. Oh the indentations…

    I’ve always wondered about the pee hole too. Am I the only one who wears underwear (a lace thong) UNDERNEATH my Spanx? I feel like I’m doing it wrong.

  • Ginger

    July 12, 2013 at 4:55 pm

    Sarah, you wear size 0 or something. The rest of us who even with daily diet and exercise are a little bigger need spanx. Specially in a professional setting where loosing clothing is not the norm.

    Lucky you, though!

  • Sierra

    July 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Spanx freak me out too, but I am no stranger to thongs and have worn them exclusively since I was 15. A bit TMI but my tush is rather round, so anything I wear ends up where a thong does anyway, at least with a thong, it’s less fabric. I became a die hard Hanky Panky fan a few years ago but agree that sometimes the lace is still visible so thank you for the Commando tip! They are the same price as Hanky Panky’s and seem well worth the price tag!

  • Annabelle

    July 14, 2013 at 7:57 pm

    OMG, ladies. i have to say I’m a teensy bit disappointed. After hearing stories of things such as “double spanx” I was expecting some insight into what’s going on out there in Spanxdom. Especially about pee-hole adventures. Well, I’ll courageously share my stuff in the hopes it will draw out some other stories.

    I have a pair of the brand name spanx… and they are the full bra-line to mid-thigh set complete with the little detachable straps that hook around your bra if needed (never use) and the pee-hole (use all the time). They are tight but not suffocating, and they make my dresses look 100% better, so I wear them whenever I wear certain dresses (with underwear underneath). Lines and bumps/bulges disappear. They are the only pair of pantyhose/restrictivewear I’ve ever owned that don’t roll around when I sit or stand. But. I’m a bit conflicted about the pee-hole. I use it because oh so convenient! and I’ve been a swimmer for enough years to teach me how to effectively do the move-to-the-side move to avoid pulling off and on a wet swimsuit. It’s possible without a single missed drop, it really is. The horrifying thing about my spanx is that they are getting on in years, and while they still work like brand new, how can I say this… the pee-hole is starting to look more and more like the real thing. It’s starting to freak me out. Anyone else? Help?

  • Auntie G

    July 15, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    I’ve never work the brand name Spanx, just the Target brand and similar. I LOVE “spanx” for a crazy reason – I always wear them when I perform in shows because…they are tight enough that I can wear my mic pack on my inner thigh, instead of my lower back, where they ruin the line of most costumes and more importantly, are prone to moving around or coming disconnected. A director/costumer friend of mine showed me this trick once and it has never failed me. Embarrassing and ridiculous? Yes. Totally worth it? ALSO YES. I convert a lot of experienced actors and sound guys with every show.

  • Auntie G

    July 15, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    *uch* WORN, not “work.”

  • Jenn

    July 15, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    I always thought the hole was there to let that area BREATHE.
    Ventilation people! :)

  • Lauren

    July 17, 2013 at 9:13 am

    Kind of insufferable, guys. It’s like when the skinny girl complains she can’t gain weight:/ Some people need them to feel good. I’m not trying to be mean but you know, we all aren’t a size 0 and need a little help no matter how sausage making it makes us feel. It’s like anything though, painfully uncomfortable heels, pilling on the makeup. We do what we do to feel good!