Dear Target

I have a bone to pick with you, Target. First off, I would like you to know that I am a very nice person who enjoys giving the benefit of the doubt. You are a very popular store. I get it.

However, why must it be so difficult for you to keep my meager list of needed items in stock? Will the glorious day ever arrive when I can cross off 100% of the items on my shopping list before exiting your store? For instance, WHY OH GOD WHY is it so hard for you to keep Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths on your shelves? You have 3,000 Dove Moisturizing Face Cloths and 14,000 Dove Deep Clean Face Cloths sitting right there in front of my face, mocking me. All I need is ONE BOX of Sensitive Skin Cloths. WHHYYYYYYY?

Funny story, Target. Do you realize that the primary reason I started using Dove Sensitive Skin Face Cloths was because you couldn’t keep the Oil of Olay Sensitive Face Cloths on the shelves? So, after much trial and tribulation, I finally found a new brand that didn’t make my skin weep and always seemed to be in stock? But NOW, the Dove ones are always sold out? Do you know how this makes me feel, Target? It makes me feel very shaky. Isn’t that a funny story, Target? Not so much funny ha-ha, but funny stab stab STAB.

Same with deodorant. (Why is it so difficult for me to spell deodorant without spell check? Am I the only one?) I have long been a user of Secret Powder Fresh or “Protecting Powder” deodorant (p.s. – Secret, please stop changing the names. You are confusing me.), yet it has been virtually impossible to find on your shelves. I have spent many, many cumulative hours searching though the sea of Secret deodorants: Vanilla, Rockstar Rose, Tutti-Frutti, Wild Jasmine, Cherry Mischief (seriously, WHO wants their armpits to smell like fruit?), Truth or Pear, Sparkly Shit, WHATEVER. JUST GIVE ME MY OLD SCHOOL POWDER FRESH, PEEPS.

Yet, no dice. So, once again, I changed my personal preference to ensure an In Stock Status. Secret Unscented seemed to be the wise choice, considering there are usually 325 Unscented ones on your shelves at all times. Also, who knew that I would actually enjoy not making my armpits smell like a fabricated freshly-washed baby’s ass? It’s liberating, I tell you!

I bet you know where this is going, don’t you? Over the past couple of months, I can’t find a Secret Unscented to save my life.

Target, I’m beginning to think you are toying with me, knowing that I must visit you in order to buy all of my Method cleaning products. What’s a girl gotta do to get some health and beauty product love?



  • holly

    April 6, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    i was with you on that until you got to deodorant. i use secret unscented and there is never ONE in stock at target, if it is, the sticker has been pealed back and tampered with and messy white deodorant is stuck to the lid. i need to come to your target!

  • whoorl

    April 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Oh no, Holly. If you keep reading, you’ll see we’re in the same unfortunate boat.

  • sizzle

    April 6, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    I think you might need to move to Seattle because I have not experienced this sort of deficiency at any of my Targets. And for this I praise baby Jesus.

  • Sarah

    April 6, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Secret has erradicated the unscented. I can’t find it ANYWHERE: Target, RiteAid, Ralphs. It is gone :( I don’t know what to do…

    Whaaat? It’s still listed on the website…fingers crossed.


    April 6, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    I actually started using Degree Little Black Dress Certified, or some crap like that, because Target was out of my Secret (and I can’t get the cap off the Degree to save my life)…so I went to a different store and got a different Secret with an entirely new label and now I’m thinking of just growing my armpit hair and going au naturel. (Not really).

    And I’ve avoided using the “d” word in this whole comment becuase no, I don’t know how to spell it either.

  • Jessica

    April 6, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    Lately I can’t find my method products at Target. And they didn’t have my intuition cartridges. Tarrrrgetttt!!!

  • Kate

    April 6, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    I struggled endlessly with spelling deodorant correctly on the first try until I realized that it’s deODORant — so you just have to remember there’s an odor inside.

    Kate! OMG! You have solved my issue with spelling that word. You are a genius, my friend.

  • Stephanie

    April 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    True story: My husband and I once had a full-blown argument about how to spell deodorant.

    Method products . . . yummy.

  • Jessica

    April 6, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    I am all about drugstore.com for this reason. I order my deodorant, my husband’s deodorant and all my face stuff in one swoop and like three days later, it arrives. No searching, no empty shelves (WHY TARGET, WHY!) and also helps with the old budget…

    Kate, you have also taught me how to spell deodorant. I MAY be spelling deodorant continuously because now I know how to spell deodorant.


  • Amy

    April 6, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I’m originally from Minnesota, the Birthplace of Target. I never had trouble finding my preferred items in stock at any one of the number of Targets I frequented until I moved to Seattle. The Northgate Target is always so picked over I stopped going there and order all my toiletries from Drugstore.com.
    Did you know there is a schedule for when they restock certain departments? Wednesday is usually the day to stock the beauty department, but you can check with your store.

  • Shash

    April 6, 2009 at 7:03 pm

    I feel the same way, but about the Method products we apparently so covet. Target has scaled back on the amount of products they stock. My favorite aroma pill, Pomegranate Tea, is now MIA. SO my backup of Vanilla Apple? POOF! Gone too!

    Target is SO on notice around here….

  • Miguelina

    April 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Sure unscented gel. You’re welcome.

  • Jen

    April 6, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    I DO NOT understand the ‘Sparkly Shit’ deodorant thing that Secret has going on. Who the heck wants sparkles in their armpits???

  • Alana @ The Good Girl Gone Blog

    April 6, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I’m so sad to hear that you’ve had bad Target experiences. (Wow, I should do customer service for them…) Target is typically my “happy place,” and they usually have everything I need, plus tons of extra stuff that I want and don’t need but by anything (aka stuff for my non-existent kitchen).

  • Courtney

    April 6, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    I loooove Target, but I had a similar problem. I really really wanted the Baby Einstein Jumper for the baby and I got a gift card for Christmas. I went to FOUR different Targets before I found ONE in stock despite the first three saying they had at least five in the store! Lame-o. And then baby decided she doesn’t really think the jumper is that cool so there.

  • spandrel studios

    April 7, 2009 at 5:18 am

    The three Targets within a 10-mile radius of my house are routinely picked-over and bedraggled, especially these days, with everyone hunting for a bargain. I stick with my grocery store for HABA items.

  • Pam

    April 7, 2009 at 5:53 am

    OMG, I switched to the Dove senstive cloths because I could never find the Olay sensitive ones! My face will die a thousand deaths if the Dove ones go away too.

    I think I remember you suffer from rosacea – me too. Those sensitive face cloths are the only thing that don’t tear my face up. WAH!

  • ali

    April 7, 2009 at 6:36 am

    lalala. no target in canada…so i don’t have these problems.

    what i DO have a problem with is the deodorant that smells like fruit. SERIOUSLY. WHAT? who thought this was a good idea?

  • Laura in LA

    April 7, 2009 at 6:53 am

    My local Target isn’t even a Super Target….so good luck on ever finding the same thing twice in there.

  • Michelle

    April 7, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Whoorl – What are Method products? “Terget” (ever seen the SNL skit with Kristen Wiig?), is routinely striving to offer mediocre service at ours also…they answer their phones and say, “Target, can I help you find something?” and I always want to say, “NO PROBABLY NOT b/c you more than likely don’t have it to find in the first place!”

    Glad you’re posting again…funny as always :o)


  • Bonnie

    April 7, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    I would love to have a Target! I’m in Canada, and if you think Target has problems, try shopping at Zellers. Yikes. I would happily take the most poorly stocked Target in the States over one Zellers. The Orla Kiely for Target collection almost made me head for the border. Although, we do get lots of Method products, and I’m happy for that!

  • Darcey

    April 7, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    I now have four Targets within 10 minutes of my apartment, plus one on my way home from work, and I don’t live in suburbia. Not that I have a problem with Target. But, like everyone else here, I have a problem that I can’t depend on a single one of them to allow me to complete a single grocery list in one trip. And really? I don’t want to have to visit all four Targets in one afternoon – the mathematics of figuring out the likelihood of a certain item and the efficiency of the order I need to visit them would make my brain hurt.

  • pseudostoops

    April 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    Yeah, my bigger bone to pick is with Secret, which cannot make up its ever-loving mind about scents. Vanilla? Glittery packaging? Taking away all the normal scents from the “secret platinum protection” line, leaving me with only prickly pear or some such nonsense? WHY?

  • am'ti b

    April 7, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    if you lived in brooklyn you would have used even more colorful wording. if i have a list of 10 items i come home w/maybe one from target and the rest from duane reade.

  • nic

    April 7, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    good grief it was like you were speaking from my mind!

  • Krista

    April 7, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    I’m so with you on this! I have a deep love for Target– after all I’m a born and bred Minnesota girl– but I’m starting to get a little irritated. Why, oh why can they not keep Luvs size 4 in stock??? And I’m not talking about a the little packs– I’m talking about the jumbo box. I just don’t get it.

  • Theresa Christensen

    April 7, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    I’ve been having the same problem lately. It never fails . . . no matter how big or small my list, there is always one item I can’t find. Frustrating. I’m a new fan of your site, btw! I’ll be launching my own site soon, and yours serves as a model for me to emulate.

  • Suniverse

    April 8, 2009 at 8:21 am

    I thought it was just me! I loved the Secret Unscented and cannot find it anywhere. I’m using Tom’s of Maine. I’m using NATURAL DEODERANT. I’m not a hippie, Target. See what you made me do?

    Do not get me started on the missing Dove Sensitive Skin products. Grrr.

  • Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    April 8, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I’ve had the same deodorant problem at Target lately.

    That and our local Target has apparently discontinued selling maternity jeans. WHAT THE FUCK?! Do pregnant women not wear jeans around here?!

  • Sarah

    April 8, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    and then suddenly, without warning, they stopped carrying ANY L’oreal products…and I had to choose a new shampoo. Not an easy thing to do!

  • Lori

    April 8, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    Wow, just had the same deodorent problem. Maybe it’s a Secret problem instead of a Target problem.

  • Ninabi

    April 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    And to add insult to injury, Target mocks us in the candy aisle.

    Cinnamon Fire Jolly Ranchers? No longer carried (my husband’s favorite, too bad so sad for him).

    Runts? Sugar Babies? Bottle Caps?

    I guess they all ran off to WalMart.

  • nic

    April 8, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    please, please, please – if you are having problems with targets inventory – fill out customer comment cards and tell them so. they are often available on the backs of receipts and at target.com.

    the stocking system at target is not the best it can be and if you fill out the customer surveys they will actually go to corporate and some thing can be done about it. they stock things irregularly and some items are out of stock for quite a while [although we are almost at spring and a lot of companies are redoing their products: ie Secret redoing ALL of their deodorants causing the whole secret section to need to be replaced]

    but anyway – fill out customer surveys – they are beneficial.

  • Calee

    April 9, 2009 at 7:48 am

    My Target (on Jamboree by the Whole Foods at the District) has all of your items. Of course, it did not have the special no mess Color Wonder markers that are essential for our upcoming 14 hours on airplanes with a toddler.

  • suebob

    April 12, 2009 at 10:15 am

    I think the Secret unscented has become sommething you have to know somebody to get…like crack or something. I have tried the Asian pear and the so help me Vanilla chai…both evil. Why is it so hard to get unscented???

  • Maria

    April 15, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    I am so with you there.

    I’ve been wearing the powder fresh scent for FOURTEEN YEARS. They can’t fuck it up on me now.